For old time's sake...

No, I haven't disappeared down a rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland, nor would I have enjoyed the kind of strange adventures that she had. I like my life served up straighter than that. My days have mostly been very ordinary but much improved from how they had been in the past. I still continuously count my blessings, although lately I take the credit for a lot of them myself.

I'm getting used to this new and improved version of myself and am no longer so surprised every day. I'm starting to grow into my own personality and learning to trust it. So far, I am managing to keep myself busy but I think I am going to need to find a useful activty to fill my spare time. I am thinking about doing volunteer work and hopefully will find something that will suit me.

Tyke and I are taking ever increasingly longer walks three times a day all over the place. Sometimes I plan them ahead of time and sometimes I make them up as we go along. We both enjoy them very much and there is much to discover. The world is our oyster and we don't let the rainy weather discourage us.

I've lost so much weight that I now weigh what I used to when I was twenty years old. To say that I am pleased is putting it mildly. I love my skinny self and didn't have to suffer for it. I do look quite normal and not like a famine victim. I'm having my gastric band emptied a little in August so I will be able to eat larger portions of food in the future.There's no need to lose more weight.

At her invitation, I will be staying with my daughter in Texas for Christmas and New Year's. That's still some time away but I am looking forward to it very much. I can't think of a lovelier way to spend the holidays.

The sun has just come out again and Tyke is gently reminding me that it's time to go for a walk.

On a quiet night...

I find myself in a relatively peaceful state of mind and will take the opportunity to share a bit of what has been going on around here with you. Not that an awful lot has, I spent most of my days in the pursuit of quiet activities. That is because I'm in the process of quitting the last little bit of my anti-psychotics because it became impossible for me to take it any longer. 

The last little bit that I was taking was giving me hot flashes and a case of nerves that only wore off over the course of the day. It was kind of unpleasant and it became a real bother to take that pill in the morning. It was not something that I was looking forward to. 

Because I was taking such a small dose, I will probably not have much of a withdrawal effect but I am not completely steady on my feet. It will probably take me the better part of a week to get back to normal but I am not doing too badly for the most part.

As a result of that, I don't have any big expectations of myself this week and I keep daily life relatively simple and very structured. I try to spend time living in the moment and to not anticipate what is going to happen too much. It is a real reward when I achieve that. 

I suppose I will always be a bit of a Buddhisr and always be in pursuit of my Zen moments. I do strive for peace of mind. 

I've lost weight and fit into my summer dresses really well which is good because the weather has been very agreeable. We will have summertime yet.

The soul wants something too...

I'm drinking a cup of coffee and am slowly becoming coherent, although that makes it sound as if I was maybe comatose when I got up and I wasn't. I was actually quite perky, but for writing a blog post I have to be on my toes. That's what I think anyway because I want to be engaging, although I usually find that incredibly difficult. I think when it comes to sounding fascinating, I usually fall flat on my face. I take myself much too seriously for that. 

This will be my effort to see and address the lighter side of things, although I don't know if I will pull it off. It's tough to become suddenly lighthearted when you are always so very literally and stick to the serious side of the subject. Sometimes I try to write with irony, but I don't think that comes across at all. It falls flat on its face also. I have a tendency to forget to see the humorous side of things, although I don't lack a sense of humor. I'm big on slapstick and farce. 

Already I'm bogged down in seriously analyzing my tendency to see the seious side of things and that while I said I wouldn't. You see, it's in the nature of the beast. I must immediately cease and desist and enter the lighthearted zone.

Yesterday evening I ordered a new cardigan on line that will go with a few dresses that I have that I would otherwise not get to wear. I suddenly remembered their existence and realized that what I needed was something warm and fashionable to wear over them in a complimentary color. This cardigan is made of fine wool and is knee length and open in the front so it shows the dresses. It's a creamy vanilla color which matches some of the color in the dresses.

I got it on sale for hardly any money at all and I counted my good luck. It must be that time of year for them to be priced low. It might also have been a matter of good timing and I just started looking at the right moment when this particular one was on sale. It will be delivered in the morning and I will see if I made a good choice. I assume I did. It will match my boots also. With any luck, I will look like a picture of fashion. 

And, it's like my mother always said: if you run fast, nobody motices the difference. 

I went on the bathroom scale, although it was not the right time to weigh myself, and saw that I only had two kilos to lose. That will be even less in the morning because it always is. Losing that little weight is not much of a problem. It's  4.4 lbs. That does give me lots of hope. 

I reapplied my nail polish to those nails that needed it last night. Some of them had become chipped already. I didn't want to have to redo all of them so I did the ones that were in bad shape. When I get the chance, I will sit down and do all of them over again. I must try a better nail polish. Something that really stays on for a long time and that doesn't chip no matter what you do with it. There must be some like it. I don't believe the industry hasn't come up with it yet. Or they must not be willing to sell it for fear of falling sales. 

Maybe there will be some nail polish in my Glossy Box and I hope for a good lipstick also. The ones I have don't stay on very well. At least not when I drink a beverage, but that may be the problem with all of them. Maybe you're not supposed to drink anything with lipstick on. Yesterday I forgot to put any on and every tiome I thought of it, it was the wrong moment. It does get discouraging if you have to keep reapplying it. You see your lipstick dwindling as you use it. 

I do like this business of being female and already look forward to the morning when I can mess around with my make up again. The face wash I use is very good for my skin and leaves it relatively soft. It does a good job of getting my make up off. Applying my mascara is a job and a half because I don't have the eyelashes I used to have and it takes a bit of effort to make them look full. I also poke myself in the eye. The night creme I was using is making my eyes water so I've stopped using it. I'll have to use the baby lotion again.

Maybe there will be a good creme in the Glossy Box. I do have high expectations of it, don't I? Since I will be getting one once a month, I'm bound to run into something good sooner or later. All I have to do is be patient and I'm good at that. I'll use what I already have in the meantime. 

There's nothing special on the program today. There will be a few chores to do and cultural TV to watch so I will get my fill of that. I do need to have my intellect stomulated. My soul can't be barren. It does seem like I concern myself with only my make up and my clothes right now, but they are just the things that bring me comfort. The rest of me also needs to get fed. 

I hope you'll all have a great weekend. I'm going in search of my bed again. I have some hours to sleep until morning. First I've got to drink a glass of ice cold milk to make me burp. I have to have some sound effects. 

Ciao,

Nora

Boosting my ego...

I was going to very self indulgently write a post with no other purpose than to make myself feel good. It's not that I didn't already feel that way. I just wanted  to prolong the feeling as much as possible and inflate it as much as I could. I suppose I wanted to inflate my ego to huge proportions. I wouldn't have been able to fit through the door when I was done.

I don't know why I had this desire. I had not analyzed myself and I was not about to. I just took it as a given that I had it, although you could say that I really needed a moral boost now that I think of it. The minute I said that I wouldn't analyze myself, my mind automatically started to and I couldn't stop it. I immediately became contemplative and wanted an explanation.  I suppose I do have a Freudian streak in me. 

I also knew that I couldn't get away with inflating my ego simply for the sake of making myself feel better. I'd have to do a more sophisticated job than that. I couldn't pull the wool over my own eyes, much as I would have liked to. 

I woke up feeling pretty full of myself and darn near invincible. I felt that I could take on the world. It seemed that whatever I did and said was exactly the right thing and that I could make no mistake. 

That's all very well if you have no censor inside yourself to call a halt to your own exuberant self or if you choose to ignore that person. I'm not so fortunate and can't go on announcing that I'm the emperor without having a good hard look at myself.

I'm somewhat deflated now down to the proper size. I was getting carried away and it is better this way. I fit inside my own skin again. I have no grandiose notions left. 

That doesn't mean I'm down in the dumps now. It isn't as bad as all that. I do still feel good about myself. I'm just more realistic now and having a good honest look. 

I went on the bathroom scale when I got up and saw that I had to lose three kilos. That weight did sneak up when I overindulged in vanilla pudding last week. I suppose I won't be putting that on the shopping list anymore for quite a while. I don't like the stomach I've got right now. It's kind of round and not very becoming. That's one area that needs improvement. 

That's just cosmetically. I'll have that fixed in no time. 

It's what's on the inside that counts and for the most part I'm not unhappy with that as it could be so much worse. I am seeing the glass half full. Whatever wrench gets thrown into the works, I manage to extract and get things working again. 

I'm managing to drink small glasses of mild orange juice without upsetting my stomach. I think that's a real victory. I thought I'd never be able to do that again and took the chance when I put the juice on the shopping list.

You see, it's the little things that count. 

Have a good day all of you.

Ciao,

Nora

Getting started again...

It's always a bit tough to get started up again after I've woken up from a nap. I try to do it without drinking a cup of coffee, but it's impossible. I need at least two of them to get back to normal. 

I don't know why I'm so stubborn at first to think I can do without. I blame it on temporary brain failure. It's only when I hit total bottom that I realize I have to do something about it and make a pot of coffee.

I'm nearly alright now. I'm working on my second cup. 

For a while there it was touch and go and I knew I shouldn't write anything because it might have come out very wrong. Luckily, I do have an internal censor who keeps me from making major blunders. 

My eyes have gotten used to the glasses, even to the correction for the astigmatism. I miss them now when I don't have them on, like when I wake up from a nap.  

I see these words on the screen ever so much better.

I've gotten used to how I look with them on too and I think my haircut matches them very well. I should remember to put in some earrings so I will look more feminine. I look a little butch right now. 

I am wearing a mini skirt today along with some pretty leggings that I bought yesterday. Nobody can mistake me for a boy. Besides, I do have some feminine curves despite all the weight that I lost. And I do still have breasts.

I took the dog for a long walk this afternoon, but I can't say that it was much of a pleasure. He dawdled most of the time and I had to literally pull him along. He thought there were items of interest under every fallen leaf and there were a lot of them. 

As we walked, showers of leaves fell on us and this was while the sun was shining on us too because it was a nice day. I was dressed too warm in my leather jacket. Just a cardigan would have sufficed. 

I've got to take the dog for a walk now and it's already dark outside. It's tough when duty calls you out into the night, but at least it isn't cold. 

Have a good evening all of you.

Ciao,

Nora

On winter coats...

The dreary weather we had been having lately had got me in the proper mood to start thinking about winter coats and how I needed a new one. Last year's winter coat, which was thick and warm and let no cold wind through, had gotten too big on me because of my weight loss. If I wore it, I looked like a skinny bear in his over sized fur coat.

Because it was still the beginning of the season, I thought I might find a good deal if I started looking now and I went on line to my favorite store where there is the biggest selection of clothes to choose from and where the service is very good. 

I had to decide what sort of a coat I wanted and I thought a parka might be best because it would be warmest and also be handy when I rode my bike. A regular winter coat may have been more stylish, but not half as practical and I would have had to worry about being warm enough under all circumstances. 

I soon found one that was nice looking and had all the requirements I was looking for. It was lined and had a hood and big pockets and a zipper and snaps. I needed the big pockets to carry my keys and mobile phone and baggies in when I walked the dog. Also to put my gloves in when for some reason I was temporarily not wearing them. 

As parkas go, it was an attractive coat and not merely because the model who was wearing it in the picture was. The price was very nice too and that was important too me. 

I had to decide which size to get, but I knew that clothes from that particular brand had a tendency to run on the small side, so I ordered it one size bigger than I normally would have.

Then I had to wait for it to arrive and in the meantime I kept my fingers crossed and hoped that I would like it as much as I thought I did. 

On the day it arrived, I couldn't wait to open the package. The dog wanted to help me tear it open because he thinks every package is for him. It took some doing to open it neatly and keep it intact as much as possible in case there was anything wrong with the parka and I had to return it. 

I pulled it out and it looked okay. I put it on over the two layers of clothes that I was wearing that day because it was a cold day. It seemed to fit, but I still had to close the zipper. Much to my relief, this went without a hitch and the parka fit me as if it was made for me without any excess inches to spare. 

I went to look in the full length mirror and saw that it had a very flattering cut which made me look skinny. It was also very snug and warm. Now I couldn't wait for it to become wintertime so I would be able to wear it, though I supposed that autumn would be alright too, as long as it was cold enough.

I very reluctantly took it off and hung it on the coat rack because it wasn't the right time to wear it and it hasn't been yet. As a matter of fact, today it's going to be 82F degrees and I'll be skimpily dressed. It's not going to be very cold in the coming week either, so that parka will stay on the coat rack. 

I can't actually wish for cold weather when we've had so little nice weather simply because I've got a good winter coat now. That would be awfully shortsighted. I'm sure I would tire of the cold soon enough and start complaining about it. But it's nice to know that I'm well prepared.

Ciao,

Nora

A cranky old woman...

The dog woke me up with his barking before I was ready to be awakened. This displeases me very much. As a result I'm sitting here yawning with my second cup of coffee and it's like there's no hope in sight. I'm doomed to be in this half awake state until I go back to bed. Woe is me. 

I'm sure I will wake up any minute now. The caffeine is bound to start working. If not, some cold milk will do the job. It will jolt my braincells awake with its frosty goodness. Just like ice cream would if I had some. Mmm...vanilla ice cream. A Dove bar would taste good right now. 

I had lost half a kilo when I went on the bathroom scale just now, so by this morning, when I go on it again, I will have lost a whole kilo. It always works out that way. The fairies take away the weight while I sleep. Just like the tooth fairy takes away your tooth. It's as if by magic, just from sleeping. It requires calories too. 

I went to bed early last night because there was no thriller on TV or anything really that I was interested in. I fell asleep pretty quickly while listening to the radio in the space on the bed left me by the cat and the dog. They do crowd in and one wants to lie closer than the other.

This ended a fairly uneventful day in which I only saw my psychiatrist who asked me uncertainly if I had lost weight. I answered him affirmatively and he smiled and said that men weren't always so sure about those things. Isn't that funny? He's a little absentminded so it's possible that he wasn't sure and that he only had a vague memory of what I looked like. It's kind of endearing that he did notice.

I've had my glasses of milk and I must go back to bed now. Since it's Saturday, I will sleep for a long time without any feelings of guilt. Whatever chores need to get done, I will do in the afternoon. Sleep is a great good. 

I hope you'll all have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Imaginary skirmishes...

I'm really going to try and write a post for this blog now because it's been a while since I've done that. I never seem to get around to it anymore, although it used to be my habit after I took a nap in the afternoon. My naps have become longer, or I have been taking them later. Either way, I don't get around to writing posts and end up in front of the TV watching the news instead. 

Today I'm really late, so it doesn't matter what I do now. My schedule is completely turned upside down, but I don't mind because it's Friday. I ate lunch late so I'm still full and I don't need to eat anything for a long while because it was a big lunch by my standards. I may never eat again. Maybe that's what accounts for my big nap. It was my very full stomach. 

Now that I fit in size 12 hip hugging, skinny jeans, I really want to lose the rest of my weight. I'm very motivated and I don't want any unnecessary food to pass my lips. I have love handles that I want to get rid off and a couple of tops that I really want to wear, but that are too tight. I would look ridiculous in them, so they're laying on a stack waiting for me to fit into them. I tell myself that with enough persistence, I will. 

I can be as stubborn as the next person and once I have an idea in my head, it's hard to change my mind about it. I'm visualizing a skinny person and that's what I'll be.

I'm having a wonderful cup of coffee and am thinking about a glass of milk. I think I will stick to coffee because I need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed. I still have to walk the dog and I have the feeling that he's not going to be happy with a short walk. 

At least it doesn't look like it's going to rain like it did earlier when the sky was so threatening and dark gray. It's not at all warm outside, but that's okay with me. I can just put on my favorite jacket. My black leather one...the one that's getting too big on me.

*

The dog became impatient and I had to take him for a walk. It turned out that some rainclouds had moved in, unbeknown to me, and we didn't go for a long walk after all. I did let him sniff extensively all over the place as long as we weren't too far from home. He took his time doing that and smelled every blade of grass and every bush. He's now very happily chowing down on his kibbles which he had ignored before.

I'm having another cup of coffee and am not worrying about the rest of the evening. Time is going by quickly and half of the evening has already sped by. I will watch some TV later on, but tonight there's no thriller on despite the network's promise that there would be every evening. You can't believe anyone nowadays. Every night does not apparently mean, every night. 

I've had to turn the lights on already in the living room, it was so gloomy. Today may be the first of July, but the weather certainly isn't acting like it. A little bit of sunshine would be okay.

I hope you all have a good evening. I'm making the best of mine. 

Ciao,

Nora

Trying to go to sleep...

I've been on my way to bed now for a while, but I'm unsuccessful in getting there. I think I must not be properly sleepy yet, so I am foiled in my attempts. I even took my sleep medication, but it hasn't worked one bit. I am wide awake. I am going to try again as soon as I've written this post because I do want to stick to some kind of normal schedule. I don't want to upset the applecart. 

I slept late this morning and had a heck of a time getting out of bed. I finally got up because my knee was hurting me. I had to straighten out my leg and that was enough motivation to get up. It took me several cups of coffee to become lucid. All I did was sit in my armchair and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes while I waited to become a functioning human being.

Actually, it didn't take all that long. I was one within half an hour, but I like to exaggerate. I also like to drag out the waking up moment as long as I can. I'd rather not do anything right away if I can help it. 

There does come a time when I can't postpone it and I have to get dressed and walk the dog. I found some appropriate clothes to wear and set out with him in the noontime clouded sunshine. The clothes I wore were warm enough for the stiff wind that was blowing gray clouds across the sky and it looked like it was going to rain, but then it actually never did all day. 

The wind blew so hard that it almost ruined my hairdo, even though I had hair sprayed it. Later on in the afternoon, when I rode my bike to my sister's house, I got very much out of breath from pedaling into it and even worse so on the way home. It felt like I was at the sea with a good storm blowing in my face. 

Luckily, in my sister's garden we were somewhat sheltered, though it wasn't as warm as it usually is and we couldn't really sit out there with bare arms. We certainly didn't get a tan because there were too many clouds covering the sun all the time. It would have been good if it had at least rained because the garden needed it, but not a drop fell from the heavens. 

I had two cappuccinos and a cold beer and a piece of chocolate with nuts in it. That's about as decadent as I could get and it did fill me up. The beer was very refreshing and I drank it with a lot of taste. It always takes a while before I can eat dinner after that and I ended up eating my soup late and sharing it with the dog. I haven't even had dessert yet, but I figured that I didn't need it after that piece of chocolate. 

This morning I went on the bathroom scale and much to my surprise, I had lost another kilo. I wasn't really expecting that and was thrilled about it. It motivates me to keep trying and to not grab something extra to eat when it's not necessary. I don't need to eat snacks really. I haven't gotten more of those cheese crackers either and now just have the plain crackers again. They're a lot healthier and less addictive. The cheese crackers were loaded with salt. 

Well, it's time for me to try and go to sleep now. I will start the ritual all over again. I think I'm sleepy enough this time. I'm longing for bed anyway.

I hope you'll all have a good night or that you're still having a good Sunday. Mine was good enough. I'm not ready for it to be Monday. Blagh! 

Ciao,

Nora

 

On a cloudy day...

I've just woken up from an afternoon nap and I'm drinking my second cup of coffee. It is very necessary that I have the caffeine as I'm incapable of thinking clearly without it. Or so I've told myself anyway. 

I'm slowly becoming more clearheaded, but I should say that I'm getting a better mood. That would be more accurate. Why call things by any other name? I was a grouch before. A muddleheaded grouch.

It's not as though I have to pretend that I never get in a bad mood, do I? It can't all be moonshine and roses. 

I'm dressed in warm clothes as today is a chilly day. It was fun choosing what to wear, but I didn't pick anything adventurous. I went with a safe and sane outfit. Anyone would want to be seen in public with me, that's how ordinary I look. 

My closet is so bare now, that it's easy to choose clothes. Plus, I've got a trove of empty hangers. They are all good ones and I will save all of them. Doubtlessly, they will be used again some time in the future. I'm saying this optimistically, but I already had a stash of hangers in the bottom of the closet. 

I just remembered some clothes I have on the shelves that I have not looked at yet. No doubt they will need to get washed and ironed. I haven't worn them in ages. They should fit me well now. Ha, that will be a fun job to go and do. One load of laundry coming up. 

*

I just walked the dog around the fields. It wasn't as cold as I thought it was going to be and wearing my cardigan sufficed. It looked like it was going to rain and it has been predicted. Some rain would do us a world of good. Things are very dry and dusty. 

There are mostly buttercups and daisies now. All the dandelions that had gone to seed have been blown away. The clover is disappearing again, but I think it must be because of the dryness. It must need more water. 

Well, I must get to work on those clothes. Lord only knows what I'll find there. It will be a journey of discovery. The last time I looked through them I was quite a bit heavier. 

Have a good day. I hope your weather treats you well. 

Ciao,

Nora

Sleeping successfully...

Yesterday I cheated on my vegetarian diet and had a meatball for lunch. I had been craving something hearty like meat for quite a while now and I think it was my body's way of telling me that I had a shortage in my diet.  I had not eaten meat for a long time and I didn't know what was going to happen if I did. Was I going to be struck by lightening, for instance?

I didn't know if my gastric band was going to be able to handle a whole meatball, albeit not such a big one, but I chewed it slowly and carefully and all went well and I felt very satisfied afterwards. The full feeling lasted all afternoon and my stomach was very happy. I guess that's what I needed all along. 

For dinner I had half a bowl of chunky goulash soup and it was the first time that I tried that one. My personal helper had recommended it. It had big chunks of vegetables and mushrooms in it and I think I detected some meat in it as well. It was delicious anyway and I ate it with pleasure. I had a small bowl of chocolate pudding for dessert later and ate some crackers before I went to bed. For a change I had a really full stomach. 

Maybe that's what made me sleep so well because I slept for 7 hours and for me that's almost some sort of record. The longest I have slept so far is 9 hours, so this is getting close. It's very tempting to tie my successful sleeping to my diet and I think I will. I will pretty much eat the same things today that I had yesterday and see if I can sleep as well again tonight. It's worth the try. 

Oh, and I had lost a kilo when I went on the bathroom scale in the morning. You see what a difference it makes when you weigh yourself in the morning as opposed to when you do at night. In my case I lost 400 grams overnight just from sleeping. That's a whole pound. 

It's a normal time in the morning now when ordinary people are awake too. For a change I'm just like everybody else. I won't know what to do with my time. Of course, there are the inevitable chores such as the dishes, but I have all day to do those. 

I suppose it would be a good opportunity to pick out a good outfit to wear. It's going to be nice weather today and I'll have to wear something appropriate. I have a dress in mind that I like very much, but there's another one that I also like and I may give that one a try. It's a toss up between the two. One is more casual than the other. I suppose I'll have to pick the one I feel most comfortable in. 

Right, I have to get the show on the road. The dog needs to be taken for a walk. He doesn't know that yet. He's sound asleep. It will be a total surprise to him. 

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Sleep failure...

I'm up in the middle of the night after having slept a couple of hours. Apparently that was enough for now. I'm happily sat behind the computer with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in my big red bathrobe. Gandhi is eating her kibbles and Tyke's sound asleep in the armchair. I'm very thirsty and will have some lemonade next. Cold refreshing lemonade. I can't wait. 

It must be because I make the coffee so strong that I'm so thirsty. It dries out the inside of my mouth. I have literally no spit left. I don't eyeball the coffee in the filter right and always add a little more than I should for fear that it will be too weak. I do dislike a weak cup of coffee. Needless to say, the coffee in the pot always turns out on the strong side. It almost tastes like espresso and it kicks a punch. I really need to go back to a Senseo machine with the pre-measured pads. It was cheaper in the long run. 

Yesterday I was wearing a mini skirt that was sliding down my hips, it was so big on me. All day long I neglected to find a belt for it. Luckily I was wearing a long top over it. Instead of a mini skirt it slid down so far that it looked like a regular skirt. In a short amount of time I've lost five kilos. That's just from reducing my medicines. I'm not eating less. 

All my skirts are big on me and so are my other clothes, although I really should say that they fit me better. They are less of a problem than the skirts. I haven't tried on my jeans, because I seldom wear them, but I'm sure they'll be too big also. I'm not going to buy anything new until I'm done losing weight. 

I have no clothes that are smaller than what I'm wearing now, although I do have some sun dresses that were tight on me last summer and that may be just right this time around. We'll see. It will be something to look forward to. I'm glad I wear a lot of dresses because they have the tendency to fit better longer than pants do. 

I'm going to look for something completely different to wear today. I'm thinking of wearing a tighter, more colorful dress over leggings layered with a loose open top with long sleeves. It will be an experiment. I feel like doing something a little more adventurous.

I've made spaghetti two nights in a row. I let it cook a little bit longer than I normally would so it is easier to digest and passes my gastric band better. I had a jar of ready made sauce that came in the care package I received at Christmas time. I do have to use it up now before it spoils. I can eat a fair portion of the spaghetti before I'm full and it does give a very satisfied feeling. I go to bed with a full stomach. 

Speaking of going to bed, I think that's where I'll go next. I do need to sleep a little more. 

I hope you'll all have a nice day!

Ciao,

Nora

 

Coffee and cigarettes...

I'm accidentally awake. I went to bed at 8 pm yesterday evening, because I was so tired of the lack of sleep from the night before, and woke up at what I thought was 4 am. Good, I thought, I have slept 8 hours. I got up and let Tyke out back and made coffee and then sat at the dining table and made cigarettes. 

When I was very leisurely sitting there, having my cup of coffee and smoking a cigarette, I noticed what the true time was. It was 1:40 am. Man, and I was wide awake. I had been up for 20 minutes already. I was too awake to go back to bed. I was wide awake as a matter of fact. I had been ready to start the day. My mind and body had been fooled into thinking it was morning and there had been no doubt about it at all. 

There were no last vestiges of sleep left in me and now I just have to wait to get tired again. It will hopefully happen sometime towards the morning and luckily I have no appointments today, so I can sleep late if I want to.

I have already emailed with my daughter and ordered a book she recommended by Frances Falk called 'On My Own' and it is about successfully being a single woman. It's available at Amazon. Being a single woman, and probably staying one for the rest of my life, I can use a book like that. I do want to be successful at it in any case. There are enough books on how to have successful relationships, but to have one with yourself as a single woman? I think a lot can be written about it and it will all be helpful. 

It would be unfair to say that we, as single women, try to desperately carve out a place for ourselves in today's society as if there is no room for us. We must create that room and assume it is there and take advantage of the opportunities. It is only our own lack of assertiveness that stops us. If we're brave enough, there is nothing that can stop us. 

We no longer live in Victorian times when single women were old maids who were superfluous and lived at the mercy of the goodwill of their families and society. Nor do we live in the 1950's when we were all supposed to wear aprons and run house and turn out 2.4 children and bake cookies and live happily ever after and were failures if we didn't. What happened to single women then? Did they hang out in nightclubs and pick up married men?

We're full fledged members of society now and there's no getting around us. We are a group of people to be taken into account and the corporate world and the political world will have to pay attention to us and make an appeal to us. We can make our opinions count and I hope that will happen in the best feminist way possible. 

Enough of the soapbox.

I'm sitting here drinking ice cold milk now, which is cooling down my whole body. That's the drawback of that, but it does taste good and it is mighty thirst quenching. I had 3 cups of coffee and thought that was about enough of that. I don't want to get that wired, since I do make my coffee awfully strong. When you grind your beans for a coffee drip system, you have to grind them very fine, otherwise the water will run through too quickly and the coffee will turn out too weak. Lesson number one. 

I do feel better than I did yesterday, when I was either flying higher than a kite or was floored due to plain exhaustion. In both situations I tried to make sense and I hope I succeeded. Neither state of mind is exactly optimal, but I don't think I go too far off the mark either way. Fools and drunks always state the truth, as do children. Count me amongst them.

My SPN noticed that I had lost weight and it is indeed true, I have lost a few kilos. No doubt that is due to all those sardines I eat for dinner. They are good for you and the little bit of oil they are packed in makes you regular. I also like to eat teaspoons of peanut butter, but it doesn't take much to fill me up. For a treat I eat chocolate paste once a week. Mmm... I should really eat Nutella and I'll put that on the shopping list next. It's better for you with all those hazelnuts in it. 

I have a food intolerance for grains and cheese and have cut them out of my diet. I do much better without them. I have for some time now and can't believe the difference. It's a lot of relief. They were such a part of my diet that it took me all this time to figure it out. They made me gain weight too. 

It's early morning now and I made it through another night. I will take my medicines now and get into some other kind of trouble, no doubt. I'm not tired and will not go to bed yet. Tyke's done a poop by the back door that I have to clean up and Gandhi has just barfed. Isn't it a wonderful life? Animals are such a pleasure. 

Have a nice day!

Ciao,
Nora

Encore un fois...

I'm following my usual 'get up in the middle of the night' routine and have just made myself some coffee to get the last few remnants of sleep out of my system. Not that there are that many there. I'm pretty perky as usual and could do my whole administration and not make any mistakes. I want to do something far more pleasant that that, however, and write down my thoughts and musings on no particular subject at all. That means that I'll probably touch on many bases.

I read a lot yesterday and finished another book. I have now read A Virtuous Woman and Ellen Foster, both novels by Kaye Gibbons. She is a good writer with a unique voice and she writes with an intensity that makes you want to finish her novels in one fell swoop. That's not hard to do since they aren't big and you can finish one in just a few hours. They are very concise and to the point, but tell a whole big story with enough detail so you don't feel shortchanged one bit. You like her characters, though they are not at all perfect people, and you want things to end well for them, though there are not necessarily happy endings.

I am now reading Don't let's Go To The Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller. It's a very well written autobiography about her childhood in Rhodesia. The war for independence seen from a white farmer child's point of view. It's extremely interesting. I love the title and it alone intrigues, but I like books about white settlers in Africa and what their experiences were there. Another book I really like about that subject is The Grass Is Singing by Doris Lessing. It's a sad story, but written with a lot of compassion.

I think I will be reading When We Were Orphans next, by Kazuo Ishiguro. He's the same author who also wrote The Remains Of The Day. He was born in Japan, but has lived in England since he was 5 years old. The story plays in Shanghai and England in the 1930's, before WWII, and is of mystery and nostalgia and memories that go back to before that time. I loved The Remains Of The Day, so I'm looking forward to this book in particular.

I find that reading is one way to forget about smoking. I become so involved with whatever novel I'm reading that I forget all about cigarettes. I find it easier to get involved with a book and the storyline, maybe because I'm not distracted by my smoking. Maybe smoking is bad for your attention span and you lose your train of thought. Anything is possible.

Not smoking has certainly simplified my life. I can simply sit down wherever I want without having to arrange to have my cigarettes and ashtray and lighter there. I can just sit down without all the paraphernalia and get up again and move to another spot without a problem. I'm unencumbered. There's a freedom in that. All I need is my peppermints and something to drink, though that has gotten less too and I don't drink nearly the large amount of fluids that I used to. I'm not as thirsty and I think that is because I don't smoke. I guess it dehydrated me.

I have not started eating more to compensate for the lack of cigarettes. I think that's because I'm not going through nicotine withdrawal. I eat the same portions of food that I normally do. I'm definitely not planning on gaining any weight. That's not part of the program, especially not since I lost 9 kilos this year, or maybe more, I don't remember. If anything, I'm planning on continuing to lose weight, although I hope that the peppermints I eat don't hinder that.

The Exfactor was here yesterday to do the groceries. I had him pick me up some chunky liverwurst, because, despite my misgivings about the meat industry, I did have some worries about getting enough protein in my diet. I thought the liverwurst would be easy to eat for me, because I did so well with the paté at my sister's party. Well, it turns out that I don't like the chunks in chunky liverwurst. They remind me too much of meat and where the meat came from. I guess I like my meat products to be in unrecognizable form and not in anyway to remind me of the animal, especially if it's a cold meat product. My imagination works overtime. The Exfactor is now going to go to the Lidl close to his house and buy a few patés and see if I like those better. I'm sure I will and I look forward to him bringing those over on Thursday.

Ostensibly, he's coming over to look at my sofa, but I think he just wants an excuse to come over, because he likes coming here. My sofa is going to be delivered this morning between 8:45 and 11:00, so there will be no sleeping late for me if I desire to go back to bed. I think I will stay up and read and watch the nightly repeat of the news. I never did get to watch the news last night and feel hopelessly uninformed.

Tyke seems to be cured of what was ailing him, so those antibiotics worked quickly. I'm sure it was that shot that set him right. He gets a pill once a day wrapped up in a slice of luncheon meat and he likes that so much that I'm sure he'd like it for the rest of his life, three times a day. Gandhi gets a slice to, but she's a finicky eater and doesn't finish all of hers. That leaves the rest for Tyke and he's no picky eater. Gandhi takes little bites of her slice of meat and takes forever to finish half of it. Tyke gulps his down in one fell swoop. he doesn't even take time to chew properly. That's why it is so easy to hide the pill in it. I guess that's a blessing then. You can't do that with a cat.

I'm planning on finishing that autobiography tonight. I will sit in my armchair and do nothing but read. Hopefully I will have it finished by the morning. I will make that my goal for this night. It will not be to sleep, but to read. I can always sleep. There are enough quiet moments to go lie down and from this morning on there will even be a sofa again.

I have to go see my psychiatrist this afternoon and I'm sure he will be pleased that I've quit smoking and am still sane. It is a miracle isn't it? I never thought I would be this calm. I thought I was going to be much more of a frantic person. I suppose I am very determined. I'm aiming for a 100% success rate on all fronts.

I have to get rid of that nasty little cough. If I still have it next week, I'm going to the doctor to ask him for an antibiotic, because maybe it's a bit of chronic bronchitis, which wouldn't surprise me after all that smoking. I never paid attention to it before and just accepted it as a smoker's cough, but that's ridiculous, of course. You should never accept things like that. Not even subconsciously.

It's raining outside and 16C, so it's not real cold. It's supposed to clear up later today, but not get much warmer. There's to be partial sun and clouds. That doesn't sound too bad. Sunrise will be at 7:15 am. That's late. It's staying darker longer all the time.

I hope you will all have a nice morning.

Ciao,

Nora

Things you lose...

I decided to go one the bathroom scale this morning, after not having gotten on it for quite some time. I expected not to have lost any weight at all, because I had not been trying really to lose any. I had been eating when I was hungry and drinking lots of milk when I was thirsty. Much to my surprise I had lost another 4 kilos, that is 8,8 lbs, and just to make sure, I got on the scale twice. It is very accurate and gave me the exact same weight the second time.

Now I am one kilo away from the weight the Obesitas Specialist said I should aim for, but I think I can lose some more weight. I'm not going to obsessively go on the scale to weigh myself all the time, though. I'll just keep eating and drinking the way I am and go on the scale occasionally, but it certainly is a nice way to start the day. It cheered me up tremendously and I needed cheering up.

I was grumpy and out of sorts when I woke up this morning. I had a runny nose and an irritating cough all night. I must have eaten something at the party that I'm allergic too. I tried all kinds of food, so I don't know what it was. Whatever I thought I could eat easily, I ate, including a wonderful paté and a piece of quiche. Needless to say, I'm itching in all the usual places now.

The party was fine. I had one glass of white wine and one beer. There were some people I knew there, so I was not completely out of my depth. I didn't stay too long and as I was leaving, the DJ was setting up the sound system. It must have gotten quite noisy after that. That was at 10:30 and I thought it was a good time to go. I'm not one for big crowds anyway and it was starting to be a big crowd. At least the weather was nice and a large amount of people were out on the patio.

I rode my bike home through the dark night and was a little bit worried about that and didn't dawdle. Nothing happened, of course, and there's no reason to think that anything would. Not in this neighborhood. It's just the idea of being a woman out there alone on your bike in the late evening. You always feel vulnerable.

Tyke was very happy to see me and got a good belly rub. He had found his lost tennis ball and was trying to keep track of two balls at the same time. It was very funny to watch him do it. One ball in his mouth and the other between his paws and that's how he moved around the living room.

I was pleased to walk into the living room and see the coffee table and the area rug and the new plants in their lime green pots. When I bought those, I had not realized that I already had three other lime green pots, so it was a fortunate purchase, done completely subconsciously. I must have zeroed in on that color in the flower shop without being aware of it.

The colors in the living room are going to be black and dark gray with touches of red and light green. Yellow will be eliminated. There is only one house plant in a yellow pot and I will change that today. The newly washed, yellow, fleece blanket will not be put back, nor will the yellow pillows. I've bought two pillows with lime green covers instead. Yellow will be banished to the bedroom.

It is overcast and dark outside and it's supposed to rain. It sure looks like it will. I don't mind because I'm nice and cozy inside. I will do a few chores and take it easy today. There will be no grand deeds from me. My nose is still runny and I hope that will disappear soon. Of course, smoking doesn't help that either. Tomorrow morning I quit and I'm looking forward to it. It will be a whole new challenge and one I'm cut out for. I'm not daunted by it, although maybe I should be.

Have a great day!

Ciao,
Nora

Wasting time...

The greatest danger of a lazy afternoon behind the computer is that you will end up spending money and I just did. I ordered a pair of boots. I can't get the picture of them, although I tried because I wanted to share them with you. For some reason that didn't work out. They are from Esprit and I got them on sale and saved 50 euros on them. I thought that was pretty darn good and didn't want to waste the opportunity. They were calling my name and they were my size. I'm congratulating myself with my good fortune.

The coffeemaker has been delivered, but I haven't unpacked it yet because I first want to use up my Senseo coffee pads or as long as the Senseo machine allows me to do it. On Monday the Exfactor is going to be here and I will ask him to get the best ground coffee and the unbleached filters when he goes to the supermarket. I would like to get the same brand as the coffee pads I use now, but I don't know if they have that in regular ground coffee. It tastes good and is relatively inexpensive so it would be great if they did.

I'm going to change my bed in a little bit and do a load of laundry. I have some clothes I have to wash and they will go in with the sheets and pillow cases. I will look forward to a clean bed tonight. I always want to make sure that I have something good to look forward to, no matter how small the event is. Yesterday it was a chocolate bar that I had saved from my trip to the tobacco shop. It was a real treat. I do like chocolate so very much and allow myself to have some about once a month or so. I think having it more often would be dangerous.

I haven't been on the bathroom scale for a while, but I rely on the way my clothes fit me to know if I'm gaining or losing weight. I seem to be okay and I don't want to neurotically step on the scale all the time, although there were periods when I did that. I've broken myself of that habit. I don't worry about how much I weigh. I worry more about how my clothes fit me and about how I look. If I feel good about myself, I don't worry about anything at all.

It's been a warm day. Outside it is 27C and inside it is 25C. I have the back door open and I just opened the kitchen window to get a draft in here. It is very pleasant because I'm sitting right in it. There are some clouds blocking the sun every once in a while and tomorrow we are supposed to have thunder storms. On Monday it's going to be cooler and it's going to rain again.

Tyke is lying by my feet and is sound asleep. We've both had kind of a lazy day, caused by the warmth, no doubt. It isn't so hot that it is unpleasant, but it is humid so you don't want to do too much. Besides, it's weekend and we're not supposed to exert ourselves. Tyke has the right idea when he lies down on the cool linoleum.

I fell asleep on the sofa at noon, quite unexpectedly because it was not in the planning. I was confused when I woke up and tried to figure out what time of the day it was. I was discombobulated. I only slept for about an hour, but it was enough to make me think it was evening and that I should get ready to go to bed. I wouldn't have wanted to without the clean sheets. I was surprised when I saw what time it was and had to have a cup of coffee to clear my head. Then my sister called and I could hardly have a conversation, that's how muddled I was. Not how I am when I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm ready to tackle anything at all.

The good summer smells are coming in with the breeze through the open window. If you could bottle that smell and spray it in your living room in the wintertime, you would be a happy person. It smells like clean laundry. Very fresh and invigorating. It makes you want to be outdoors with a picnic and a bottle of wine in a meadow by a creek. There would have to be trees, of course, for the shade. And a tall, handsome stranger. Hey, I'm single. I can wish for tall, handsome strangers.

Okay, I'm going to change my bed and do a load of laundry. As if I have to stand there and churn the washing machine.

Have a good day!

Ciao,
Nora

Wanting a cupcake...

I'm in dire need of something good to eat and all I can think of is a cupcake with chocolate chips. The thought of it is making my mouth water and of course I have no such thing in the cupboards. Hopefully it is a temporary craving for something sweet that I will get over after I drink a glass of fruit juice. Another thing I could really eat now is a chocolate candy bar. I must really be craving sweets and I think it may be a hormonal thing.

I woke up in a sweat and my bottom sheet was wet. I think I'm having hot flashes during the night because this happens regularly. I thought I was too old for them, but I can't explain it any other way. Every once in a while I have what I think is a hot flash during the day and it feels like I'm blushing all over. I don't seem to have any of the emotional issues that come with it, so that's a relief. I just every once in a while get these cravings for sweets, which I sometimes give into. The other day I bought two candy bars when I was the drugstore and ate them all at once, but I did watch what I ate the rest of the day. I don't need to put on any kilos.

I had gained a few kilos when two of my medications were increased, but I have lost them again and now have to lose 4 kilos. So that's my immediate goal. I'm not going to starve myself for them, though, and will keep eating the way I am now, which is sufficient to make me feel not hungry and which gives me enough nutritions. The medication is always an added complication because it makes you gain extra weight quickly, even when you don't eat that much. It seems to store all the food you eat into fat and it's very frustrating. A lot of care needs to be taken when eating.

It's best not to be too vain and to accept your slightly pudgy body and not worry about it too much because you know you will never reach perfection. You just need to dress the best way possible and stay in as good enough shape as you can. I do get tired of size zero models advertising weight loss creams and other so called solutions with their perfect hipbones and their flat stomachs. It gives such an unrealistic view of what most women look like. I very much want us to accept who we are, imperfections and all, so that we don't get inferiority complexes. I don't want to be slave to some big company's idea of what a woman should look like when it is so clearly not within reach of most of us. I boycott the whole idea and the push to it. Bigger normal sized women don't even come into the picture, except for in that one body lotion commercial and that was an exception.

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now and return to down to the ground. It's in the middle of the night and because I went to bed so early, I woke up early in the middle of the night too. I finished reading "Devil Bones"and am now reading "The Lake of Dead Languages," which is a literary thriller. I just started it and didn't get into it too far yet, so I'm withholding judgment. It's a different kind of thriller than the usual kind. It's one of the novels that I already had on my bookcase and that I need to start reading if I'm ever to get through all the ones that are waiting for me there. "Devil Bones" was a good read because the author is a forensic anthropologist in real life too, so she knows her business. It makes the reading very realistic. She's written many other thrillers and no doubt I will be reading them too. But first I have to read the novels on my bookcase before I order any new books. That's my ambition anyway. I don't know if I can fulfill that pledge because I will probably be tempted to order other books I'm interested in, but I can save myself some money if I don't.

It didn't rain yesterday evening, even though it was predicted, and I was kind of sad about that because I would have liked nothing better than to have been in bed with the windows open while it rained so I would have been able to hear the sound of it. There are a lot of clouds now and it is only 12C. The apartment isn't cooling off enough, though, and I'm sitting here in my tank top and my underwear with bare arms and bare legs. You would think I was in the tropics. I am cooling off a bit and it will be nice to get under the duvet in a while.

I have the domestic help coming this afternoon, but the apartment is clean enough and I really don't have to do much before she gets here. The laundry is drying on the rack and the dishes have been put away. I'm very organized for a change. That's because I got my act together this weekend. I didn't dawdle and got on with things.

I'll have to choose my clothes for today. I washed everything that was in the laundry, so I have lots of things to choose from. It's just a question of finding the right combination. It's going to be a little warmer for the next few days, not much, but enough to wear summer clothes. I don't have a shortage of them, though.

Have a nice day. I hope you get the weather you want.

Ciao,
Nora

Early Sunday Morning...

My sister moved to her new house on Friday and for two afternoons in a row I have been over there making myself a little bit useful, although most of the work had been done by the movers and a large group of her friends who had all showed up early in the day to help her out.

My sister had moved to a brand new house in which everything had yet to be done. The painting, the floors, the window treatments. the garden and the patio, the fencing and the pathway to the back gate. She got most of this done except for the planting. The dirt needs to be prepared and the top layer of soil needs to be removed as it is all waterlogged clay and not good for anything you want to grow there.

She's had to downsize, coming from a large sized house to a smaller sized one and she got rid of a lot of things ahead of time. Now everything fits down to the millimeter in the shed and comfortably in the rooms.

My help consisted mainly of supervising and thinking of good ideas while I sat at the patio table with a beer and a cigarette, doing the occasional job when called for. Unless I can get in there and do all the work myself, I supervise.

I have to ride my bike to her house now, but it isn't too far and I can get there in less than ten minutes. It maybe only takes me a little over five minutes, but I would have to time it.

Because my sister's boyfriend was there, we spoke three languages again and sometimes it was quite funny and I got addressed in Italian and even responded correctly to it. I'm thinking of learning to speak Italian and I can use my sister's text books. It will be a new challenge to my mind. With my knowledge of French, it shouldn't be too difficult. Ha, ha!

I couldn't be gone too long, though, because I didn't want to leave Toby on his own for such a long time. The first thing I did when I came home was give him food and water, which he was more than ready for. Then he wanted to be petted and almost unsuccessfully use the litter box in his own clumsy way. I have to keep Tyke away from him, because Tyke thinks everything is interesting that Toby does.

Much as I would like to, I see no improvement in Toby, except that he's learning to deal better with his handicap and tries harder to compensate for it. He falls off the litter box quite a few times, but gets back on it until he gets it right. Eating and drinking are going quite well now as we have a good system. He hardly has to move to do it. It will be a tough decision to make on Monday.

Gandhi absolutely avoids him and does not even get near him. She gives him a wide berth. Tyke, on the other hand, is always sticking his nose right into the box to see how Toby is doing. I think Gandhi likes being the only functioning cat now. She doesn't constantly have to worry about her place in the hierarchy. Toby did have a way of reminding her of that and he always made sure that she knew he was the top cat. That is no longer so and things have shifted. Maybe Gandhi was meant to be an only cat. She's especially close to Tyke now, sleeping in the same places where he is and actively seeking him out.

I have gotten the new clothes I had ordered in the meantime and I'm much pleased with them. I especially like the harem pants as they are comfortable to wear and they look quite funky. I've got some ankle boots to go with them and they make the outfit complete with a sleeveless tunic over it. It is black with flowers in a red and green print and the pants are olive green.

I've also got a burgundy red India cotton dress with pockets on the skirt that I wear with leggings. It is sleeveless as well and perfect for this weather. The pockets are handy and allow me to go places without my purse. I can put my keys and my mobile phone in them.

I had ordered a long sleeved bolero a few months ago and it was too tight, but I put it on yesterday and it fit very well, much to my pleasure. I must have lost weight, although I did not go on the bathroom scale to find out. I'll let my clothes speak for themselves. I lost at least one size at the top and I have flabby arms as a result.

We've regularly had rain for the past week or so. It's been very pleasant and the temperatures have not been high. It's been bearable weather. Cloudy with sunshine and a shower now and then. That's my kind of summer. The heatwave is over. I hope one doesn't happen again.

My sister gave me some English language books. One of them was "The Girl Who Played With Fire" by Stieg Larsson. That was the book that I wanted to order after I had read the first one in the series. Luckily, I hadn't yet and got sidetracked by the Inspector Linely thrillers. So, when I'm done with "Careless in Red, " I'll have my next book ready to read. How lucky can you get?

I've got to take my medicines now and take the dog for an early morning walk and then probably go back to bed. It will be pleasant to sleep some more. I'm more than ready to get under the covers again.

Have a nice day.

Ciao,
Nora

Later in the day...

Very early in the morning I took a shower and fixed my hair into a punk style hairdo with a lot of hairspray. I picked out my clothes for the day. Several layers to be nice and warm and one of them was the long sleeved flowered dress that I hadn't worn for a long time. It fit me great and I wore a black sweater over it with a very low cut V-neck so the dress showed up well.

It was a good thing I wore several layers and my leather jacket, because when I took Tyke out at 6 am for his walk, it was cold outside and my scarf was not a luxury item. We made a longer walk and enjoyed the peace and quiet of the early morning. Hardly anyone was out there but a little traffic and some newspaper delivery people. We didn't meet one other dog and his owner.

Tyke likes this walk, because it takes us past the white horse in his meadow and Tyke is fascinated and scared of it at the same time. We always stop and look at it and usually the horse walks up to the fence to greet Tyke. Tyke is very weary of him and to hide his fear he ends up barking at him, at which point we promptly leave so as not to wake up the whole neighborhood. It's quite a bit of excitement.

Then we reach a stretch of grass where everybody must walk their dog, because I can't get Tyke away from there and he pulls at the leash if I try to move him from a particular interesting spot and there are many spots like it. It's a battle that eventually I win by persistence. You wouldn't think that a 13 kilo dog had so much strength in him.

When we got home, I turned on the computer because I had to order some new bras because of my weight loss. I had become less endowed. This doesn't bother me, but I do want to fit well in my bras. It looks ridiculous if they are too big. I found the right ones in the right size and I also found a set of two sundresses in two different prints for a good price and ordered those as well. I can wear cardigans and leggings with them, or sweaters on top. I ordered them in a smaller size than the rest of my clothes are, figuring I am ready for that. My other clothes are getting too big.

Then I laid down on the sofa and took a little nap. Just for an hour to get over the worst of my momentary dip. That's all I needed and when I woke up I was completely over it again. I felt fine and did some chores. Mostly decluttering the kitchen and the living room and taking care of the trash.

Then Toby managed to knock over a dining chair and it knocked over the plant stand which caused the plant to fall on the floor. The plant landed upside down and the pot broke. I said, "Bravo, Toby, you did a good job. Encore!" I swept up the shards and the dirt and found a different pot to put the plant in. Luckily I had one and this one won't break because it's made of aluminum. The plant doesn't look too bad and I think it's going to be okay. It did make me realize that I had over watered it and that I need to let it dry out, so it was good for something.

The personal helper got here and she had gotten a haircut which made her look a lot younger. I told her so and I must say that a good haircut can do wonders. We sat and talked for a while about how the week had gone and then took Tyke for a long walk through the next neighborhood. Tyke and I walk quickly, I realized, and she had a hard time keeping up. It wasn't warm outside, so it was pleasant to go for a walk and I could have gone much further than the 50 minutes that we walked, but we weren't wearing the right shoes for it. We'll go for an hour the next time.

Shortly after she left, the Exfactor got here. I was watching Germany play Serbia in the World Cup and it was an interesting game. We watched it while we talked, because we're not that fanatic. We didn't miss any of the exciting parts, besides, there were repeats immediately. There were many yellow cards and one red one, all deserved. Serbia won. Germany didn't start to play well until the second half when Serbia defended very well. Tomorrow The Netherlands play Japan in the afternoon. I will be watching and commentating.

I made a deal with my personal helper that I would clean out some of the dresser drawers and organize my photographs that are in there somewhere. Most likely I will be doing that this weekend. I'm looking for the last photographs I have of my son. I was going to show them to her today, but couldn't find them because the drawers are so unorganized. That's terrible. I must get some order into them. I will get a trash bag and throw away everything that is obsolete and useless. I will show no mercy.

It isn't cold in the apartment, but it feels as though it is. I still have the windows open at the top, but there's not much of a draft. Still, my feet are cold and I should put on some warm socks. There are kids playing outside without their jackets on and I wonder if they are confused or if I am. I could have sworn it wasn't warm enough.

Alright, I will see if I can catch the latest political news anywhere. Attempts at coalition forming are still going on and it's starting to look very interesting. We may become much less right oriented than was originally feared.

Have a good rest of the day.

Ciao,
Nora

Digital.

According to my new digital scale, I have lost 3 kilos. I bought my scale at the housewares store and I got it on sale. It is an expensive scale that also measures your body fat and body water content and muscle/fat percentage. It was marked down to the price of a cheaper scale. Of course, I have to program it to do all those things, but for now it tells me my weight and that is good enough. The rest will come later.

I now have about 4 kilos left to lose to reach the weight that the Obesitas Specialist said I should aim for, but I am going to try and lose more weight and aim for an additional 5 kilos, but if I lose the 4 kilos, I will have lost a total of 40 kilos, which is the equivalent of a small person.

I had planned to do more things, but I was so worn out from making that one purchase, that I laid down on the sofa and slept for 3 hours. Yes, I can´t believe it myself. I didn´t know I was short of sleep. I thought I was all caught up. Without realizing it, I was very tired and needed those extra hours. I felt a lot better when I woke up, but still pleasantly drowsy and tired enough to want to go to bed on time in the evening.

I slept like a bear in hibernation, but I did get up early and doubtlessly that means I will have to take another nap this afternoon. I have to do some chores today and I will get those done in the morning. There aren't that many to do, but just enough to make the place look cared for. My domestic help isn't going to be here tomorrow because she is moving and I will have to do some of the cleaning myself. I really don't mind. I'm more than capable of doing that.

I walked around the housewares store for a bit and saw all sorts of things that I needed, but it would have wiped out my budget if I had bought them all. A woman could go crazy in there, there was so much neat stuff. I saw the glasses I wanted and a new shower curtain and a new waste basket, but I just couldn't spend the money. The bathroom scale was more expensive than I had counted on. I'll see what I can buy with my next check.

Today is already Thursday and it seems that the week is flying by. Today is officially my day off. I never have any appointments on this day. Or very rarely anyway. I try not to have any commitments, but keep the day free for whatever I want to do. I think I will be reading a lot. I got "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" two days ago and I'm already fascinated by it, so I will read it. I've also got to go to the tobacco shop and buy two lighters, because the one the Exfactor got me is starting to run low on fuel and all I have is a box of matches that don't work well. So you see we are the victims of shoddy products and just have to accept that because they were cheap.

My punk hairdo is still very punky. It only got more so by sleeping on it. I'll rough it up a little more in a while and spray some hairspray on it. It should hold it sufficiently even when the wind is blowing. I like being just the slightest bit abstract. It matches my clothes. Oh, that reminds me, I've got to do a little bit of ironing today. There are some clothes that I want to wear that need to be ironed. They will look a heck of a lot better if I do. There's no getting around it. I have to put distilled water in the steam iron. Our water is too hard and it plugs up the holes on the bottom.

I've got to take my medicines and get dressed. It's time to take Tyke for his walk, though he is sound asleep on the coffee table. No doubt he is just waiting for me to get up, but at least he's not breathing down my neck. I've taken my vitamins and minerals pill an hour ago. I want to see if that way it doesn't interfere with my medication. I would be good if it doesn't, because I really need that those vitamins and minerals for my health. It would be very foolish to completely do without them.

I hope you have a nice day.

Ciao,
Nora