Trying to go to sleep...

I've been on my way to bed now for a while, but I'm unsuccessful in getting there. I think I must not be properly sleepy yet, so I am foiled in my attempts. I even took my sleep medication, but it hasn't worked one bit. I am wide awake. I am going to try again as soon as I've written this post because I do want to stick to some kind of normal schedule. I don't want to upset the applecart. 

I slept late this morning and had a heck of a time getting out of bed. I finally got up because my knee was hurting me. I had to straighten out my leg and that was enough motivation to get up. It took me several cups of coffee to become lucid. All I did was sit in my armchair and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes while I waited to become a functioning human being.

Actually, it didn't take all that long. I was one within half an hour, but I like to exaggerate. I also like to drag out the waking up moment as long as I can. I'd rather not do anything right away if I can help it. 

There does come a time when I can't postpone it and I have to get dressed and walk the dog. I found some appropriate clothes to wear and set out with him in the noontime clouded sunshine. The clothes I wore were warm enough for the stiff wind that was blowing gray clouds across the sky and it looked like it was going to rain, but then it actually never did all day. 

The wind blew so hard that it almost ruined my hairdo, even though I had hair sprayed it. Later on in the afternoon, when I rode my bike to my sister's house, I got very much out of breath from pedaling into it and even worse so on the way home. It felt like I was at the sea with a good storm blowing in my face. 

Luckily, in my sister's garden we were somewhat sheltered, though it wasn't as warm as it usually is and we couldn't really sit out there with bare arms. We certainly didn't get a tan because there were too many clouds covering the sun all the time. It would have been good if it had at least rained because the garden needed it, but not a drop fell from the heavens. 

I had two cappuccinos and a cold beer and a piece of chocolate with nuts in it. That's about as decadent as I could get and it did fill me up. The beer was very refreshing and I drank it with a lot of taste. It always takes a while before I can eat dinner after that and I ended up eating my soup late and sharing it with the dog. I haven't even had dessert yet, but I figured that I didn't need it after that piece of chocolate. 

This morning I went on the bathroom scale and much to my surprise, I had lost another kilo. I wasn't really expecting that and was thrilled about it. It motivates me to keep trying and to not grab something extra to eat when it's not necessary. I don't need to eat snacks really. I haven't gotten more of those cheese crackers either and now just have the plain crackers again. They're a lot healthier and less addictive. The cheese crackers were loaded with salt. 

Well, it's time for me to try and go to sleep now. I will start the ritual all over again. I think I'm sleepy enough this time. I'm longing for bed anyway.

I hope you'll all have a good night or that you're still having a good Sunday. Mine was good enough. I'm not ready for it to be Monday. Blagh! 

Ciao,

Nora

 

Monday afternoon again!

The good news is that Jesker seems to be getting better. He is a bit more lively and a bit more steady on his feet and a bit more aware of what is going on around him. We've walked around the little field twice today already and he did well. He didn't walk quickly, but he walked steadily. He still sleeps a lot, but he comes over to be petted regularly too, which he hadn't been doing, and he follows me around the apartment. So, although I barely dare to say it, I think maybe he is going to be alright, although he may never be his old self again. We'll see. We'll take each day as it comes.

I made sure he was taken care of this morning and went to creative therapy and I tell you, it was nice to get out of the apartment for a while, because I was starting to feel cooped up. I was gone for 4 hours and when I came home, Jesker came to greet me at the door. I thought that was a good sign.

I worked on my third painting, which I thought was almost finished, but when I saw it today, I realized that it wasn't and that I had to add more details and some extra layers of paint. So that's what I did all morning, very patiently. It's a shame that we have to have a 30 minute coffee break. I'd rather not have it and just keep on working, or have a 15 minute break, that would be enough, and I completely forgot to check if there were any cookies. I could have used some of those this morning.

I didn't take any photos yet, of course, so I won't be showing any of those today. I probably will on Friday.

When I paint at home, I sit by the dining table, and because I don't have any newspapers, I paint on the bare table, without any protection under the paper I'm working on. Needless to say, I've already got green acrylic paint on the table. It's dried up there and I don't know if I can get if off easily. No doubt more paint in different colors will follow, unless I find a big piece of cardboard or something. I used to have a plastic tablecloth, but I haven't seen it since the Exfactor moved out, not that I'm accusing him of taking it. I was just in a cleaning frenzy then and got rid of a bunch of things. Some regretfully so, I guess.

I'm not doing any grocery shopping today. It is raining and I don't want to go out in it. I'm going to make do with whatever I can find in the kitchen for dinner. I will probably be soup with vermicelli. The refrigerator is very bare. There's one egg in it and a jar of pickles and four beers, plus some other assorted items like condiments that are probably past their due date. I think I'll have one of those beers now. That will fill me up a bit...

...Mmm, that tastes good. It warms my stomach and gives me the hiccups. Gastric band!

Tomorrow I have an intake interview for the activities in the downstairs area of the clinic. I will find out what sort of things are available and how much of a waiting list there is and I know there is one, because a lot of people from the upstairs therapies are going to the downstairs activities. I'll just have to convince them with all my charm that I have to start after December the 18th. That it's absolutely crucial that I do, so I won't fall into a hole.

Well, never mind. I'm not going to fall into a hole that quickly. There are the wonderful holidays to get through.

Alcohol is a mood altering drug. I've suddenly become very mellow. There's only 5% alcohol in this beer, but it feels like more. Of course, I'm not used to much. I would make somebody a cheap date. They'd only have to buy me two beers and I would have reached my limit for the evening. I think I'll have a cup of coffee after this. It did fill my stomach, though.

Right, that was it for now. I think I'll go and make that cup of coffee now and start the soup. I don't really like the way the beer is making me feel. I hope it wears off quickly and I'll be back to normal soon. I think I like that state of mind better. I should really be a teetotaler.

Have a nice evening and don't feel bad if it rains. It's cozy inside and you don't have to go out on a bike in it.

Ciao,
Nora

Groceries...

After I finally managed to pull myself away from the computer and put it on pause, which is a nifty invention, I walked the poor dog, who had been so patient, and when I came back I made my grocery list. It is basically the same one I always make, give or take a few items, but I still have to make it, because I'm forgetful and will walk out of the store having forgotten something. As it is, I double check my list when I am done shopping.

I made sure my wallet with my money and my bankcard were in my purse and I grabbed my big shopping bag and got my bike outside. Then I very merrily rode it to the store where the parking lot was filled with cars and the bike rack was filled with bikes, but I did find a spot to park mine. I got the dog's food first and his Bonzo bones and when I walked out of the aisle I saw that Wieckse Witte was on sale. That's the pale beer that I like to drink so much. Without giving it a second thought I grabbed a six pack and put it in my basket.

Then it was on to the rest of the groceries. I squeezed my way past other shoppers to get everything I needed and also bought ten liters of milk, which should last me five days. I bought two liters of fresh juice and two pieces of Brie amongst other things.

The good thing is that there are always a lot of check out stands open and there rarely are long lines there. I had only two people ahead of me, so I was done there quickly. The fun part is stowing all the groceries in my bicycle bags and my shopping bag. Somehow I make it all fit, but the bike is heavy when I'm done and I'm always more insecure about riding it with the heavy shopping bag on my handlebar.

I had to stop at the tobacco shop and also buy a lighter, because mine had died and I had been using matches that weren't working very well, causing me much frustration. The man in the shop had my tobacco on the counter before I could even say what I wanted. So I'm a preferred customer, I guess. He does have to special order my tobacco. And now I've got a decent lighter.

When I got home, Jesker was behind the door waiting for me. He was very curious about the shopping and wanted some food right away, which he chowed down while growling at the cats who came too close. I unloaded all the bags and then poured myself a beer and put the rest in the refrigerator. I've had one beer now and I think that is enough. It tasted nice and that is what that was all about. There's no need to make a beer fest out of it.

I am financially just going to make it until payday, which is the 20th. I thought I was going to have to borrow money, but I won't have to, so that's a big relief. I had some extra expenses and I was worried about not making it this month, but I am. I've nickled and dimed everything to death, that's why I bought the beer, to celebrate.

I just ate some Brie and it was delicious. I have forgotten how expensive Brie tastes, but this cheap stuff is alright. You can't go wrong for 85 cents.

All I have left to do now is walk the dog and clean up the kitchen a bit. I'm looking forward to putting on my pajamas and my bathrobe and laying down on the sofa. I want to hunker down. Do some cocooning. All cozy in my own space.

Oh, I've got to water the plants, Mustn't forget that.

Have a good night, be cozy and safe.

Ciao...

A Pretty Decent Day.

Yesterday morning I was so slow in getting my act together, it was wonderful. I got up late and sat here behind the computer for as long as the Überhund allowed it, which was a long time. Those have got to be my favorite hours of the day, early in the morning in my bathrobe with a mug of coffee behind the computer. I feel that I'm in a timeless space, cut off from the world and nothing can interfere with me and what I'm doing. Luckily, nobody ever comes to the door, unless it is to deliver a package, but I usually know that ahead of time.

So, I sat there quite merrily, postponing everything until I had to walk the poor dog and then I got the show on the road and got dressed in my best duds and took him out. After that, I attempted to create some order in the much neglected apartment in which I succeeded a little bit. It looked less bad when I was done than it did before and that was an improvement anyway.

I had an appointment in town with my friend Von and I was planning to ride my bike, which the Exfactor had managed to fix to the point that the problem was much less that it had been, but I need a new back wheel. That will have to wait for a while.

Von and I were planning to meet on the Amor Square, which is really a small triangle downtown surrounded by cafés and shops. I rode my bike through the busy traffic and parked it in the underground parking and walked across those darned cobblestones to the square. It wasn't very busy, because of the dubious sky, which looked like it might start to rain any second, but it was warm out and I really hadn't needed my jacket.

Von had found a table under the canopy of a café and we very cozily settled in. Unluckily, at this café, they didn't sell Wieckse Witte and the waiter claimed that it was because it was not produced according to the original recipe anymore. Well, you could have fooled me, because I never tasted a better beer, but he suggested another white beer called Erdinger Weissbier, which came in a tall half liter glass, but which was not nearly as good as the Wieckse Witte, so I think they made a mistake. The next time, I am looking at all the beer charts before I sit down at a café. My tastebuds were ready for a Wieckse Witte and they were disappointed. Nevertheless, I had two glasses, because they made me so nice and mellow and mellow was what I needed.

We checked out the men that walked by and approved or disapproved. We always liked the ones that looked at us and made eye contact, because they were the ones that were most self assured. We talked about everything under the sun, including my son whose birthday it would have been that day. He would have been 34 years old. I didn't feel sad, but told Von a little bit about him.

When we were done having our drinks, we got up and walked around downtown where I had a soft ice cream and Von bought a bag of fries with mayonnaise.

We walked around eating them and ended up at the big square called the Vrijthof, where there are two big churches and many sidewalk cafés.

We settled down on the monument to I forget what it is for, so Von could finish her fries and I took some pictures of café Monopole, which was our first hang out spot.

And here is a detail of the facade.

It was time to say our goodbyes until next week and each go to our respective bikes. A few drops of rain fell out of the sky, but it wasn't much to speak of. I rode my bike home in the rush hour traffic, but I'm pretty nimble now and know how to time my moves.

The Überhund was sound asleep when I got home and didn't notice me until I was standing right in front of him. Then he was all full of happiness and followed me to the toilet where I had to sit and pet him.

I was beat! I felt like I had been on a long afternoon trek through the bush and I was weary to the bone. I made myself some coffee and downloaded the pictures I had taken. My legs felt like lead and I still had to walk the Überhund. I fed him first, so he could lie around digesting for a bit. It rained for just a little while and when it was done, we went outside and it was still balmy out.

It was great to finally just be home and to know that I didn't have to do another thing. I sat behind the computer for a while, but fell asleep behind the keyboard. I quickly put on my pajamas and my big cardigan and got something to eat and curled up on the sofa where I promptly fell asleep. I know I woke up at one time to take my medicines, but I don't remember if I tried to turn on the computer again then. I think it must have been all the emotions of the last days that made me so tired.

This morning I have creative therapy and I think that a bunch of my sculptures will have been baked, so I will be painting them. Putting a patine on them. I think that will be a lot of fun. If I don't do that, I am bringing a book with me to begin an altered book. I will start with a small book first to get a taste of it and to practice on, as I have never done it before and have only seen samples on the Internet, on other people's blogs.

The Exfactor is coming over this afternoon to bring me some full format photographs on a memory stick that I will be sending to John Mora. The photographs, I mean. The Exfactor has wireless and limited MB's per month.

Well, have a super day today, I am going to try and have one myself. I must after all that. Enough drama already. A little bit goes a long way.

Ciao...