No complaints...

I can't complain about the weather. It's cold and foggy right now, but at least it's not raining. Today it's only going to be partially cloudy and there will be sunshine and it's about time after all those gray skies. So, that's not something to be grumpy about. I would be grumpy if it were raining again because, although I like the rain, I don't like it non stop for a week. I crave some sunshine and so does the eczema on my head. It has been bothering me especially with the damp and cold weather.

I'm drinking coffee with artificial creamer because the milk is all gone. It only tastes somewhat bad. It would be worse if I had no creamer at all and had to drink it black, so I have to count my blessings. I can't wait to have milk in the refrigerator, but the Exfactor will be here today to do the grocery shopping and there will be lots of milk soon. I can then indulge in it to my heart's content. I have the Exfactor buy as much milk as he can carry and as his arm and leg muscles can handle on the bike without falling over. He is a very strong and wiry man, so he can carry a lot of milk.

I still have lemonade left so when I'm thirsty, I drink that, though it is not nearly as good as a glass of cold milk. Still, it quenches my thirst and has a decent enough taste and it's better than drinking coffee all the time, although I do enough of that too. I think I drink the coffee to offset the somewhat sedating effects of the medicines that I still take and I will be very happy when I've completely cut down on them and I know what is just me needing sleep and what was the effect of the medication. I very often need naps and I think I'm too young to start that kind of nonsense. I'm not an old lady yet.

I have to go see both my SPN and my psychiatrist today. I hope I make a good enough impression on my psychiatrist so that he will agree to cut down the anti-depressives some more. I've only got to reduce them two more times before I'm off them completely and today would be one of those times. I think I can convince him to give it a try. I'm doing well, so there's no reason not to.

I will go back to bed now for a few more hours of sleep. I will listen to the radio until I drift off. It's always very cozy in bed when I go back for the second time. It's when I get my best rest and my most interesting dreams.

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Sleep failure...

I'm up in the middle of the night after having slept a couple of hours. Apparently that was enough for now. I'm happily sat behind the computer with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in my big red bathrobe. Gandhi is eating her kibbles and Tyke's sound asleep in the armchair. I'm very thirsty and will have some lemonade next. Cold refreshing lemonade. I can't wait. 

It must be because I make the coffee so strong that I'm so thirsty. It dries out the inside of my mouth. I have literally no spit left. I don't eyeball the coffee in the filter right and always add a little more than I should for fear that it will be too weak. I do dislike a weak cup of coffee. Needless to say, the coffee in the pot always turns out on the strong side. It almost tastes like espresso and it kicks a punch. I really need to go back to a Senseo machine with the pre-measured pads. It was cheaper in the long run. 

Yesterday I was wearing a mini skirt that was sliding down my hips, it was so big on me. All day long I neglected to find a belt for it. Luckily I was wearing a long top over it. Instead of a mini skirt it slid down so far that it looked like a regular skirt. In a short amount of time I've lost five kilos. That's just from reducing my medicines. I'm not eating less. 

All my skirts are big on me and so are my other clothes, although I really should say that they fit me better. They are less of a problem than the skirts. I haven't tried on my jeans, because I seldom wear them, but I'm sure they'll be too big also. I'm not going to buy anything new until I'm done losing weight. 

I have no clothes that are smaller than what I'm wearing now, although I do have some sun dresses that were tight on me last summer and that may be just right this time around. We'll see. It will be something to look forward to. I'm glad I wear a lot of dresses because they have the tendency to fit better longer than pants do. 

I'm going to look for something completely different to wear today. I'm thinking of wearing a tighter, more colorful dress over leggings layered with a loose open top with long sleeves. It will be an experiment. I feel like doing something a little more adventurous.

I've made spaghetti two nights in a row. I let it cook a little bit longer than I normally would so it is easier to digest and passes my gastric band better. I had a jar of ready made sauce that came in the care package I received at Christmas time. I do have to use it up now before it spoils. I can eat a fair portion of the spaghetti before I'm full and it does give a very satisfied feeling. I go to bed with a full stomach. 

Speaking of going to bed, I think that's where I'll go next. I do need to sleep a little more. 

I hope you'll all have a nice day!

Ciao,

Nora

 

After midnight...

I've already slept a few hours, but I woke up because I had to go to the toilet in a hurry. That's the effect of a weak bladder. You can't hold up your pee, but I've been bad at that my whole life. I saw the backs of many trees and bushes when I was a kid and we were on long car journeys out in the countryside. I always had to go immediately and as fast as possible. I didn't have a moment's notice. That's one of the things that's mentioned in my instruction booklet. It's quite extensive.

This is actually post number 1,005. I thought maybe I had some drafts in there that artificially increased the number, but I checked and there were none, so this is really the number of posts that I've written for this blog. Post number 1,000 went by me unwittingly. I missed a chance to celebrate. Not that it's really all that important, because it's only a number after all and it doesn't signify all that much other then that I have staying power and that I'm capable of writing a lot of drivel.

Sometimes I reread my old posts and they are actually quite educational, because I see myself going through what life throws at me and come out at the end one way or the other, and I see that I do learn my lessons and come out quicker and better at each turn. It's my intention to keep improving until I get it right. I think that's going to take the rest of my lifetime. That should be another thirty years or so. I plan to get old. I should say, I plan to stay healthy and live long. That's another thing altogether.

I'm drinking a glass of cold lemonade now. It's my second one. The more I drink, the more I want, because I'm so thirsty. I'm almost out of milk, but the Exfactor will be over today to do the groceries. I crave a glass of milk, but I can't have one. It always settles my stomach so well. Lemonade has a tendency to give me a stomachache.

I will shortly go back to bed. It is sensible if I do. In the end, I am known to do the sensible thing. I can't get away with being irresponsible for too long. 

Sleep tight!

Ciao,

Nora

Potholes and speed bumps...

It's raining cats and dogs outside and I for one am happy about that, because as long as it's raining, it means it's not cold enough to be snowing and I can stand by the open back door and wait for Tyke to do his business without catching a cold. I do like to keep an eye on him at night, as much as that is possible in the darkness, because I want to grab him as soon as he starts to bark for whatever reason, though he usually doesn't, thank goodness. It's like he knows that he has to be silent when he is out there. He does me a great favor, because I don't want my grumpy neighbor upstairs to have anything to gripe about. 

Tyke's now sound asleep beside me with a full stomach, because he convinced me that he absolutely needed something to eat and pestered me until I filled his bowl, which he then emptied with much appetite. A dog with a full stomach is a happy dog, is my experience, and when Tyke is hungry he is a bother. He can only think of food and doesn't rest until he gets it. 

I'm supposed to be asleep, of course, but as is usual on the weekends, I'm allowing myself a late Saturday night when I'll go to bed whenever I feel like it. It is my one indulgence and I do so enjoy it, because I'm always in an excellent mood when I stay up. I feel like nothing much can go wrong and that the world is my oyster and that I'm the pearl lying in the middle of it. Everybody deserves their fantasy and I'm no different than anybody else. I do feel that a night well spent is worth the hours the next day that I have to sleep late, especially since it's on a Sunday, which is the one useless day of the week. A day of rest. 

The reduction of my medicines is going well and I'm not yet noticing any adverse reactions. I've cut back my anti-psychotics by another 2 mg and I don't notice anything unpleasant. I told myself from the start that it wasn't necessary to expect a bad reaction to reducing them. I could equally well expect a pleasant reaction, who was to say? I didn't want to walk around with a negative attitude and negative expectations. 

As of Friday I also reduced my anti-depressives and I've not fallen into a deep dark hole. It would be too early for that anyway, but I'm not noticing any adverse reactions from that either. I'm not going through withdrawal. I'm doing all of this under the guidance of my psychiatrist and would not dare do it on my own. That would be like playing with fire. I've gotten wise enough not to do anything like that. I do have to put my trust in a professional who knows about these things.

I've had my coffee and am about done with it. It tasted good while it lasted, but now I'm ready for something else. I think I'll have some lemonade. That will take care of my sweet tooth. I do always get cravings for sweet foods during the night and think of all kinds of delicious things to eat, but since I don't have them in the apartment, I'm in no danger of eating them and gaining weight. That's the best defense against that.  In my fantasy I'm always eating chocolate bonbons and vanilla ice cream, but I get over that during the day and have hardly any such desires then. I wouldn't go out and buy them anyway, except when I'm in the tobacco shop and buy a chocolate bar. That's another one of my indulgences, but I do have very few of them.

The lemonade is making me feel cold and I've just turned up the thermostat. A body does need a little bit of warmth. Now I've just got to wait for the apartment to heat up a bit. It will be pleasant in here in no time. 

I hope you'll all have a nice day. I guess my rain dance worked. 

Ciao,

Nora