Potholes and speed bumps...

It's raining cats and dogs outside and I for one am happy about that, because as long as it's raining, it means it's not cold enough to be snowing and I can stand by the open back door and wait for Tyke to do his business without catching a cold. I do like to keep an eye on him at night, as much as that is possible in the darkness, because I want to grab him as soon as he starts to bark for whatever reason, though he usually doesn't, thank goodness. It's like he knows that he has to be silent when he is out there. He does me a great favor, because I don't want my grumpy neighbor upstairs to have anything to gripe about. 

Tyke's now sound asleep beside me with a full stomach, because he convinced me that he absolutely needed something to eat and pestered me until I filled his bowl, which he then emptied with much appetite. A dog with a full stomach is a happy dog, is my experience, and when Tyke is hungry he is a bother. He can only think of food and doesn't rest until he gets it. 

I'm supposed to be asleep, of course, but as is usual on the weekends, I'm allowing myself a late Saturday night when I'll go to bed whenever I feel like it. It is my one indulgence and I do so enjoy it, because I'm always in an excellent mood when I stay up. I feel like nothing much can go wrong and that the world is my oyster and that I'm the pearl lying in the middle of it. Everybody deserves their fantasy and I'm no different than anybody else. I do feel that a night well spent is worth the hours the next day that I have to sleep late, especially since it's on a Sunday, which is the one useless day of the week. A day of rest. 

The reduction of my medicines is going well and I'm not yet noticing any adverse reactions. I've cut back my anti-psychotics by another 2 mg and I don't notice anything unpleasant. I told myself from the start that it wasn't necessary to expect a bad reaction to reducing them. I could equally well expect a pleasant reaction, who was to say? I didn't want to walk around with a negative attitude and negative expectations. 

As of Friday I also reduced my anti-depressives and I've not fallen into a deep dark hole. It would be too early for that anyway, but I'm not noticing any adverse reactions from that either. I'm not going through withdrawal. I'm doing all of this under the guidance of my psychiatrist and would not dare do it on my own. That would be like playing with fire. I've gotten wise enough not to do anything like that. I do have to put my trust in a professional who knows about these things.

I've had my coffee and am about done with it. It tasted good while it lasted, but now I'm ready for something else. I think I'll have some lemonade. That will take care of my sweet tooth. I do always get cravings for sweet foods during the night and think of all kinds of delicious things to eat, but since I don't have them in the apartment, I'm in no danger of eating them and gaining weight. That's the best defense against that.  In my fantasy I'm always eating chocolate bonbons and vanilla ice cream, but I get over that during the day and have hardly any such desires then. I wouldn't go out and buy them anyway, except when I'm in the tobacco shop and buy a chocolate bar. That's another one of my indulgences, but I do have very few of them.

The lemonade is making me feel cold and I've just turned up the thermostat. A body does need a little bit of warmth. Now I've just got to wait for the apartment to heat up a bit. It will be pleasant in here in no time. 

I hope you'll all have a nice day. I guess my rain dance worked. 

Ciao,

Nora

Wanting a cupcake...

I'm in dire need of something good to eat and all I can think of is a cupcake with chocolate chips. The thought of it is making my mouth water and of course I have no such thing in the cupboards. Hopefully it is a temporary craving for something sweet that I will get over after I drink a glass of fruit juice. Another thing I could really eat now is a chocolate candy bar. I must really be craving sweets and I think it may be a hormonal thing.

I woke up in a sweat and my bottom sheet was wet. I think I'm having hot flashes during the night because this happens regularly. I thought I was too old for them, but I can't explain it any other way. Every once in a while I have what I think is a hot flash during the day and it feels like I'm blushing all over. I don't seem to have any of the emotional issues that come with it, so that's a relief. I just every once in a while get these cravings for sweets, which I sometimes give into. The other day I bought two candy bars when I was the drugstore and ate them all at once, but I did watch what I ate the rest of the day. I don't need to put on any kilos.

I had gained a few kilos when two of my medications were increased, but I have lost them again and now have to lose 4 kilos. So that's my immediate goal. I'm not going to starve myself for them, though, and will keep eating the way I am now, which is sufficient to make me feel not hungry and which gives me enough nutritions. The medication is always an added complication because it makes you gain extra weight quickly, even when you don't eat that much. It seems to store all the food you eat into fat and it's very frustrating. A lot of care needs to be taken when eating.

It's best not to be too vain and to accept your slightly pudgy body and not worry about it too much because you know you will never reach perfection. You just need to dress the best way possible and stay in as good enough shape as you can. I do get tired of size zero models advertising weight loss creams and other so called solutions with their perfect hipbones and their flat stomachs. It gives such an unrealistic view of what most women look like. I very much want us to accept who we are, imperfections and all, so that we don't get inferiority complexes. I don't want to be slave to some big company's idea of what a woman should look like when it is so clearly not within reach of most of us. I boycott the whole idea and the push to it. Bigger normal sized women don't even come into the picture, except for in that one body lotion commercial and that was an exception.

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now and return to down to the ground. It's in the middle of the night and because I went to bed so early, I woke up early in the middle of the night too. I finished reading "Devil Bones"and am now reading "The Lake of Dead Languages," which is a literary thriller. I just started it and didn't get into it too far yet, so I'm withholding judgment. It's a different kind of thriller than the usual kind. It's one of the novels that I already had on my bookcase and that I need to start reading if I'm ever to get through all the ones that are waiting for me there. "Devil Bones" was a good read because the author is a forensic anthropologist in real life too, so she knows her business. It makes the reading very realistic. She's written many other thrillers and no doubt I will be reading them too. But first I have to read the novels on my bookcase before I order any new books. That's my ambition anyway. I don't know if I can fulfill that pledge because I will probably be tempted to order other books I'm interested in, but I can save myself some money if I don't.

It didn't rain yesterday evening, even though it was predicted, and I was kind of sad about that because I would have liked nothing better than to have been in bed with the windows open while it rained so I would have been able to hear the sound of it. There are a lot of clouds now and it is only 12C. The apartment isn't cooling off enough, though, and I'm sitting here in my tank top and my underwear with bare arms and bare legs. You would think I was in the tropics. I am cooling off a bit and it will be nice to get under the duvet in a while.

I have the domestic help coming this afternoon, but the apartment is clean enough and I really don't have to do much before she gets here. The laundry is drying on the rack and the dishes have been put away. I'm very organized for a change. That's because I got my act together this weekend. I didn't dawdle and got on with things.

I'll have to choose my clothes for today. I washed everything that was in the laundry, so I have lots of things to choose from. It's just a question of finding the right combination. It's going to be a little warmer for the next few days, not much, but enough to wear summer clothes. I don't have a shortage of them, though.

Have a nice day. I hope you get the weather you want.

Ciao,
Nora

Half a night...

I've only slept half a night and have been up for an hour now, but already the earliest birds are singing their song. It's incredible, because there are 45 minutes to go until it starts to get light. They sound as cheerful as anything and very uplifting. It makes you completely ready to face the day. Actually, it makes me want to go out and walk Tyke, but it's way to early for that yet. It does make you feel very much alive and full of good intentions. I have to try and capture this feeling and not let it go.

Of course, the sun comes up early in June and goes down late. When I go to bed at night, it is still light outside. I fall asleep, regardless. Of course, it's my intention to wake up when the sun has come up again, but it doesn't always work out that way. I did try to go back to sleep, but Tyke decided it was time to get up and jumped on the bed after I had been up to go to the toilet. He practically laid down on top of me and washed my face with his tongue. That was a good way to wake up completely.

It's been a nice and peaceful weekend so far. Saturday went by as if it was already Sunday and it was a complete day of rest. I putzed around a little bit, but didn't really get that much accomplished. There was no real need to either. Today I will wash the dishes and change my bed and do a load of laundry and dust and sweep if I have to. I will do the most necessary things to have the apartment in good shape for when the domestic help gets here tomorrow. Then she can do the harder work, such as cleaning the bedroom windows and the woodwork.

Friday was a busy day here. Everybody came and went and I was glad when I reached the end of the day and I had the apartment to myself again. After you've had a busy week, it's nice to have a peaceful weekend. In every body's opinion, the living room looks much better with the furniture the way it is arranged now and I can only concur. I like it better too. I think for the domestic help it is easier to clean, because things are arranged much more logically now and it easier to drag the vacuum cleaner through it. It's more spacious.

Because I have so much sun in the afternoon on the living room windows. and ordinary plants don't do well there as a rule, I was thinking about buying geraniums and placing them on the windowsills there. I had geraniums in boxes outside in California and they did well in the sunlight. I want some blossoming plants and could only think of geraniums as hardy enough to take the heat. I don't know if geraniums have any scent, but it would be nice if they did. That would be a bonus. I'm thinking about getting red ones, because I have several red items in my living room. I will go to the flower shop next week and see what's available.

It's light out now, but overcast. Rain has been predicted for today, but it hadn't looked like it would come this far south. A little mistake from the meteorologists. I don't mind the rain really, as long as it doesn't come down in massive amounts. It's quite cozy other than that. It does allow you to wear some clothes and I'm all for that. You can wear your leggings without feeling that you're overdressed. And maybe even your boots, not to mention a nice scarf.

I've just made myself a second cup of coffee, so I have to finish that before I take Tyke out. I had a glass of milk also. It was thirst quenching. I have old fashioned candies on my desk. I eat them sparingly, but a few every day. These are called butter wafers and they taste delicious. I like to take two at the time and make them last as long as possible. Tyke would like to take them out of my mouth, he's so eager to get them too, but I won't give him any. I can just see him choke on one.

Have a really good Sunday.

Ciao,
Nora