On food and decorating...

That's one thing I've noticed since I stopped smoking. I'm instantly awake when I get up out of bed. I don't have to gather myself together much. I still need about half a cup of coffee to cheer me up a bit, but I'm generally in good shape right away. At least I'm not sitting here dragging nicoltine and other poisons out of cigarettes and doing my head in. That was a very convoluted way to try and feel good. Thank goodness that's behind me. 

I can already smell better now and the coffee when it's just made smells very burnt. I guess I'm smelling the fact that the beans have been roasted. It smells less pleasant than I had anticipated, but maybe I don't have such a very good brand of coffee. It's the first thing you smell when you walk into the apartment, besides the smell of the deodorant coming from the bathroom. 

I suppose my sense of smell will get better over time and I think this is a nice development because a lot of memories are associated with my sense of smell. An odor can instantly take me back to a moment in my past. It's usually something pleasant that I think back on so it's no problem. I look forward to it. 

I had a bit of a slow day today. I had to try and find ways to amuse myself and it wasn't easy. I already walked the dog three times and took a nap twice. I guess all I can say is, thank goodness for the Internet. It does keep me occupied at the most boring moments. It and watching the news are good diversions when I need to fill my time.

I have to admit that I'm hungrier now that I've stopped smoking. My stomach growls regularly and naturally I feed it. At least, for as far as that is possible with my gastric band. There is a limit to how much food I can put into it. I do feel like eating hearty foods like fried eggs and salty crackers. I really feel like eating Chinese food and have a huge hunkering for it. It's too bad that I can't eat those portions, they are too big. 

On another subject, the living room has got all its final touches and, except for painting it, there's not much left that I can do to it. I will always be on the look out for interesting and colorful items to add to the decor. That will be like a new hobby for me. I will also always look for interesting art, although I really think I like the artist that I have the watercolors of now. But you never know what I will run into. I will not exclude anybody else. 

I think the living room and the bedroom will really be ongoing projects and that I will collect things for them and keep decorating them as the mood strikes me. It will be a little bit as if they are showrooms. That will keep me motivated to have them always in good shape and to spend time on making them look as comfortable to be in as possible. 

That's all I have to say and that's more than enough. I do carry on. I've forgotten to watch the 6 o'clock news even. I've got to fry some eggs. I'll pretend there's fried rice to go with them. 

Ciao,

Nora

It's alright now...

I'm entering day four of not smoking. I've just taken my medicines and put on a fresh nicotine patch. It didn't feel as though the old one had stopped working. I think the effect is psychological also. As long as you wear it, you think you're protected. It doesn't matter why it works as long as it does.

Every day of not smoking gets a little bit easier. The urge to light up a cigarette is still there, but I get over the disappointment of not being able to quicker. There's simply no way that I can, so wishing to is an exercise in futility. I immediately have to put the whole idea out of my head. That's the best part about not having any tobacco in the apartment. There's absolutely no temptation. 

If I don't manage to keep myself busy and distracted, I take naps to make the time pass by. It's one way to forget about not being able to smoke if it bothers me a lot. It's usually during the day when I've run out of things to do and I've already walked the dog a few times. I'm usually able to sleep for at least an hour or so. That gets me over the worst craving. 

Yesterday I went to Ikea with my sister. We got there early in the morning before it opened, but already there were plenty of people there. I had a shopping list of things I wanted to get and just had to locate the items in the store and in the warehouse. 

I got a rattan armchair to replace my other armchair whch I have put in the bedroom where it looks very good. It was time that I decorated the bedroom more also and I wanted something different in the living room. I also had to get the thick, soft seat cushion that went with the chair which was located in a whole different place in the warehouse, very unlogically.

I wanted to make sure that I got a good seat cushion because of the comfort of sitting down on it for any length of time and not getting a sore rear end. I have learned my lesson in the past. I also wanted to buy some throw pillows and I thought I had the ones picked out that I wanted, but when I actually saw them, I liked them less than I thought I would. 

Luckily, I spotted some that I had not seen on the website and that had the colors in them that I wanted so the choice was easily made. They were to put in the two armchairs that are in the living room to support your back when you sit in them. They are also for the extra touch of decoration, of course.

I had to get a new curtain to cover the door that is between the spare bedroom and the living room that I don't use and that is always closed. The curtain that was there didn't fit in the color scheme anymore and was old besides. I had thrown it out. I had picked out the new one on Ikea's website and luckily it turned out to be as nice as I had anticipated. 

When I got home. the curtain turned out to be much too long and I had to pin it up. Today I will have to shorten it, but because the sewing machine isn't working, I will have to fix the hem with iron on sticky tape.

Because of the paintings, the colors that have returned to the interior of the living room are red and orange. Subconsciously, I am now drawn to these two colors and gravitate towards them for whatever little touches I can add. They are both lively and cheerful colors so that's no problem. Both of them are in the throw pillows that I bought.

Except for fixing the hem of the curtain, I don't have much to do today. I had been planning on taking two creative therapy classes, but now there is an issue with the insurance company maybe not paying for them. It is up in the air and I have to keep my fingers crossed. I need to have a busier schedule. It is important that I am more active and see more people. I will have to make the most of the day in the meantime. 

I've got to get dressed and walk the dog. It is that time of the morning already. I hope you'll all have a good day and that you enjoy your interiors. 

Ciao,

Nora

Not smoking...

I've had two days of not smoking now and I must say that it's not always easy. I think about cigarettes and wanting to smoke one a lot. There are times when it is almost constantly on my mind.

Luckily, I am unable to smoke because I have removed all the tobacco from the apartment. There is none here that I can make cigarettes with in a moment of temptation. I find that much easier to deal with because now if I get those cravings for them, I don't have to worry about giving into them. I can go ahead and acknowledge the craving and know that there's nothing I can do about it.

I find it easier to drink a cup of coffee without a cigarette than to drink a glass of milk without one. I don't know why that is. I haven't yet started to compensate for the lack of cigarettes by starting to eat more. Maybe that is because I have the nicotine patch.

I have been told that regardless, I will gain a couple of kilos because everybody does once they stop smoking. It's a small price to pay, I think. It has to do with the slowing down of your metabolism or something along those lines. It was explained to me by the person who I had an appoinment with at the doctor's office, but I don't quite remember it all now.

Enough about that. There are other things in life than quitting smoking, although it doesn't seem that way right now.  I am sort of preoccupied with it at the moment.

This morning I'm going to Ikea with my sister to pick up the things I will need to finish transforming the living room. I've got my shopping list all ready to go and I know that the items I want are available. I'm looking forward very much to going and buying the things I need, but I'm looking forward even more to coming home with them and putting them in place.

Yesterday afternoon, when I was feeling unsettled, I took the dog for a long walk, much to the pleasure of the dog. We took a route that we seldom take and the dog was well behaved. He didn't dawdle everywhere. We walked at a pretty steady pace and when we got home I really felt that we had gotten some exercise.

When I still proved to be uneasy because of the non smoking policy, I went to bed and took a nap. I had changed the sheets and very gladly got in between them. The nap got me over the worst part of the cravings. It's funny that the daytime should be the worst for missing the cigarettes. I had not expected that. I thought it would be worse during the nighttime, like right now.

This is, after all, when I have the most fun and when I indulge in all my pleasures. I let it all hang out during the night, or so I thought. Apparently I'm not as out of control as I thought I was. I am, for the most part, just as sensible during the night as I am during the day. There goes my reputation as a fun girl. It's completely shot.

I must go back to bed now. I have nothing interesting left to write about and I want to go to sleep so it will be morning soon. I'm like a kid anticipating a school outing.

Ciao,
Nora

The year of the dragon...

I'm very happily sat here with my second cup of coffee and it's still a decent time of the night. It's not even midnight yet and that's also surprisng to me. For a change I'm up at a more normal time. I don't know what's wrong with me. I may even turn into a quite ordinary person and start keeping quite ordinary hours. Miracles never cease. 

I've had an enervating day. I spent some time redecorating the living room because I was not finished with it and I had to add some of the almost final touches. The real final touches I will add on Wednesday when I have been to Ikea and have picked up the things I want to get there. Then the metamorphosis will be complete. 

I also got ambitious and cleaned up my bedroom which had become a catch all for everything that I had no space for in the living room. I got a big trash bag and started tossing things out and reorganizing. I rearranged the whole bookcase and emptied out drawers of obsolete items. Such a mess I had. I purged the whole room and did a bit of decorating there too. 

Luckily, the domestic help was here also, so she could clean as I purged and between the two of us, we got the place looking spiffy. We were both very pleased with ourselves. And just think, I got all of that done just because of two new paintings. They were my inspiration. 

I quit smoking this morning. I'm hesitant to say this in case I don't make it and start up again, but I have the best of intentions. I was thinking about what I could do with all the money that I spend on tobacco every month and suddenly was disgusted with the whole thing. In a flash I knew I would stop the foolishness. I said a prayer, put on a nicotine patch and quit. 

Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment with the counselor at the doctor's office who helps you stay quit. I don't know yet how she does that, but I'm going to get her help as much as I can. Whatever it takes, I will do. I can't tell you that it's not frustrating at times, but I'm surviving. I have rubber bands around my wrist that I fiddle with when the urge to smoke becomes too bad. It does pass after a while.The urge to smoke comes in waves. It's not a constant pressure. 

I must go back to bed. The urge to smoke is less when I'm lying down and the time passes more quickly when you're asleep. Also when you are keeping yourself busy. That is why I am getting so much done. I have to paint the living room and the hallway next. Yippee! 

Ciao,

Nora

Watercolors...

Yesterday afternoon, I went with my sister and her friend to a small village not too far from here and visited an artist's art gallery that was located in the barn of a renovated old farmhouse. The art gallery was bright and white and lofty and filled with wonderful framed watercolors in all sizes. 

What set these watercolors apart was that they were painted with deep intense colors that were unlike your average watercolors and were so lively that they immediately struck you with their intensity when you looked at them. This artist, a woman who has been painting for many years, is known for this particular way of painting.

We spend a few fun hours looking at everything and trying to decide which watercolors we liked best because all three of us wanted to make a choice. We all ended up finding something after much careful study. I bought (on an installment plan) two good sized ones of close ups of red poppies and deep yellow tulips. 

When I got them home, I had to give some careful thought about where I wanted to hang them and took my time deciding that. After I had done that, I spent some time in my chair just sitting and looking at them and enjoying them. I had hung them where I could have a good look at both of them whenever I sit in my armchair.

While I was sitting there I realized that, because of the paintings, I needed to make some cosmetic changes in the living room and proceeded to make those. I had to alter some things completely and add some different touches of color. I spent the rest of the time doing that, pausing every once in a while to take a good look to think about it. 

I had to add touches of deep yellow to the decor and luckily found some things that matched the color of the tulips in that watercolor. I rearranged a bunch of things and will have to do more today until I'm satisfied. I also uncluttered and put things away and I will be doing more of that today also.

I had a thoroughly enjoyable time and like the watercolors very much, but then I did take my time choosing them. I like them better than my own art, which I'm too critical of and can't enjoy looking at. I've banned that to the bedroom. As soon as these paintings are paid off, I want to get more of them and I hope I can find such good ones again. I hope she is very productive. 

It's fuuny how paitings can inspire you to have a whole new look at your surroundings. I had not expected that, not did I choose them specifically because of their colors or keeping my decor in mind. At least, not consciously.  I was intuitively drawn to these. It wasn't until I hung them up that I realized that they set the tone for the rest of the room. I do know that less is more and that the living room needs to be unburdened.

That's my big adventure for this weekend and the activitiy that keeps me out of trouble. I should get out of the apartment more often.

Ciao,

Nora

Please skip the scepticism...

I think the medication for my stomach is beginning to work because I can eat a little bit better without it causing me as many problems. Needless to say, this is a great relief. It's a great thing when you can eat something without your stomach going in an uproar. I can't eat a lot, but just enough to satisfy my hunger and I can eat four or five times a day. 

I can't believe how much my stomach problems influence my mood. I used to think it was the other way around, but it isn't. I can be in a perfectly good mood until my stomach starts to act up. I get so uncomfortable and frustrated then. I stay uncomfortable for at least two hours, so it takes a while to get back to normal. It's good to realize which comes first. I'd go through life thinking I was one heck of a frustrated person. 

I'm very optimistically minded, really, and I'm usually in a good mood. As long as my stomach agrees with me, I'm one happy camper. 

The day went by quickly and I hope that the weekend goes by quickly also, although I do look forward to being a bit lazy. As a matter of fact, I look forward to that a lot. There's nothing better than lounging around in your bathrobe and making the morning last as long as possible. Postponing the start of the day with a cup of coffee and navel contemplation is very pleasant. 

The dishes have been done, the bed's been changed and the laundry has been washed and hung up to dry. The apartment is all clean too. That doesn't leave much for me to do. This weekend I will have to start reading again out of self preservation. I have several new books to choose from, one of them in Dutch. I will have to see which language I will want to read in. 

I have to watch the news and be a well informed person again. I haven't watched television all day. I don't know what's wrong with me. 

Ciao,

Nora