Wanting a cupcake...

I'm in dire need of something good to eat and all I can think of is a cupcake with chocolate chips. The thought of it is making my mouth water and of course I have no such thing in the cupboards. Hopefully it is a temporary craving for something sweet that I will get over after I drink a glass of fruit juice. Another thing I could really eat now is a chocolate candy bar. I must really be craving sweets and I think it may be a hormonal thing.

I woke up in a sweat and my bottom sheet was wet. I think I'm having hot flashes during the night because this happens regularly. I thought I was too old for them, but I can't explain it any other way. Every once in a while I have what I think is a hot flash during the day and it feels like I'm blushing all over. I don't seem to have any of the emotional issues that come with it, so that's a relief. I just every once in a while get these cravings for sweets, which I sometimes give into. The other day I bought two candy bars when I was the drugstore and ate them all at once, but I did watch what I ate the rest of the day. I don't need to put on any kilos.

I had gained a few kilos when two of my medications were increased, but I have lost them again and now have to lose 4 kilos. So that's my immediate goal. I'm not going to starve myself for them, though, and will keep eating the way I am now, which is sufficient to make me feel not hungry and which gives me enough nutritions. The medication is always an added complication because it makes you gain extra weight quickly, even when you don't eat that much. It seems to store all the food you eat into fat and it's very frustrating. A lot of care needs to be taken when eating.

It's best not to be too vain and to accept your slightly pudgy body and not worry about it too much because you know you will never reach perfection. You just need to dress the best way possible and stay in as good enough shape as you can. I do get tired of size zero models advertising weight loss creams and other so called solutions with their perfect hipbones and their flat stomachs. It gives such an unrealistic view of what most women look like. I very much want us to accept who we are, imperfections and all, so that we don't get inferiority complexes. I don't want to be slave to some big company's idea of what a woman should look like when it is so clearly not within reach of most of us. I boycott the whole idea and the push to it. Bigger normal sized women don't even come into the picture, except for in that one body lotion commercial and that was an exception.

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now and return to down to the ground. It's in the middle of the night and because I went to bed so early, I woke up early in the middle of the night too. I finished reading "Devil Bones"and am now reading "The Lake of Dead Languages," which is a literary thriller. I just started it and didn't get into it too far yet, so I'm withholding judgment. It's a different kind of thriller than the usual kind. It's one of the novels that I already had on my bookcase and that I need to start reading if I'm ever to get through all the ones that are waiting for me there. "Devil Bones" was a good read because the author is a forensic anthropologist in real life too, so she knows her business. It makes the reading very realistic. She's written many other thrillers and no doubt I will be reading them too. But first I have to read the novels on my bookcase before I order any new books. That's my ambition anyway. I don't know if I can fulfill that pledge because I will probably be tempted to order other books I'm interested in, but I can save myself some money if I don't.

It didn't rain yesterday evening, even though it was predicted, and I was kind of sad about that because I would have liked nothing better than to have been in bed with the windows open while it rained so I would have been able to hear the sound of it. There are a lot of clouds now and it is only 12C. The apartment isn't cooling off enough, though, and I'm sitting here in my tank top and my underwear with bare arms and bare legs. You would think I was in the tropics. I am cooling off a bit and it will be nice to get under the duvet in a while.

I have the domestic help coming this afternoon, but the apartment is clean enough and I really don't have to do much before she gets here. The laundry is drying on the rack and the dishes have been put away. I'm very organized for a change. That's because I got my act together this weekend. I didn't dawdle and got on with things.

I'll have to choose my clothes for today. I washed everything that was in the laundry, so I have lots of things to choose from. It's just a question of finding the right combination. It's going to be a little warmer for the next few days, not much, but enough to wear summer clothes. I don't have a shortage of them, though.

Have a nice day. I hope you get the weather you want.

Ciao,
Nora