Keeping up the happy patter...

It is with some amount of satisfaction that I sit here, because I've had my outing for today. It doesn't happen very often that I go somewhere out of the ordinary, because I usually don't have the desire to. Today I took the opportunity to go buy fake plants, because the Exfactor came by to drink coffee and I talked him into walking to that discount store with me. 

It wasn't difficult really to talk him into it, because he likes going there for all the good buys you can get there. Everybody else in the neighborhood likes going there too, as is evident by the long lines at the cash registers and the very full parking lot. We didn't let that bother us and shopped to our hearts content.

I finally bought a set of tall drinking glasses that I had needed for the longest time. There are six of them and I will have to make room in the kitchen cupboard for them somehow. I haven't got around to doing that yet. I have to sit and think about it first. 

I also bought Tyke two big rawhide bones and he is very happily chewing on one of them right now. Actually, he thought everything in the bags was for him like he usually does. He thinks I go shopping just for him.

Of course, I hung out in the perfume section, where they sell the best ones  at discount prices, and I tried out a couple of them on various parts of my body until I found the one I liked best. It was very inexpensive and I got a big bottle of it. When I got home, I spritzed myself liberally and I'm completely swooning over the smell of me. It's so delicious. It's too bad that you get used to it after a while.

I've got the fake plants and they are of a decent enough quality for me to be happy with. There wasn't that much choice, because some of them were just plain ugly, but I picked out the best ones. I put them in their pots and they look good and the most important thing is that I won't be able to kill them. At most they will get dusty and then I will rinse them off under the kitchen faucet.

We went to the tobacco shop after we were done shopping and I was greeted with a lot of compliments by the owner's wife about how I looked. She had not seen me in a while and was pleasantly surprised. I had not realized what a difference there was between me now and a few months ago. I guess it is really obvious. I certainly was pleased about that. It seems that reducing my medication is very good for me. 

So, now I'm sitting here with a tall glass of milk resting my legs. The exercise has actually been good for my knee, which was bothering me a lot earlier. I must walk over to that store more often. There are enough reasons to go there. Anywhere there are that many discounts is a good place to go. 

I hope you're all having a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Imagination and the use of it...

The day is passing by very slowly for some reason. It seems the hands on the clock don't move at the speed that they normally do. Every other day goes rushing by in no time at all, but not today. It is crawling by at a snail's pace and I have to use my imagination to fill up the hours. I've already taken a nap to fill up one hour. Of course, that didn't take much imagination at all.

I wasn't very tired, so the nap didn't last very long. I also had to share the sofa with Gandhi and Tyke, so I wasn't very comfortable. Then the delivery person came with the package I ordered from the on line store and, of course, I had to try on what was in it right away. It fit and that meant I had to put some clothes away in the closet and that was the complete end to my nap. I had no hopes of going back to sleep. 

I folded and put away the dry laundry and made the bed and cleaned up the always messy kitchen. Gandhi's paw prints are always all over the counter, no matter how often I wipe it. It's the place where she hangs out, because it's out of reach of Tyke. There's no way he can get to her there. His legs are too little. 

I was ruthless the other day and threw out all my dying plants. There was no sense in hanging on to them. There was no hope that they were going to make it back to health. The domestic help cleaned all the pots and arranged them nicely throughout the living room and told me where I could get fake plants for a good price. All I have to do now is go there. 

I have two little pots and four large ones to buy plants for. All the pots are lime green. I had bought them at different times without realizing that it was my preferred color. I wasn't paying attention to such things then. I would be much more alert to them now that I'm not in a medicinal stupor anymore. A lot went past me when I was.

The book I started reading is lying unread in a cubbyhole of the bookcase. I can't get myself to sit down and pay attention to it. I have a blockage in my head. My eyes see a book and glaze over. Areas in my brain shut down and refuse to pick up the book to read it. Suddenly that seems like an awfully complicated task to do. Maybe I see the activity as too passive, but then again, I do sit in my armchair and daydream. I haven't quite got my mind around it yet. 

Sometimes I think I have a fear of books, just like I seem to have a repulsion for creative activity. I probably associate it with another time when I was not at all doing well. Maybe I link it to me when I was another person and much more insecure and needy. I need to establish the habits and hobbies of the new me. I need to give shape to myself the way I am now or the way I am shortly going to be. I'm almost the end product of the three year long journey. 

It's been a beautiful day today. The sun has been shining all day and it has been relatively warm outside. I've worn my black leather jacket, which is my springtime jacket. My other leather jacket is too big on me. I've walked Tyke a couple of times and it was very pleasant, although Tyke acted like a lamb set free from the barn and was all over the place. He pulled me along at amazing speeds.

I must find something useful to do. I have to fill one hour until the news comes on. 

I hope you'll all have a good rest of the day.

Ciao,

Nora

 

Slow time...

Although I really slept well last night, I took a four hour nap on the sofa this afternoon, which seems pretty incredible to me too. I can't believe I slept for such a long time and needed a cup of coffee immediately when I woke up. 

It did me a world of good and I felt very satisfied and sated afterwards and in a good mood. I must have really needed that sleep, which goes to show you that I tire easily from doing the most ordinary chores and that I don't always get enough sleep at night and need to catch up on that every once in a while. 

The first thing I did this morning was go to the patio and clean up Tyke's poop that had been covered up by the snow that now had melted and revealed everything. It was quite a unpleasant job and I had been putting it of. 

After washing my hands thoroughly under hot water, I took the laundry off the drying rack and folded it and put it away and took the next load out of the washing machine and hung it up to dry. 

This is one of the jobs I like to do and I think it has to do with my sense of order. I like hanging up things neatly and putting them away, knowing that each thing has its place. When I get frustrated, I know it is because my closet is not in order and I need to clean it up.

Next, I got the mail out of the mailbox and was rewarded with my new health insurance policy which I had been waiting for. I had taken care of changes on my policy on line, but because there had been problems with the website, I didn't know if the changes had gone through properly and I was expecting all sorts of problems. I had called the help desk of the insurance company, but their computers were giving them problems and I only got a vague promise that it would be taken care of. 

It's nice when something does work out right. This had been bothering me very much and was one of the reasons why I had been so nervous, because I anticipated all sorts of difficulties which I would not be able to put to rights and which would end up costing me precious money. I guess I do have to trust in the competence of other people and happy endings. Let this be a lesson to me. 

I stripped my bed with Tyke's generous help and put clean sheets on it, which makes me look forward to getting into it tonight. I think Tyke looks forward to it also. I put the used sheets in the washing machine and am hoping to add some other laundry to it. I have to go around the apartment and look for some.

I cleaned up the kitchen, which always needs cleaning, and picked up the leaves of the ivy plant in the living room. I had given it too much water and nearly drowned it, and as a result it lost more than half of its leaves over a period of time. I am waiting for the soil to dry out and won't water it for a long time now. 

That's one thing I always do wrong. I always over water my plants. I'm good with outside plants, but I don't do well with indoor plants. I don't have a green thumb for them at all and don't have any feeling for it whatsoever. I've already nearly killed another plant and I'm waiting for it to come back to life. I think I should have fake plants, though I would probably try to water them too in a subconscious attempt to kill them.

That's when I succumbed to my need to take a nap and I turned up the thermostat and laid down on the sofa to sleep for a while, which turned into a long while. It took up most of my afternoon. 

Oh, now Tyke wants to play with me and the ball and I'm supposed to get it away from him. That's an endless exercise in frustration unless he decides to kindly let go. I'm just going to ignore him until he drops it beside me. I think that's the best method. 

Have a good evening!

Ciao,

Nora

 

A Poll

At the top of this blog you'll see a poll. It would please me tremendously if you would take part in it so I will know what the heck I should do. I have a general idea, but I want you to have a say in it too.

It's early in the morning and I'm sitting here with my usual cup of coffee and cigarettes. I forgot to shut off the heater last night, so it is nice and comfortable in here and I don't even need my bathrobe, yet, because I did turn down the thermostat when I got up. I can't believe I was such a wasteful person. Me, with my energy efficient light bulbs and my energy efficient bike. That I should leave the heater turned on! Tsk tsk!

When my personal helper was here yesterday, we took Tyke to the post office, the tobacconist and the pet shop where he, with my help, got to pick out a good toy. It's been a tremendous success so far. He's been doing nothing but chewing on it and taking breaks from exhaustion. It's a big old squeaky rabbit that's pretty tough. Now that I know how much he enjoys this, I'm going to take him to the pet shop soon again and have him pick out another toy. I didn't realize that it would please him so. I think that if I buy him enough interesting toys, he will forget about being destructive with my stuff.

I didn't have my usual domestic help yesterday and I don't know why not. Maybe she just had a day off and they forgot to tell me. The girl they sent instead was okay, but not nearly as thorough as my regular one, though she did do the dishes unasked for. She also cleaned the refrigerator, so I suppose I shouldn't complain. You do get used to people, though, and the way they do things, and the apartment seems cleaner when my regular help has been here. It smells better too.

I've gotten quite attached to both my domestic helpers and wouldn't want to miss them for anything in the world. I realize I've got the best of them after having had some others come here instead when they've had their days off or their vacations. Some of them are competent and some of them are not at all.

I had my spider plant sitting in a cubbyhole in the bookcase and then kind of forgot about it and it must have felt very neglected. Maybe it was also not getting enough light. I suddenly had a good look at it yesterday and saw that a lot of leaves had turned brown and limp. I took it to the kitchen and cut all those off and gave it a good soaking. Then I put it in a different place closer to the window and now I hope that it will perk up again.

I think I may have over watered another one of my plants, because it suddenly dropped a lot of its leaves, which is a sure sign. I'm going to have to take it out of its outer pot and let it sit in the kitchen sink and drain really well. Hopefully I haven't done permanent damage to it.

The plants that are doing really well are the ivies. They seem to be indestructible. They grow well and take a lot of water, or not if you forget. They've constantly got new little leaves on them and I'm going to have to cut them back when they get too big. They do give you a lot of satisfaction, because you have to invest so little for so much growth and they take relatively low light conditions too. I can definitely recommend them for those of you who don't have especially green indoor thumbs. Which I don't.

I just remembered that I have a load of washing in the machine that needs to be hung up on the drying rack. I think I will go do that now because there are some clothes in there that I want to wear soon. Then I'll go strip my bed and put clean sheets on it. My God, what's wrong with me, it's not even dawn yet.

Have a great day!

Ciao,
Nora

Stress-less.

I had so much anxiety that I was afraid to be alone with my own thoughts. Everywhere I looked, the black dog prowled around and I don't mean Tyke by that. I couldn't find any peace of mind. I finally took two tranquilizers and they have now started to work and I feel a bit calmer. I have also asked for my psychiatrist to call me, because I want to talk to him before I see him on Friday. I must get some help before that time if I'm to survive in one piece.

At the suggestion of someone very smart, I've asked the powers who are in charge to move my domestic help to another time and/or day, so that I will be able to go to my creative class on Monday afternoon. I had not even thought of that myself. It's a good thing that someone else out there was doing the thinking for me.

This morning I paid the bills and got my paperwork in order. I made up the packages to mail, but I didn't go to the post office. It was beyond me and I'm planning on doing it tomorrow morning. Going somewhere is a real chore. I have to build up a whole strategy around it. I can't just spontaneously walk out the door. Everything takes a lot of courage that I'm short of.

The smallest things are super complicated and I have to think the process through all the way to the end before I begin them, otherwise they are too intimidating. It can be something as simple as watering the plants. It seems like a very difficult chore and like it is too much responsibility for me. I could kill them by giving them too much or too little water, so I do nothing and put it off. I will get it done this afternoon and write it down in my agenda. I'm going to write down all my little achievements. It will make it look like I am still capable. Like I'm still worth something. It will make my agenda look full too.

I've just had a cup of coffee and it has straightened out my head. It's funny how I always need a cup of coffee to do that for me or I can't think straight. It makes such a difference. I make six cups in the morning, but I don't drink them all. I reheat a cup as I need it in the microwave. It's a little bitter, but it does the job and I take milk in it, so that softens the blow. I could never function without coffee and I don't know how people manage on tea alone. I would be very miserable on it. I would not do well at all.

The tranquilizers are working properly now and I'm not filled with anxiety anymore. I'm actually feeling relaxed, as far as that is possible. They do take a load of my mind and I should always feel this way. Life would be so much more manageable and easier to take and the black dog has retreated. He's now lurking in the foothills.

Suddenly things don't seem so overwhelming anymore and I think I can now water the plants without having a nervous breakdown. I think I can even hang up the laundry and make my bed. It's even possible that I will be able to read my book again, which I have not been able to do for a couple of days. That would be very nice. I've gotten more books in the mail and I now have all the books that I had ordered with the gift certificate that I got from my daughter. I have enough reading material anyway, so it's a shame when I don't have the concentration to read. I haven't even been able to watch television.

Tyke's having a lie down in the sunshine on the dining table and is watching the children get out of school. It's one of his favorite pastimes, because he does like children so very much. Every once in a while a dog also walks by on a leash and that really gets his attention, but he never barks, he just looks. I think he likes little dogs the most. They seem to really perk him up. He's just a friendly little guy and thinks the world is filled with equally friendly creatures.

Well, you've been witness to a metamorphosis. I've gone from anxious to calm. I think I will have one more cup of coffee and then get on with the chores. I have courage now, so I have to grab the bull by the proverbial horns.

Have a good rest of the day.

Ciao,
Nora

Things you lose...

I decided to go one the bathroom scale this morning, after not having gotten on it for quite some time. I expected not to have lost any weight at all, because I had not been trying really to lose any. I had been eating when I was hungry and drinking lots of milk when I was thirsty. Much to my surprise I had lost another 4 kilos, that is 8,8 lbs, and just to make sure, I got on the scale twice. It is very accurate and gave me the exact same weight the second time.

Now I am one kilo away from the weight the Obesitas Specialist said I should aim for, but I think I can lose some more weight. I'm not going to obsessively go on the scale to weigh myself all the time, though. I'll just keep eating and drinking the way I am and go on the scale occasionally, but it certainly is a nice way to start the day. It cheered me up tremendously and I needed cheering up.

I was grumpy and out of sorts when I woke up this morning. I had a runny nose and an irritating cough all night. I must have eaten something at the party that I'm allergic too. I tried all kinds of food, so I don't know what it was. Whatever I thought I could eat easily, I ate, including a wonderful paté and a piece of quiche. Needless to say, I'm itching in all the usual places now.

The party was fine. I had one glass of white wine and one beer. There were some people I knew there, so I was not completely out of my depth. I didn't stay too long and as I was leaving, the DJ was setting up the sound system. It must have gotten quite noisy after that. That was at 10:30 and I thought it was a good time to go. I'm not one for big crowds anyway and it was starting to be a big crowd. At least the weather was nice and a large amount of people were out on the patio.

I rode my bike home through the dark night and was a little bit worried about that and didn't dawdle. Nothing happened, of course, and there's no reason to think that anything would. Not in this neighborhood. It's just the idea of being a woman out there alone on your bike in the late evening. You always feel vulnerable.

Tyke was very happy to see me and got a good belly rub. He had found his lost tennis ball and was trying to keep track of two balls at the same time. It was very funny to watch him do it. One ball in his mouth and the other between his paws and that's how he moved around the living room.

I was pleased to walk into the living room and see the coffee table and the area rug and the new plants in their lime green pots. When I bought those, I had not realized that I already had three other lime green pots, so it was a fortunate purchase, done completely subconsciously. I must have zeroed in on that color in the flower shop without being aware of it.

The colors in the living room are going to be black and dark gray with touches of red and light green. Yellow will be eliminated. There is only one house plant in a yellow pot and I will change that today. The newly washed, yellow, fleece blanket will not be put back, nor will the yellow pillows. I've bought two pillows with lime green covers instead. Yellow will be banished to the bedroom.

It is overcast and dark outside and it's supposed to rain. It sure looks like it will. I don't mind because I'm nice and cozy inside. I will do a few chores and take it easy today. There will be no grand deeds from me. My nose is still runny and I hope that will disappear soon. Of course, smoking doesn't help that either. Tomorrow morning I quit and I'm looking forward to it. It will be a whole new challenge and one I'm cut out for. I'm not daunted by it, although maybe I should be.

Have a great day!

Ciao,
Nora

No fooling around now...

That pill that allows me to fall asleep only keeps me asleep for a few hours and then I'm wide awake again. It's not a real sleeping pill, which is good, because I've heard from people who take those that they are very groggy in the morning and that they suffer the consequences of them the next day. At least I don't have that. I am wide awake after it has worn off and any sleeping I do later, I do on my own. I may as well try and get off it and it is one of the things I will try to do soon. First I have to quit smoking.

The day went well yesterday. Everybody came and went and the Exfactor put the coffee table together without any trouble. It is very nice and solid. The area rug arrived while he was working on it, so we put it in place and then put the coffee table on top of it. The area rug is dark gray and the coffee table is black. It looks good and will look even better when the sofa is in place.

After the Exfactor left. I walked to the flower shop with Tyke and bought two large ivy plants in square, lime green pots. I put one on the coffee table along with a sculpture, so now Tyke can't jump on top of it. He's been foiled. He does like the rug very much and likes to lie down on it. It is soft and warm. I put the other ivy on the dining table, to pull the interior together. I do have to make sure that I always have a bouquet of flowers, because it cheers the place up so very much. I have to make a point of that.

I'm not hypomanic anymore. I came down to earth yesterday afternoon and now I am completely calm and sober minded. I hadn't realized that I was hypomanic until I stopped being it and then it became clear to me. I suspected it last week, but thought I was over it. It's a relief not to be it anymore, because I was outshouting myself. Making too much noise, having too many stars in my eyes. Now I'm down to a manageable level and I'm going at an easier pace. It's a more realistic state of mind to quit smoking in.

I like being this calm me. I am almost sedate. At least I'm more introspective and I like that. I'm not on the run for anything. The hypomanic me got a lot of things done, the calm me gets to enjoy them. I can be more objective like this and think about things in a more rational way, without high running emotions. I also feel that I can rest and be quiet and that everything will happen in its own good time. The last thing I want to do now is turn on the light therapy lamp. That will turn me back up.

My sister is giving a house warming party tonight and she has invited lots of people. If only half of them show up, it will be a full house. She'll have food and drinks and good company. I will make it a point not to drink too much wine. I do have to ride my bike home.

Have a good day!

Ciao,
Nora

Nothing like it...

There's nothing like a cold glass of milk when you're quenching your thirst, except that you then want a second and third one and I do have to draw the line somewhere, don't I? I'll run out of milk before it's shopping day if I don't. And it does make your body cold all over if you have more than one ice cold glass, which makes you want to put on your bathrobe for warmth. I just did that, because I couldn't resist temptation. The spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak.

I was asleep already, but was awakened by my neighbors a few houses down who are having a cocktail party in their back garden. There's a cacophony of laughing and shouting voices, no doubt helped along by some alcohol. I'll have to close my window when I go to sleep next or they will have stopped their party by that time. Maybe all the people will be driven inside by the cold. It's only 11C outside, after all. They must all be out there with jackets on. Maybe these are all the guests that smoke cigarettes. If so, there are many of them.

The day went by fine. I walked Tyke three times and all three times he acted like a runaway elephant from the circus. He hopped, skipped and jumped all over the place, he was that happy to be outside. He was 18 months old yesterday and still acts and looks like a puppy. He is endearing when you see him and everybody wants to pet him, especially old ladies.

I read my novel, which I now realize is a "feel good" novel. I'll finish it nevertheless, because it is interesting enough and I'm far enough into it to stop reading it. I do want to know how it ends, but it's not the sort of novel I would normally read. It's a little bit too simple for that. I like one with more darker aspects to it. In this one someone is either a good guy or a bad guy, and the good guys are really good. Unconditionally so. It seems a movie has been made of this book, but I don't know how well it did in the theaters.

I watched a program about Alma Mahler, the wife of Gustav Mahler, who married two Jews in a time when it was not so popular to and she made her escape with her second husband to California and later to New York. When she went back after the war to reclaim her property in Austria, she was asked by the judge why she as a nice Christian woman had married two Jewish men, at which point she left Austria and never returned. She composed music of her own, but gave it all up when she married Mahler, who could not stand a wife who also composed. He thought she had to live in service of him. Her second husband was more broadminded and gave her all sorts of room to develop herself. His name was Franz Werzel who wrote the book The Song of Bernadette. It was a promise he made if they were to escape the Nazis.

This program was part of the cultural programming that's on television on Saturdays, which is very rewarding and deals with art and literature and architecture. I do get my fill on Saturdays and so appreciate that. Especially since I get to do so very few cultural things myself. I do hunger for these things and am very curious about them. I took two classes in art history in California and I'm fascinated by the subject, so anything like it is fine with me, but I also like modern art, although it doesn't always make sense to me and expressionism gives me a headache. And that's not even modern anymore. I like Karel Appel very much. His are very happy and lively paintings with lots of primary colors. They are like bursts of energy. If I could paint like that, I would be very happy.

For some reason, there are sports commentaries on talk radio on the weekends and I'm not too thrilled about that. I'd rather listen to something more interesting than a rehash on some football game that was played that afternoon. I suppose on the weekends sports are all that count, at least at the time that I go to bed and want to listen to the radio. I fall asleep anyway, because it's so darn boring, but I'd rather listen to a subject that I really care about and that is somewhat enriching to my intellect. Last night there was a piece on about a very good gymnast who had been caught using cocaine and I say, that's plain stupid, but why waste 30 minutes on it, as it happened some time ago. I'm sure we're not all going to run out and use cocaine now unless we're warned off by the example. Sometimes the public is thought to be simple.

Sundays are a day of rest, but I'm going to change my bed and do a load of laundry. I'm also washing the fleece blankets that I have on the sofa and armchair. The yellow and red one. I also have to remember to water the plants again. The spider plant is taking quite a beating from the animals. They both want to chew on it. For some reason it is a very fascinating plant to them with its spiky leaves. They chew all the babies off. I'll have to get another less attractive plant to put on the dining table and move this one to a less vulnerable spot, wherever that is. Somewhere safe from Gandhi, on the bookcase probably. She can't get in there and it will be safe from Tyke too. It will give the spider plant a proper chance to grow like it should and become abundant.

I had to stop using my light therapy lamp, as it was making me hypomanic, or had I already mentioned that? It seems that when you use it when you're not depressed, this happens. I went up and up and up and then came down with a crash and then returned to normal, but I haven't used the lamp since. I didn't realize that could happen and used it as a preventive measure, which turned out to be not a good idea. You only should use it when you're really depressed and not when you think you may become so down the line. I suppose I'm still getting enough hours of daylight for this not to be the case. It's not nice to fool mother nature. Another lesson learned.

I need to make an appointment to get my hair cut as it is now becoming unmanageable. It's too long to brush it into the proper shape and I look funny. I also ran out of hairspray and now I can't do a thing with it because it is fly away hair. If I sleep on it wrong it sticks out in a funky direction. I thought about letting it grow, but I don't like that awkward in between stage and I would rather have it cut short again. Besides, I need the pampering that a visit to the hair salon brings with it. I'm looking forward to it. I deserve it. I am woman hear me roar...

I've been wearing my multi colored floral dress, but I think I will change into my burgundy colored India cotton dress with pockets today. I have a nice silky scarf that goes with it. I can make myself happy in anticipation about which clothes I'm going to wear. It is a treat to myself, even if I don't share it with anybody else. I do it for my own satisfaction and to look good when I walk Tyke. I am a city woman, after all. I can't walk around in grungy clothes. I dress up always, even for unimportant things. Besides, I don't have grungy clothes. I don't have old clothes to wear for dirty jobs either. I just don't do dirty jobs.

It's in the very wee hours of the morning now, optimistically speaking. There's some time to go until dawn. I think the neighbors' party is over, it's quiet out there now and I did hear a bunch of people leave some time ago. Tyke's sound asleep in the armchair and Gandhi is asleep on the sofa. I've got to clean the kitchen up a little bit and I'll do that before I go to bed again. I'm not sleepy, but for the heck of it I'll go back to bed. A person does have to be sensible and I did just now yawn.

I hope you all have a nice day.

Ciao,
Nora

Hurray, Saturday!

What could be a better day than Saturday? It's the most perfect day of the week. It's a day to celebrate, no matter how quietly and sedately, in my own particular way. I love the fact that the day stretches out ahead of me with no obligations and no appointments and no chores to do. It is an absolutely free day in which I can do, or not do, whatever I want. I can completely indulge myself and that's exactly what I intent to do. The best part is that I will have no feelings of guilt about this. That's it, guilt free living and enjoying it. Isn't that great? Every day of the week ought to be like that. It would be like living in paradise. I think that's how it was supposed to be. I have to find a way to always do this and still achieve the things I have to do. Be responsible and yet feel free and not under constant pressure to achieve. There's got to be a way to do that. It's all in the mindset I'm sure.

I went to bed at a reasonable time, because I could not stay up later for want of sleep. I postponed it as long as I could, but finally had to go to bed because I was so tired. I did read my book for awhile, but was soon sound asleep. It was so comfortable in my bed and I couldn't think of a better place to be. I have this particular duvet cover that's very nice to sleep under and I'm always glad when it's on my bed. It's really one for cooler weather and it's exceptionally cozy and smooth to the touch. Last night was a perfect night for it, because it was cooler and I had the window open. I'm sure it helps me sleep better and I'd like to get another one like it. I'll have to make a trip to Ikea. I think that's where I got it.

It's nice to be up again and I have the Bright Light Energy Lamp on as I write this. I will have it on every morning as I sit behind the computer from now on until the springtime. I didn't do this last year and I think it was a big mistake and I can't really give a good explanation for why I didn't use it. It was definitely an error in my thinking.

I've made a pot of coffee and it tastes great. I've got the amount of ground coffee right and each pot turns out well. I had to get used to the taste as opposed to the Senseo coffee, but that happened soon enough. I like this coffee now and it really is no hardship to make a pot. It is done quick enough and I hardly have to wait at all. The coffee cups stay cleaner too. The Senseo coffee always left behind a scummy layer in the cups that was hard to wash out. I don't have that problem now. I can rinse out my cup and have it clean and reuse it again. It saves on the dishes. That's always a big motivating factor for me.

I had so much energy yesterday morning, that I had gotten a bunch of chores done before it was even 8 o'clock. I surprised myself. I took a break and watched the news and decided to save the dishes until my personal helper got here so that we would have something to do together. I'm taking care of a lot of things independently of her now and I hardly need her help, but we are already making plans for this winter when possibly things may get more difficult. I'm entitled to 6 hours worth of help during the week and it may come in handy if I need it. I'm doing everything I can to prevent a depression from happening, but I don't know how much I am in command of that. Time will tell. It's good to know that I have back up if I need it. Last winter was very bad and I'm going to do everything I can to prevent that from happening again.

I had forgotten to water my plants and they were very droopy. I felt so bad for neglecting them. I hadn't watered them in more than 2 weeks. It had completely slipped my mind. When I realized that, I very quickly watered all of them and prayed that they would recuperate. At first nothing happened and they all looked as bad as they did before and I thought I had been too late, but this morning they all looked perked up and strong again, so I guess I got lucky and they are okay. They were completely dried out, though, and I must make sure that doesn't happen again. I can only have very forgiving plants. I don't take care well enough of them to have demanding plants. They would die immediately. The plants that I have can go without water for 10 days, but that's the maximum. I'm not a very good plant owner. It's all a hit and run business. I do take better care of Gandhi and Tyke and don't forget to feed and water them.

I did the laundry early yesterday morning and was hanging it up to dry in no time. I had washed some of my clothes along with the sheets and am glad that I don't have to iron any of them, although there are some clothes in the ironing basket that I still have to iron, but those are clothes that I will be wearing this fall. That job can be postponed until it is inevitable. So far I am still mostly wearing my summer clothes with the odd cardigan on top. It hasn't really been all that cold yet. A jacket has been sufficient to wear outside, inside the apartment it is still warm enough to go with bare arms. It just doesn't seem to cool off in here.

In the last couple of days we've had as much rain as normally falls in a whole month. It's all part of the climate change and the experts warn that we have to count on this happening more often in the summertime. Large amounts of rain will come down from the sky in a short amount of time. This will happen along with periods of extreme heat as we had in July. It is said that September will bring better weather. Maybe we will have an Indian summer. It will be nice if it's true. I didn't like the heat in July and was very uncomfortable because it was so humid. I don't care for too much heat when it's humid. I don't deal with it well at all. I wouldn't do well in the tropics. I am used to the heat in California, which was dry and bearable. Even in the desert it was not as awful up to a point, as long as you stayed out of the direct sunlight and were close to a swimming pool and the nights were wonderful. There were so many stars visible in the sky that it felt as though the heavens were going to fall down on you.

I've had three cups of coffee and I think that's quite enough. That's how many I made. I will switch to fruit juice next to quench my thirst. I'm sitting here in my bathrobe and I feel a slight draft by my bare feet. My toes are cold. It is only 10C outside, so that is quite chilly. That's the coldest it has been so far. It is only going to be 17C today and rain is predicted, but I won't pay too much attention to that because it never gets as bad here as is forecast. It will be a treat to walk Tyke in the cold air. I wonder if he will get chilled with his short haircut? He doesn't have much to warm him, but maybe he's a tough dog.

I'm off to enjoy my Saturday. I will find interesting things to do and keep myself out of trouble. Maybe today would be a good day to do the ironing after all. It would be a useful way to fill up some time and I would know that I had gotten that done and that I was ready for the fall. I am also curious as to how those clothes fit me.

Have a good day and enjoy your weekend. It is still August, so it's still officially summer no matter what impression the weather gives.

Ciao,
Nora

Later in the day...

Very early in the morning I took a shower and fixed my hair into a punk style hairdo with a lot of hairspray. I picked out my clothes for the day. Several layers to be nice and warm and one of them was the long sleeved flowered dress that I hadn't worn for a long time. It fit me great and I wore a black sweater over it with a very low cut V-neck so the dress showed up well.

It was a good thing I wore several layers and my leather jacket, because when I took Tyke out at 6 am for his walk, it was cold outside and my scarf was not a luxury item. We made a longer walk and enjoyed the peace and quiet of the early morning. Hardly anyone was out there but a little traffic and some newspaper delivery people. We didn't meet one other dog and his owner.

Tyke likes this walk, because it takes us past the white horse in his meadow and Tyke is fascinated and scared of it at the same time. We always stop and look at it and usually the horse walks up to the fence to greet Tyke. Tyke is very weary of him and to hide his fear he ends up barking at him, at which point we promptly leave so as not to wake up the whole neighborhood. It's quite a bit of excitement.

Then we reach a stretch of grass where everybody must walk their dog, because I can't get Tyke away from there and he pulls at the leash if I try to move him from a particular interesting spot and there are many spots like it. It's a battle that eventually I win by persistence. You wouldn't think that a 13 kilo dog had so much strength in him.

When we got home, I turned on the computer because I had to order some new bras because of my weight loss. I had become less endowed. This doesn't bother me, but I do want to fit well in my bras. It looks ridiculous if they are too big. I found the right ones in the right size and I also found a set of two sundresses in two different prints for a good price and ordered those as well. I can wear cardigans and leggings with them, or sweaters on top. I ordered them in a smaller size than the rest of my clothes are, figuring I am ready for that. My other clothes are getting too big.

Then I laid down on the sofa and took a little nap. Just for an hour to get over the worst of my momentary dip. That's all I needed and when I woke up I was completely over it again. I felt fine and did some chores. Mostly decluttering the kitchen and the living room and taking care of the trash.

Then Toby managed to knock over a dining chair and it knocked over the plant stand which caused the plant to fall on the floor. The plant landed upside down and the pot broke. I said, "Bravo, Toby, you did a good job. Encore!" I swept up the shards and the dirt and found a different pot to put the plant in. Luckily I had one and this one won't break because it's made of aluminum. The plant doesn't look too bad and I think it's going to be okay. It did make me realize that I had over watered it and that I need to let it dry out, so it was good for something.

The personal helper got here and she had gotten a haircut which made her look a lot younger. I told her so and I must say that a good haircut can do wonders. We sat and talked for a while about how the week had gone and then took Tyke for a long walk through the next neighborhood. Tyke and I walk quickly, I realized, and she had a hard time keeping up. It wasn't warm outside, so it was pleasant to go for a walk and I could have gone much further than the 50 minutes that we walked, but we weren't wearing the right shoes for it. We'll go for an hour the next time.

Shortly after she left, the Exfactor got here. I was watching Germany play Serbia in the World Cup and it was an interesting game. We watched it while we talked, because we're not that fanatic. We didn't miss any of the exciting parts, besides, there were repeats immediately. There were many yellow cards and one red one, all deserved. Serbia won. Germany didn't start to play well until the second half when Serbia defended very well. Tomorrow The Netherlands play Japan in the afternoon. I will be watching and commentating.

I made a deal with my personal helper that I would clean out some of the dresser drawers and organize my photographs that are in there somewhere. Most likely I will be doing that this weekend. I'm looking for the last photographs I have of my son. I was going to show them to her today, but couldn't find them because the drawers are so unorganized. That's terrible. I must get some order into them. I will get a trash bag and throw away everything that is obsolete and useless. I will show no mercy.

It isn't cold in the apartment, but it feels as though it is. I still have the windows open at the top, but there's not much of a draft. Still, my feet are cold and I should put on some warm socks. There are kids playing outside without their jackets on and I wonder if they are confused or if I am. I could have sworn it wasn't warm enough.

Alright, I will see if I can catch the latest political news anywhere. Attempts at coalition forming are still going on and it's starting to look very interesting. We may become much less right oriented than was originally feared.

Have a good rest of the day.

Ciao,
Nora

Half a night...

I've only slept half a night and have been up for an hour now, but already the earliest birds are singing their song. It's incredible, because there are 45 minutes to go until it starts to get light. They sound as cheerful as anything and very uplifting. It makes you completely ready to face the day. Actually, it makes me want to go out and walk Tyke, but it's way to early for that yet. It does make you feel very much alive and full of good intentions. I have to try and capture this feeling and not let it go.

Of course, the sun comes up early in June and goes down late. When I go to bed at night, it is still light outside. I fall asleep, regardless. Of course, it's my intention to wake up when the sun has come up again, but it doesn't always work out that way. I did try to go back to sleep, but Tyke decided it was time to get up and jumped on the bed after I had been up to go to the toilet. He practically laid down on top of me and washed my face with his tongue. That was a good way to wake up completely.

It's been a nice and peaceful weekend so far. Saturday went by as if it was already Sunday and it was a complete day of rest. I putzed around a little bit, but didn't really get that much accomplished. There was no real need to either. Today I will wash the dishes and change my bed and do a load of laundry and dust and sweep if I have to. I will do the most necessary things to have the apartment in good shape for when the domestic help gets here tomorrow. Then she can do the harder work, such as cleaning the bedroom windows and the woodwork.

Friday was a busy day here. Everybody came and went and I was glad when I reached the end of the day and I had the apartment to myself again. After you've had a busy week, it's nice to have a peaceful weekend. In every body's opinion, the living room looks much better with the furniture the way it is arranged now and I can only concur. I like it better too. I think for the domestic help it is easier to clean, because things are arranged much more logically now and it easier to drag the vacuum cleaner through it. It's more spacious.

Because I have so much sun in the afternoon on the living room windows. and ordinary plants don't do well there as a rule, I was thinking about buying geraniums and placing them on the windowsills there. I had geraniums in boxes outside in California and they did well in the sunlight. I want some blossoming plants and could only think of geraniums as hardy enough to take the heat. I don't know if geraniums have any scent, but it would be nice if they did. That would be a bonus. I'm thinking about getting red ones, because I have several red items in my living room. I will go to the flower shop next week and see what's available.

It's light out now, but overcast. Rain has been predicted for today, but it hadn't looked like it would come this far south. A little mistake from the meteorologists. I don't mind the rain really, as long as it doesn't come down in massive amounts. It's quite cozy other than that. It does allow you to wear some clothes and I'm all for that. You can wear your leggings without feeling that you're overdressed. And maybe even your boots, not to mention a nice scarf.

I've just made myself a second cup of coffee, so I have to finish that before I take Tyke out. I had a glass of milk also. It was thirst quenching. I have old fashioned candies on my desk. I eat them sparingly, but a few every day. These are called butter wafers and they taste delicious. I like to take two at the time and make them last as long as possible. Tyke would like to take them out of my mouth, he's so eager to get them too, but I won't give him any. I can just see him choke on one.

Have a really good Sunday.

Ciao,
Nora

More sleep!

I slept 10 hours last night. I know I keep mentioning how much I've slept, but it's still a big deal to me. I've gone from being an insomniac to being a sound sleeper and it is really a pleasure. When I wake up in the morning, It is always a bit of a suspenseful moment to see how much I've slept, because I can't tell by the way the light enters the bedroom through the blinds.

Yesterday was a pleasurable day. In the first place I just enjoyed the newly arranged living room and I can't tell you what a difference that made. The furniture was made to sit in this place as it is all in balance now and looks so much less cluttered. It is a pleasure to keep it clean and that's what I did yesterday. I dusted a lot of things and picked up little clusters of dog hair, because even Tyke is losing a bit of hair now. Not nearly the amount that Jesker used to lose, though. Tyke doesn't even come close and that's a blessing.

We walked to the flower shop and I bought two new plants, a spider plant, also called a zebra plant, and a creeping peperonia, which I had never heard of. Both plants come with care instructions and the man in the shop said to only water them once every ten days. I'll have to check the soil regularly and make sure they don't dry out. When I came home, I realized I should have bought one more plant to replace one that is barely hanging in there, so that means one more trip to the flower shop. Tyke enjoyed the walk very much, because it took us through a couple of streets that he had not been on before. There was much sniffing and leg lifting.

I put the spider plant on the dining table and Gandhi proceeded to eat the tips of the leaves as if it were grass. It didn't make her sick, so I assume it isn't a poisonous plant. I was very grateful to her for disfiguring my plant. Not.


In my effort to clean up the living room, I made a bit of a mess of the dining table with odds and ends I picked up and I have to set that to rights today. There's a cabinet I have to clean out, but I'm not really in the mood for it, because I don't know what to do with the stuff that's in it. It's a frustrating job. Things get shoved in there as well as they fit at a peril. Sometimes I have too much junk and I'm not proud of it. I'm all for decluttering as much as possible. There's this cabinet and a chest of drawers that need to be decluttered. I'm thinking large trash bags, but I've been thinking that for awhile and haven't got around to it yet. So you see, I'm putting off the unpleasant jobs. Don't we all, though? Far be it from me to be perfect.


It promises to be another beautiful day, though not too hot, but pleasantly warm. The sun has been shining non stop, but there's a cool breeze blowing. It makes you undecided if you need long or short sleeves, though optimists will say short sleeves. I get cold easily since I've lost my insulating layers and need a cardigan quickly, especially inside where it stays cool for a long time. I have to go see my psychiatrist this afternoon on my bike and will probably wear a jacket because of the wind. I also have to stop by the pharmacy and the tobacco shop, but they are on the way.


I'm going to change my clothes before I go, because I'm in the mood for something totally different. It's so nice that my clothes are so easily accessible now. All I have to do is take one quick look in the closet and see immediately what the possibilities are. Right now I like to wear summer dresses best with leggings underneath them. I feel very free and easy with them on. I've stopped wearing my boots, because the weather's too nice for them now, though some women still wear theirs. It's really whatever you feel like. There are no rules.


I'm going to wear my short black and gray summer dress and my gray Turkish pants and black sandals. I'll have to find a necklace or a light scarf to go with it. I can get excited about putting together an outfit and getting dressed. It's one of the little joys in life that counts for so much. That and having your hair turn out well when you fix it in the morning.


When your life consists of enjoying small pleasures, each one is important. It makes the awareness of the bigger calamities more bearable, because you can't be blind about what goes on in the world, yet you need to arm yourself against it somehow by being a sane human being.


We stand a chance of being governed soon by a coalition led by the Liberal Democrats, which to me is a disaster and I can't believe the possibility exists. I shudder in horror and hope a lot of people come to their senses before they vote. The country is going to be taking a bad turn if it happens, yet people are going to be voting for them driven by their fears. And that is only a close to home story. Worse things than this happen.


Well, after that happy announcement, I've got to get the show on the road. Chores await me. There's always something to do. I do want to relax a little bit, though, in having to be so organized. I can't become compulsive. It does have to remain enjoyable.


Ciao,
Nora

The first cup of coffee...

I'm still working on my first mug of coffee, but it is a big one this time. My sister brought it with her all the way from Japan and I guess they like big mugs there also, at least for the tourist trade. I'm going to have a mug of cold milk after this, because I've had enough coffee to fill me for awhile. There is such a thing as overdoing it and as I said before, my taste for coffee is waning and i don't drink nearly as much as I used to.

The other day I had a cup of English tea without sugar and it didn't make me cough, so it is the sugar in the tea that makes me do that, So no more tea with sugar for me. I was offered Earl Grey, but I never developed a taste for that. I like Irish breakfast the most, although I know there is another more official name for that melange. Unfortunately, the labels on my two jars of tea have faded and now I don't know which is which anymore. One is Irish breakfast, but which one? And what is in the other one? Maybe the taste will tell me.

I've been up for awhile after a very nice sleep on the bed together with Tyke who has decided to stop demolishing things. Maybe he is outgrowing this phase. I fell asleep almost instantly when I laid down and closed my eyes. I always think that I will give myself half an hour to fall asleep, otherwise I will get up, but I'm always asleep way before that. It's nice to give yourself a deadline like that, though. Then you don't have to lie awake worrying about whether or not you will get up. It takes the pressure off. If I were to get up, I would start the going to bed ritual all over again, even if it would take me a few hours, but I've not had to do it yet. I suppose in a way I do it when I get up early in the morning and sit behind the computer with my coffee and get tired again after awhile and go back to bed for some more sleep, but nothing is set in concrete and I can do as I please.

For some mysterious reason, my rubber plant has died. It started to droop and the leaves died and shriveled one by one and now it's just a poor old thing sitting there and I need to throw it out. It lasted about 4 years, which is not bad, but it was thriving and then suddenly gave up the ghost. I have to buy 3 new plants to replace the ones that are either dead or doing poorly. This is not the year of my green thumb. It's a trade off, something else good will happen instead. That's my philosophy anyway. I'm going to try and save one plant by putting it in a different spot. It may make a comeback. It's not beyond hope yet.

Well, that's all the gossip I had for this morning. I just had to turn up the heater because I'm cold. I need to live in a warm country and I was a fool to leave California.

Have a nice day, all of you.

Ciao,

Nora

Rambling...

I cleaned up the dining table. There were about 6 stacks of envelopes and magazines and other assorted bits of paper laying there and I looked through all of them and made a decision about each item. Do I pay it, file it, save it for later or chuck it? Faster than I would have guessed, I was all done and I even had time to fill in a long consumer questionnaire with the cute little pencil that the company had provided. I stuck it in the envelope that needed no stamp and will mail it when I walk Tyke next. Maybe I will get a nice assortment of products like I did the last time I filled in a questionnaire. That was really my motivation, you know! I like freebies.

I am now looking at my sofa cushions and realize that I need to take the covers off all of them and put them in the washing machine and run them through a good 40 degree cycle. That will freshen them up a bit. It is a job I will do tomorrow I think, because it's too late in the afternoon to do it now. I get my brilliant ideas too late in the day, which makes me wonder where the yellow fleece blanket is. I must have chucked it in the laundry basket already.

This morning I was bent over petting the dog when a drop of blood fell on him and I realized that I was spontaneously having a nose bleed. Luckily, I had a paper towel handy and held that to my nose immediately and pinched it until it stopped bleeding. It must be because I had that cold and my nose got tender from it. I have no other explanation.

I switched four plants around in the living room and changed the pots of some of them too. The prayer plant was dying because I had over watered it. I took it out of the pot it was in, because I could never check the water level well, and put it in an enamel bowl on the plant stand. I put the fig plant where the prayer plant used to be and took off the dead leaves and saw where there were new leaves growing. I put the plant with the dainty leaves, that used to be on the plant stand, in a big pot and placed it on the coffee table where there is a lot of room for it. I cut off all the straggly ends. Then I took one of the philodendrons and moved it from the little cabinet to the dresser where the fig plant used to be. Neither one of the philodendrons is doing well and I really need to go to the flower shop and buy two new plants.

I dusted the dining table, but after I moved all those plants, I realized that I needed to dust everywhere, but I'm out of Pledge and I want to buy a new can of it and dust properly. I love the way it smells and picks up dust and makes things shine. You don't get that with a damp cloth. So Pledge is on my shopping list.

Because Tyke is always looking out the living room windows, they are completely smudged by his wet nose. I will have to get the window cleaner out and clean those portions of the windows. It will be a never ending job, but I can get it from becoming completely out of hand. I probably should just do it once a day as a rule.

Alright, that's enough rambling. I'm going to do laundry now. It's about time that somebody does. It's piled high in the basket. I would check all the pockets if I knew there was a chance of finding money. I will only find dog poop baggies and tissues.

Ciao,
Nora

Where's my energy?

I just scrubbed the kitchen counter with scouring powder and dusted two tables and I'm completely worn out. I was planning on doing more jobs, but I don't have the energy. I have to sit down for a while until I move onto the next job and it can't be a big one, because I won't last that long. I'll water the plants next and hang up the laundry. I'm really tired, though. It feels as if I've done a lot of work. I'm not that old, for God's sake. I feel like I'm coming down with something and my body won't co-operate. I'll have to do my work in little chunks and stop when I can't do anymore. I'm not even going to try to vacuum, I'll sweep instead. It's such a bother to drag that vacuum cleaner around and sweeping doesn't require as much energy. So I tell myself.

I was supposed to have gone grocery shopping with my sister today, but when she called I was still in my pajamas and not yet in a frame of mind to go out, so I will go on Wednesday, as I think I can make my supplies last that long. I just have to be careful that I make the milk last, as I don't like the artificial creamer in my coffee. It has a...well, artificial taste. Still, it's better than drinking my coffee black.

I've just watered the plants and it was high time too, as some of them were quite dry and I hope they forgive me and don't decide to die on me. I can't hang up the laundry yet, because the washing machine isn't done. It fakes me out, because I think I don't hear anything, but it's just sitting there between movements, humming quietly to itself. I don't think I'm going to be able to hang the laundry outside. It would take forever to get dry. As it is, I have three loads to do and only one rack to dry them on and one load fits on the rack exactly and takes at least a day to dry. I'll be doing laundry for the rest of the week, unless I can figure out a way to get it dry quicker. I could turn up the heat higher, but that's a wasteful way to get the laundry dry. It's too bad that I don't have a wood stove to heat the apartment with. I could get it real warm in here.

My dog thinks he's all done going out for the day and has settled down on his blanket like he is never going to move again. He wanted to go out at 4 o'clock, so I took him for a walk, but I think he's confused and thinks that's it. He's going to have to go out one more time, though. I'll have to convince him to go go with me later in the evening. He's down to eating 400 grams of food and that is enough for him. I have been buying him the Bonzo meals and he likes them very much. He never dawdles when he eats those. Now that the snow and ice are gone, we will be able to take longer walks and I think he will enjoy that. As long as it's not too cold I don't mind being out there.

I have to go to the hairdresser, because I can't do a thing with my hair. All it wants to do is stick up in the wrong direction and it is too long to get it to lay down flat in the right way. It is a pain in the neck and needs to be cut short. I don't realize how quickly my hair grows and how long it has been since I've been to have it cut and before I know it, it has lost its shape and it doesn't look like anything at all. I will call tomorrow and make an appointment. I also have to call the doctor to make an appointment about those nodules on my throat. I think I had better not postpone that anymore now, because I has been several months and they are getting bigger. I also have to take Toby to the vet, because he's sneezing again and he needs a shot of antibiotics. Oh, ho hum. Just what I like to do. Going out...

I have hung up the laundry and put the next load in the machine. I have also put the dishes in the sink to soak and will wash those as soon as I am done writing this. There weren't really that many, especially not after I washed and dried the porridge bowls separately. There are mostly coffee cups and juice glasses and teaspoons. I need to wash the dog's bowls separately, but they need a good soak and a scrub.

Ah, the dog's come back to life. Maybe he will want to go out now. He's doing an awful lot of stretching and yawning. First I need to do the dishes and then I'll take him out. A little bit of fresh air will do me good as well, especially now that I don't have to worry about breaking my neck. I realize now that I really felt like a prisoner with all that snow and ice. It's like being let out of jail now that it's all gone. I sure didn't appreciate that. I hope no more comes our way. I wouldn't like it one bit. I would curse it and move to a warmer climate.

Have a nice evening.

Ciao,
Nora

On little sleep...

I seem to do well on little sleep today. After I wrote my post very early this morning, I did all the dishes and dried them and put them away and cleaned up the kitchen. Then I cleaned up the living room and swept that floor and the kitchen floor. I changed the cat litter box and put down new newspaper under it for those accidents that are bound to happen. I dusted also, but I see I have to do it again, because of floating around dog and cat hair. That's what happens when you have black furniture. I watered the plants and threw away the dead roses and then I washed my hair and put in the henna based conditioner and let it sit in my hair for 5 minutes so it would really pick up the color. After all of that, I had breakfast and went to bed for two hours and slept.

When I got up I had a leisurely cup of coffee and a cigarette or two and then got dressed and walked the dog. After that it was time to go to my SPN and I walked over the icy sidewalks to get there and it took me 25 minutes without breaking my neck. It was very treacherous. My SPN and I had cappuccinos which we only do on very special occasions. Normally we drink regular coffee or tea, but sometimes she sneaks in a special treat. We're working on my agoraphobia and it's going to take a few sessions.

On the way home I bought some cards for the card swap and I stopped by the tobacconist for my supply of tobacco. When I finally made it home, my face was so cold that I had trouble speaking and I had a runny nose. I made myself a hot cup of coffee and thawed out. Then I went to my sister who I hadn't seen since she had come back from Italy and we had cappuccinos and looked at all the photos she took and she told me with great enthusiasm about the art exhibitions she had been to in Milan. She had bought another mug for me and I'm getting quite a nice collection now. We're going grocery shopping first thing tomorrow morning when the store opens at 8 am. She sent me home with homemade pea soup.

When I got home I opened all the mail and none of it was bad, so that was a relief. I made a little stack of the important things and put the rest with the recyclable paper stack. Then I turned on the computer and answered all my emails and that is what I have been doing ever since. I do have a small ache in the middle of my back, but that's from sitting here too long in the wrong position, so I'm making it a point to sit properly now. I wish I had a harness to tie me to the chair so I would not start to slump.

In a little while I'm going to eat and then I'm going to put my pajamas on and go to bed. It's been a long enough day for me and I'm ready for it to end. I've got a good book and a cozy bedroom. I've forgotten to take the Christmas decorations off the lighted branches, so in the bedroom it is still festive. I wonder when I'll get around to doing that?

Okay people, this was just a short report on my day. As you can see, it went well, considering I had so little sleep. Maybe I'll do that again tonight. Hunger forces me to end this post now.

Have a great evening.

Ciao,
Nora

Post # 605

Don't you all just love my new template? I'm quite fond of it myself. I see myself as that frog, sitting there so comfortable with my arms folded over each other. I saw it and I knew that was it for me. That was the perfect Green Stone Woman image. I also like the colors and the layout. I didn't have to change a thing about it. Let me know if any of you have any problems with it. I'll see what I can do about it. The frog is staying, though.

I slept 4 1/2 hours last night and I feel like I've caught up on some off my lack of sleep. I was awfully tired when I went to bed last night and I hardly remember getting in bed and going to sleep. I don't even know if I read my book, though I woke up with the indentations of my reading glasses on my nose. I always love that when it happens, because it makes me look slightly Oriental.

I don't know about you, or if it's my age, but I always have night sweats and wake up with my T-shirt drenched and the sheet all wet. I'm assuming it is menopause, although I always think I must be way beyond that now. Maybe some women have it over longer periods of time. If anybody else has this, please let me know.

I have an appointment with my SPN this morning and she'll be happy to no longer see me depressed. I don't know what I am instead, but I'm not depressed. We're supposed to fill in those forms for the help in the household that I already got in the mail the other day and that I must not forget to bring. Other than that, my day is free and I want to get a lot of housework done. There's the laundry and the mopping of the floors and my bedroom to clean up. The inevitable dusting that goes on endlessly and shouldn't even be mentioned. I think the vacuum cleaner is plugged up again, so I'll have to take it apart and unplug it. I vacuumed up an awful lot of dog hair the other day when I was so industriously changing the living room around.

I'm still happy with the result, but I need more house plants. I need a potted palm, but I don't know if I have the right spot for it. I always assume they need a lot of light and I don't know if the spot I have in mind gets enough of that. I'm tempted to buy a ficus, but I have such bad luck with them. Except for the one that grew in my backyard in California. It grew to be a real tree that my son used to climb in.

Oh, I really feel like going back to bed and sleeping some more. I'm not nearly wide awake enough yet to get the show on the road. I'm suddenly hit with a great tiredness. All I want to do is go lie down and sleep. I think that's what I'll go do now.

Ciao,
Nora

Life is but a dream...

After having been up for thirty something hours, I finally took a nap a while ago and slept for about two hours and now I feel awfully refreshed and after one cup of coffee, I have come to my senses and I am ready to go again. As a matter of fact, that cup of coffee tasted so great, I think I will have one more, then I'll switch to green tea with lemon. I bought that especially at the supermarket the other day for nights like this when I would be perky and wide awake and wanted something good to drink. I forgot all about it yesterday when I was so busy being productive and moving furniture around.

Speaking of that, when I came home from creative therapy today, I realized that my paintings didn't match my interior at all. As a matter of fact, they clashed badly and I had to take them down immediately and hang something else up. So, I hung up my paintings in my bedroom, where they fit in a lot better and I hung one really good framed movie poster from the bedroom in the living room. That left two empty spaces and by rearranging some things, and adding here and there, I filled those up too until I was happy with the results. I did find out in which walls I can and can not hammer a nail. It's extremely frustrating when you find out you need a drill and you have to use the screw that's already in there, which determines what you can hang up there. If it's too large, for example, you may cover up a light switch.

Also, when I came home, I discovered that a cat had been having a field day with the scarf, that I had used as a runner on the dining table, and the potted plant. The scarf was all bunched up and there were little leaves all over the place and when I asked who was the culprit, Toby looked the most guilty. Anyway, I cleaned it all up and took the scarf off the table as being not a good idea. I don't need those kinds of headaches and I could see it happening repeatedly. I have to animal proof the apartment as much as possible. If it looks too good to be true, it is.

Then I decided that I didn't like the vase with the twinkly branches and the Christmas decorations on the dresser at all and I moved it to the bedroom, where it looks a lot nicer and very romantic. That left an empty space on the dresser, so I put the fig plant there, but I had to cut off some of the lower leaves that had spread out too far. The fig plant had been covering up a mildewy spot on the wall, so tomorrow I need to get the paint out and paint over it and hope it takes. I may do that tonight, as a matter of fact. I think what I have is anti mildew paint, or something like that.

I didn't clean up the kitchen early this morning, I forgot what I did instead. Anyway, I got to do that happy job this afternoon and I broke two glasses while doing the dishes and I wasn't being rough in particular. I noticed it because I cut myself and found not one, but two broken glasses. Now I have to go to the cheap store to buy some new ones, because I don't have that many left. There's no excuse not to go anymore now. It's my fate to go to that store. I do hope they have some decent ones, though. I have the feeling that the last ones I bought did break very easily. Maybe I won't go to the cheapest store, but to the decent store and buy the glasses there instead. I'll be more sure of the quality. I've also got to buy some Christmas cards, because although I said I wasn't sending any this year, I have been getting cards already and I am going to be sending cards in return. It would be awfully sad if I didn't do that. I do so like receiving them and then I do want to send them as well.

There was a layer of frost on all the cars this morning and all the drivers were out scraping ice off their windows. That's why the heater finally went on. I've turned it down a notch to 19.5C so it doesn't turn on as quickly. I don't want to make the energy company happy. I'd rather wear an extra sweater. The sun was out all day, though, and it was nice outside. Cold but nice. If you wear a scarf and gloves, you are okay on your bike. There is no wind and that is the most important thing.

I made a George Clooney collage this morning. I found some good photographs of him and cut them out and added some other interesting things to it and some text. Boy, George Clooney is cute and he gets better looking as he gets older, just like Sean Connery. He's a regular hunk. I'd fall for him easily, except that he wouldn't fall for me. A man like that can have his pick of perfect babes. You'd have to share him with the world. Anyway, I hope the collage turns into something decent. I'm not done with it yet, it needs the final touches.If it turns out well, I'll take a picture of it and post it.

I'm amazingly tired. It just hit me. I think I will go to bed on time tonight. I want to stay up and do interesting things, but I don't know if my body will co-operate. I think it doesn't want to. It wants to go to sleep.

I'm not very happy with my current template. I don't think it's very special at all. I had imagined that it would look more spectacular. It's not nearly as breathtaking as I thought it was going to be. I will have to pick out another template. Isn't that a shame? I know you all hate this very much. I do it to give you all a hard time and to keep you on your toes. Never a dull moment.

I have said enough for tonight. I will save the rest for tomorrow when I'm awake again.

I hope you all have a good night's sleep or whatever it is you're having. Be good at it!

Ciao,
Nora

Time to go to bed....

After having changed the living room around, and having posted the photographs of it here, I find myself full of piss and vinegar and nor nearly ready to go to sleep. Firstly, because it is so nice to sit in a rearranged living room. Secondly, because I put a long blue scarf as a runner on the dining table and every time I look at it, I'm startled by the effect. Thirdly, because I put the vase with lighted branches on the dresser and hung christmas balls and other decorations in it, so now it's festive here. I also realized that the computer desk needs to be moved to where the black and white chair is now, and the chair needs to be moved to where the desk is now. Some cable needs to be laid for that and I need the expertise of the Exfactor for that. So I will have to wait for his broken collar bone to heal.

The cats liked me moving the furniture around and immediately started climbing on top of everything. Cats always like that kind of stuff, they like to be right in the middle of things and then claim all the new territory as quickly as possible. The dog was also right there and barely moved out of the way for the vacuum cleaner, but he reluctantly did if he had to. He was trying to hang on to his sleeping spot, but I had to move his blanket and for a while it didn't have a place anywhere, leaving him stranded. I finally folded it over double and put it beside the bookcase where he is sound asleep now. I think I will put another blanket under it to make it even more comfortable for him to sleep on. I do have to consider his aging bones that want as soft as possible a place to lay on.

Now that I've moved the furniture, it's really obvious that the walls need to be painted, but that is going to be such a big job that I'm going to wait until I'm physically very fit. Or if I keep being as fit as I have been today, because today I can imagine painting the walls and it doesn't seem like an unsurmountable job. The hardest part is going to be to move the bookcase away from the wall. It is heavy even if I take all the books out of it and very tough to manhandle. I want the walls to be a sand color and I can already imagine what they are going to look like. I also want to get brighter color blinds for the living room windows. The ones I have now are burgundy colored and I want red. Yes, and money still doesn't grow on trees, especially not at this time of the year.

I got a nice gift from Babaloo. She gave me the book The Last Girls from Lee Smith, which is a book I really wanted. I seem to be blessed with people who send me kind gifts. You don't know how much that means to me. It makes me feel ever so special. Lee Smith is a new writer for me. She is a Southern writer from the States and writes about small town America there. I'm looking forward to reading that book very much. I will spend much time on my newly positioned sofa reading good novels. Thanks, Babaloo!

I trimmed one of my plants that lost a lot of its leaves. I have it sitting on the dining table and it was trailing all over the place looking scraggly, so I took the scissors and gave it a haircut in the hopes that it will fill out well and look bushier and fuller in a short amount of time, and I'm going to keep trimming the trailing ends to keep it compact. I'm hoping to turn it into a healthy plant again. I think I can do it, as the other plant has perked up and is looking better already. I've also watered my prayer plant, as I discovered it was dry and moved it to a spot closer to the window and it too has perked up quite a bit. It seems to appreciate daylight a lot more than the somewhat dark spot I had it sitting in. Plants do appreciate the little things you do for them. I've moved my rubber plant, but I don't know if it's going to like where it is now, away from the window. I can only try and hope for the best, if not, invest in a plant that will take low light conditions.

I was just sitting here looking around and I decided to move the big scratching post from the corner of the living room, because the cats never use it, and to hang one of my paintings in that corner. So I did and got a light that I clamped on to the bookcase and pointed to the painting and now I have a nice bright corner there. Then I took two more of my paintings and hung those up in the living room too instead of two smaller things that were hanging there. I had to very softly hammer two little nails into the wall for one of them, so as not to wake the neighbors, but I was successful. I must say that it all looks quite nice. It is very gratifying to have your own art hanging around, no matter how simplistic it is. Of course, what I really want is the collages framed and hung up, but I have to buy the frames for those. That will please me to no end. But this is nice too. Another brilliant idea, if I may say so myself.

If I sit here long enough, I'm sure to have more ideas. Now that my evil little mind is at work it is not going to leave me alone and keep scheming and planning, except that it is the wrong time of the night to be doing these kinds of things. Darn, isn't it a shame that there is such a thing as bedtime? Just when you're having all your good ideas. I just went to have a look in the kitchen closet where the modem for the computer is and I think there is enough extra cable for me to move the computer to the other side of the room. Aha! Isn't that interesting? I may not even need the Exfactor. I may be able to do this job by myself. This requires careful investigation.

It would be really funny if I managed to do all of this on my own. It would be the total liberation of myself as a woman. First I would have to make a little drawing of where all the plugs go in the back of the computer. That would be simple. But the first thing I have to do is trace the proper cable to it's source and trace the other cables that are coming out of the modem also. One would be for the television and one for the telephone and one for the computer. That ought to be easy to figure out. I love it when I think logically.

Okay people, I'm about to go do a big experiment. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Hopefully everything will go well.

Ciao,
Nora