Encore un fois...

I'm following my usual 'get up in the middle of the night' routine and have just made myself some coffee to get the last few remnants of sleep out of my system. Not that there are that many there. I'm pretty perky as usual and could do my whole administration and not make any mistakes. I want to do something far more pleasant that that, however, and write down my thoughts and musings on no particular subject at all. That means that I'll probably touch on many bases.

I read a lot yesterday and finished another book. I have now read A Virtuous Woman and Ellen Foster, both novels by Kaye Gibbons. She is a good writer with a unique voice and she writes with an intensity that makes you want to finish her novels in one fell swoop. That's not hard to do since they aren't big and you can finish one in just a few hours. They are very concise and to the point, but tell a whole big story with enough detail so you don't feel shortchanged one bit. You like her characters, though they are not at all perfect people, and you want things to end well for them, though there are not necessarily happy endings.

I am now reading Don't let's Go To The Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller. It's a very well written autobiography about her childhood in Rhodesia. The war for independence seen from a white farmer child's point of view. It's extremely interesting. I love the title and it alone intrigues, but I like books about white settlers in Africa and what their experiences were there. Another book I really like about that subject is The Grass Is Singing by Doris Lessing. It's a sad story, but written with a lot of compassion.

I think I will be reading When We Were Orphans next, by Kazuo Ishiguro. He's the same author who also wrote The Remains Of The Day. He was born in Japan, but has lived in England since he was 5 years old. The story plays in Shanghai and England in the 1930's, before WWII, and is of mystery and nostalgia and memories that go back to before that time. I loved The Remains Of The Day, so I'm looking forward to this book in particular.

I find that reading is one way to forget about smoking. I become so involved with whatever novel I'm reading that I forget all about cigarettes. I find it easier to get involved with a book and the storyline, maybe because I'm not distracted by my smoking. Maybe smoking is bad for your attention span and you lose your train of thought. Anything is possible.

Not smoking has certainly simplified my life. I can simply sit down wherever I want without having to arrange to have my cigarettes and ashtray and lighter there. I can just sit down without all the paraphernalia and get up again and move to another spot without a problem. I'm unencumbered. There's a freedom in that. All I need is my peppermints and something to drink, though that has gotten less too and I don't drink nearly the large amount of fluids that I used to. I'm not as thirsty and I think that is because I don't smoke. I guess it dehydrated me.

I have not started eating more to compensate for the lack of cigarettes. I think that's because I'm not going through nicotine withdrawal. I eat the same portions of food that I normally do. I'm definitely not planning on gaining any weight. That's not part of the program, especially not since I lost 9 kilos this year, or maybe more, I don't remember. If anything, I'm planning on continuing to lose weight, although I hope that the peppermints I eat don't hinder that.

The Exfactor was here yesterday to do the groceries. I had him pick me up some chunky liverwurst, because, despite my misgivings about the meat industry, I did have some worries about getting enough protein in my diet. I thought the liverwurst would be easy to eat for me, because I did so well with the paté at my sister's party. Well, it turns out that I don't like the chunks in chunky liverwurst. They remind me too much of meat and where the meat came from. I guess I like my meat products to be in unrecognizable form and not in anyway to remind me of the animal, especially if it's a cold meat product. My imagination works overtime. The Exfactor is now going to go to the Lidl close to his house and buy a few patés and see if I like those better. I'm sure I will and I look forward to him bringing those over on Thursday.

Ostensibly, he's coming over to look at my sofa, but I think he just wants an excuse to come over, because he likes coming here. My sofa is going to be delivered this morning between 8:45 and 11:00, so there will be no sleeping late for me if I desire to go back to bed. I think I will stay up and read and watch the nightly repeat of the news. I never did get to watch the news last night and feel hopelessly uninformed.

Tyke seems to be cured of what was ailing him, so those antibiotics worked quickly. I'm sure it was that shot that set him right. He gets a pill once a day wrapped up in a slice of luncheon meat and he likes that so much that I'm sure he'd like it for the rest of his life, three times a day. Gandhi gets a slice to, but she's a finicky eater and doesn't finish all of hers. That leaves the rest for Tyke and he's no picky eater. Gandhi takes little bites of her slice of meat and takes forever to finish half of it. Tyke gulps his down in one fell swoop. he doesn't even take time to chew properly. That's why it is so easy to hide the pill in it. I guess that's a blessing then. You can't do that with a cat.

I'm planning on finishing that autobiography tonight. I will sit in my armchair and do nothing but read. Hopefully I will have it finished by the morning. I will make that my goal for this night. It will not be to sleep, but to read. I can always sleep. There are enough quiet moments to go lie down and from this morning on there will even be a sofa again.

I have to go see my psychiatrist this afternoon and I'm sure he will be pleased that I've quit smoking and am still sane. It is a miracle isn't it? I never thought I would be this calm. I thought I was going to be much more of a frantic person. I suppose I am very determined. I'm aiming for a 100% success rate on all fronts.

I have to get rid of that nasty little cough. If I still have it next week, I'm going to the doctor to ask him for an antibiotic, because maybe it's a bit of chronic bronchitis, which wouldn't surprise me after all that smoking. I never paid attention to it before and just accepted it as a smoker's cough, but that's ridiculous, of course. You should never accept things like that. Not even subconsciously.

It's raining outside and 16C, so it's not real cold. It's supposed to clear up later today, but not get much warmer. There's to be partial sun and clouds. That doesn't sound too bad. Sunrise will be at 7:15 am. That's late. It's staying darker longer all the time.

I hope you will all have a nice morning.

Ciao,

Nora