I was going to very self indulgently write a post with no other purpose than to make myself feel good. It's not that I didn't already feel that way. I just wanted to prolong the feeling as much as possible and inflate it as much as I could. I suppose I wanted to inflate my ego to huge proportions. I wouldn't have been able to fit through the door when I was done.
I don't know why I had this desire. I had not analyzed myself and I was not about to. I just took it as a given that I had it, although you could say that I really needed a moral boost now that I think of it. The minute I said that I wouldn't analyze myself, my mind automatically started to and I couldn't stop it. I immediately became contemplative and wanted an explanation. I suppose I do have a Freudian streak in me.
I also knew that I couldn't get away with inflating my ego simply for the sake of making myself feel better. I'd have to do a more sophisticated job than that. I couldn't pull the wool over my own eyes, much as I would have liked to.
I woke up feeling pretty full of myself and darn near invincible. I felt that I could take on the world. It seemed that whatever I did and said was exactly the right thing and that I could make no mistake.
That's all very well if you have no censor inside yourself to call a halt to your own exuberant self or if you choose to ignore that person. I'm not so fortunate and can't go on announcing that I'm the emperor without having a good hard look at myself.
I'm somewhat deflated now down to the proper size. I was getting carried away and it is better this way. I fit inside my own skin again. I have no grandiose notions left.
That doesn't mean I'm down in the dumps now. It isn't as bad as all that. I do still feel good about myself. I'm just more realistic now and having a good honest look.
I went on the bathroom scale when I got up and saw that I had to lose three kilos. That weight did sneak up when I overindulged in vanilla pudding last week. I suppose I won't be putting that on the shopping list anymore for quite a while. I don't like the stomach I've got right now. It's kind of round and not very becoming. That's one area that needs improvement.
That's just cosmetically. I'll have that fixed in no time.
It's what's on the inside that counts and for the most part I'm not unhappy with that as it could be so much worse. I am seeing the glass half full. Whatever wrench gets thrown into the works, I manage to extract and get things working again.
I'm managing to drink small glasses of mild orange juice without upsetting my stomach. I think that's a real victory. I thought I'd never be able to do that again and took the chance when I put the juice on the shopping list.
You see, it's the little things that count.
Have a good day all of you.