Tuesday, July 01, 2014

So, what's next?

I have started eating very uncomplicated food in smaller portions because that is what my stomach likes better. It wouldn't surprise if there was something wrong with it or my esophagus. Maybe I have metastases there as well, or maybe that is even where the primary tumor is. I will know on Thursday when I will get the results of the PET scan that was made this morning. I know nothing about it at this point, although everyone keeps asking me about it. The radiologist did not sit and discuss it with me afterwards!

The first thing I did when I came home, was make a pot of coffee because I was dying for a cup (no pun intended). I was not really hungry until much later and tried to eat two small wheat rolls with ham and cheese, but my eyes turned out to be bigger than my stomach and I had to give one roll to Tyke, cut up in bite sized pieces. He sure as heck was happy with that. I figured that he deserved something special too. So much is going on here lately and it is a lot to deal with for him too. 

Tomorrow the Cowboy is coming back from Rome and we all will be happy to see him, including Tyke. It feels like he has been gone for ages and I have missed him and his helping hands. Tyke will be thrilled because the Cowboy has become his real buddy and Tyke loves him as much as he loves me. 

It is now very quiet here after a very busy day of people coming and going. I did manage to take a one hour nap in the afternoon and find that I need more and more of them as I physically don't last as well as I used to. I am not that physically active now, but I do wear out quickly. I am also losing weight, but I have not been on the bathroom scale in a while. I will do that in the morning if I remember to. 

I suppose you could call this another one of those happy moments that I regularly have and they usually happen when everyone is gone and I am on my own with the animals and all is peaceful and quiet. If I were religious, I guess you could say that I was with God and maybe I am with my higher being now and that is where the sense of tranquility comes from. Maybe I do know God after all. It is here.


Gail said...

I am glad you are at peace with yourself. For a long time this was difficult I know.

Maybe God comes when we are ready.

Maybe the news will be wonderful. If not you will be able to deal with it. You have a wonderful support system around you including a wonderful dog and cat.

Rob-bear said...

Oh, dear, Irene. The waiting is so difficult. I hope tomorrow's news doesn't send you into a panic! Glad the Cowboy is there for you.

Blessings and Bear hugs!

VioletSky said...

You will likely have many ups and downs but I hope you can find that inner peace when you need it. I'm so glad you are not alone.

Wisewebwoman said...

It sounds like you have balance Irene. Glad to hear you are in peace and acceptance. A long time coming but it is for all of us.

Healing thoughts and special hugs.


Maggie May said...

You did well to get the PET scan done so soon.
I had to travel 25 miles to another town to get mine done and that didn't show my primary, either.

Glad you are at peace within yourself. Sometimes it's like being in the eye of a storm and you are being protected from harm.
Let yourself go with it.
Hoping for the very best outcome.
Maggie x

Nuts in May