I've got my shoes...

...and I think that I will be wearing them a lot as long as I'm not wearing a dress on a regular basis. I don't seem to do that very much anymore hooked as I am on skinny jeans. I'll have to wait and see what the weather is going to do in the near future. If it is going to get any warmer and make it necessary for me to wear different clothes or if it's going to stay chilly and rainy like it has been.

Anyway, the walking shoes arrived and I put them on and they fit perfectly. Thank goodness that I'm such an average size by Dutch standards. Usually things fit me just fine. These shoes are great. It is like walking on air cushions. The only problem with them is that my feet do get very warm in them and my feet aren't used to being warm. They are usually on the cold side and that's more comfortable for me.

It may have to do with the fact that these shoes are weather proof and contain a special lining. This means they will be very nice to wear in the wintertime but I wonder how they will be when the weather is hot? I probably won't wear any socks. Maybe that will help.

On another subject, this depression I am fighting is a mean sun of a gun. I have to literally struggle it to the ground and arm wrestle it for position. This one is so evil that I can't give it any space and I don't want to give it any ground to move around on. I will defeat it and I'm not going to give it an inch. I will be more stubborn than it.

At least I got a good start to the day. I woke up early but the sun was already shining in a bright blue sky so the first few hours of my day were pleasant. The first thing I did when I got up was to open the curtains in the living room so I wouldn't have to turn on any lights. Things cheered up immediately and my first cup of coffee tasted good too. The dog slept late so I didn't have to take him out right away.

I can face the first few hours of the day. It's the hours between the morning and the evening that are the hardest. They are when I struggle and I have to try and get through them in the best possible way. Sometimes that is very difficult. Today the Exfactor and the domestic help were here so that helped some.

Now it's almost evening and the day is coming to an end. I am no longer discouraged but see the sense of being alive again for just a little while. It will last long enough until it's time to go to bed. I just imagine my soul standing up very straight and being very powerful and resilient. It's bending in the storm, not breaking. It has to be strong  and flexible enough to withstand any kind of force.

If there was ever a time to believe in myself, then this is it. I hope I have the faith to do that.

Ciao,
Irene

In the morning, bright and sunny...

I am sitting here with my first cup of coffee and a cigarette and I'm more than ready to start the day. I am up bright and sunny, but I don't think the day is actually going to be. It is now cloudy and gray outside and it is supposed to stay that way. I'm not going to let that press my good mood and I'm totally going to ignore it. I will have a fine day no matter what the weather is going to be like. That's the kind of mood I'm in.

I was up earlier during the night but I never did get around to writing a post. I was too busy on Pinterest because I had redivided some boards and of course I had to add new pins to them. That kept me out of trouble for a while. I had a wonderful time pretending I could make all my wishes come true. It's like being a little girl and making your wish list for Santa Claus and sometimes these things come true. 

I've cut down even more on my tranquilizers and am now down to only one dose of 10 mg at night. These were strong ones and they worked great when I was highstrung but they made me very sleepy when I was not. That resulted in me always wanting to take naps during the day and I hope I won't feel that need now. I started taking them when I got so grumpy when I quit smoking the first time. 

It's always best to get off these kinds of medications as quickly as possible but it can take a while before you are able to. You have to choose the right moment and you have to have the wilpower to do it. You actually have to be stubborn enough and damn well make up your mind you're going to. Nobody else can make you do it. Don't rely on anyone else. 

I jusr stepped outside when the dog had to go out back and it is nice and chilly out there. There's a cold wind blowing and it felt good. All the trees and shrubs are green and it looks wonderful. It does give you hope for better weather, but this is okay with me too. I'll just have to dress a little warmer when I take the dog for a walk in a while. I'm looking forward to it. It will be nice to feel the cold air on my face. 

I don't have much else to report. I've finished my coffee and want to get dressed. I'm eager to get the day started. The Exfactor should be here this morning to finish putting the dresser together. It will be nice to see it all done. Then I can finish decorating the guest room. 

First I'm off to take the dog out for a walk in the cold morning air.

Ciao,

Irene

Imagination...

Since I've quit smoking, I have the most incredible dreams. They could be whole epic movies in technicolor with special sound effects. They are so interesting. Even if I take just a nap, I dream. I can't describe them. They are too special and outer wordly for that. Believe me if I say that they make quite an impression. I would not have the words to do them justice. 

Today is day seven of my not smoking. I'm doing well. It's turning out not to be nearly the struggle that I thought it was going to be. That does not mean it is easy, of course. I do need a certain amount of willpower or in my case you should call it stubbornness. I'll be darned if I'm going to light up a cigarette. 

I can't anyway because I don't have any handy. I would have to go to my neighbor and beg for one and I'm not about to do that. Besides, if you smoke one cigarette, it would be like having to quit all over again. There's no such thing as an innocent cigarette.

For as much inmagination as I have during my sleep, that's how little I have while I'm awake. At least when it comes to writing a blog post. I've tried to write one several times over the last couple of days, but each one came to naught. I just did not have it in my to write an interesting one. I don't think that this one is going to be the exception. 

Maybe that also has to do with the fact that I've quit smoking. I know that I'm super critical of what I write and that I find it hard to set my imagination free. Apparently I have to be asleep before I can do that. 

The dog wants to go for a walk and I will take him. It relieves me from having to think of another thing to write about. It's quite cold outside and I will have to dress warm. It's freezing.

Ciao,

Nora

It's hardly surprising...

I made the coffee not so very strong, necessitating me to drink more of it to get the equal effect. I actually like the taste of it better this way, although I always claim to like a strong cup of coffee. I guess it really isn't so and I'll have to remember that the next time I make a pot of coffee. I do always have to learn my lesson the hard way. I hope I can always manage to put less ground coffee in the filter.

I will enjoy my cup of coffee better and it will not be such an onslaught to my stomach which is protesting less. I'm sure a cup of strong and bitter coffee is not what it wants. But I am like a donkey who kicks the same stone twice and it will be a learning process that I will stubbornly go through until I get it right. Remind me not to brag about the punch the coffee carries and what a kick it gives me. It will be because I'm on the wrong track. 

I also have to remember not to dawdle and put my bathrobe on right away instead of sitting here in my pajamas getting cold. It's like that doesn't register immediately and I wonder why I am so uncomfortable. Once I do put my bathrobe on, I'm immediately aware of the difference and I chastise myself for not having had the sense to do it right away. It makes me wonder how well I really function when I first get up in the middle of the night. 

I think I'm not as logical as I could be and have to wait for it to slowly catch up with me as the coffee starts working. I'm only a ghost of the potential me when I first get up, although I'm never in a bad mood. I'm just a bit slow witted and function below par. I really shouldn't make any big decisions in the first twenty minutes, although I'm happy to say that none are expected of me. 

I'm fine now and warmly enveloped in my bathrobe. I have socks on my feet and couldn't be more comfortable. My brain is functioning and I couldn't think straighter. I could do any sort of task now. It's a pleasure to be up knowing that I will go back to bed again shortly and finish sleeping. It's the simple things in life that make it worth living and sleeping well is one of them. I always do that best early in the morning.

Getting up the second time is a little bit harder. My body and mind do protest a bit more. It takes me a while longer to get my act together. I give myself an hour to sit in my armchair and become a semblance of a human being. I'm actually one before that time, but I like to start out slowly and to gather up my bravery to face the day. That is always a bit harder than facing the silence and darkness of the night. Looking presentable and walking the dog are big chores in the morning. They are not to be taken on lightly. 

The dog is snoring on the sofa, but he will follow me back to bed. The cat is already there waiting for us. 

Today will be lovely weather and that's something to look forward to. The sun will be shining all day.

I hope you'll all have a great day.

Ciao,

Nora

 

Getting started again...

It's always a bit tough to get started up again after I've woken up from a nap. I try to do it without drinking a cup of coffee, but it's impossible. I need at least two of them to get back to normal. 

I don't know why I'm so stubborn at first to think I can do without. I blame it on temporary brain failure. It's only when I hit total bottom that I realize I have to do something about it and make a pot of coffee.

I'm nearly alright now. I'm working on my second cup. 

For a while there it was touch and go and I knew I shouldn't write anything because it might have come out very wrong. Luckily, I do have an internal censor who keeps me from making major blunders. 

My eyes have gotten used to the glasses, even to the correction for the astigmatism. I miss them now when I don't have them on, like when I wake up from a nap.  

I see these words on the screen ever so much better.

I've gotten used to how I look with them on too and I think my haircut matches them very well. I should remember to put in some earrings so I will look more feminine. I look a little butch right now. 

I am wearing a mini skirt today along with some pretty leggings that I bought yesterday. Nobody can mistake me for a boy. Besides, I do have some feminine curves despite all the weight that I lost. And I do still have breasts.

I took the dog for a long walk this afternoon, but I can't say that it was much of a pleasure. He dawdled most of the time and I had to literally pull him along. He thought there were items of interest under every fallen leaf and there were a lot of them. 

As we walked, showers of leaves fell on us and this was while the sun was shining on us too because it was a nice day. I was dressed too warm in my leather jacket. Just a cardigan would have sufficed. 

I've got to take the dog for a walk now and it's already dark outside. It's tough when duty calls you out into the night, but at least it isn't cold. 

Have a good evening all of you.

Ciao,

Nora

In the middle of the night...

I have become incredibly dull in the middle of the night since I've stopped taking the tranquilizers before I go to sleep. I no longer have the emotional highs that helped me write, what I thought, were interesting blog posts. Nor do I get an enormous kick out of caffeine anymore. It helps me think, but it doesn't help me think of anything brilliant. 

I'm thrown back on myself and have to use my own imagination. Unfortunately, that seems to be lacking a lot. I sit here for a long time during the night and try to think of things to write about and find it hard to come up with stuff that's the least bit fascinating. There's no bottomless well to dip into, there 's just a very shallow puddle. And it gets muddy. 

I don't mind sitting here in the middle of the night wasting time behind the computer. That's about as pleasant as it can get. I do mind writing dull posts. In my stubbornness I'm determined to do something about it, but I wonder if I'm even capable of it. I worry that I don't have an original thought left in my head or that I'm so inhibited that I'm incapable of expressing it. 

Well, that's enough philosophizing and I'll get down to the regular business of daily life. That's maybe worth a mention also, although nothing earth shattering happened. It does help you keep both feet on the ground and that's not a bad thing either. It's always good to stay in touch with Mother Earth. 

Yesterday was a pleasant enough day. The weather was beautiful, so there was nothing wrong with that. It truly was like an Indian Summer out there and will be for the rest of the week. That's thrown a wrench in the works for me because I was ready for colder weather and warmer clothes and my winter coat. I did like the crispness in the air we had been having and the cool wind that had been blowing. 

The nights are clear and starry skied, although not as much as on that painting by Vincent van Gogh.  I wonder what wonderful sky he saw when he painted that and what sort of a state of mind he found himself in? 

I dutifully walked the dog when it was time and did my chores. There weren't that many because I had taken care of most of them during the week. It is a nice thing to find yourself caught up on everything. The most important thing was to change the bed so I would have a clean one to take my afternoon nap in. And to do the laundry, of course. 

I made a pan of tomato soup with vermicelli for dinner and shared some with the dog who licked his bowl very clean. It was very good and filling and satisfied my longing for something hearty. I really felt like eating two pork chops but since I'm a vegetarian that's not possible. I just meant to tell you that this vegetarian sometimes longs for meat. Sometimes I would like a T-bone steak with ketchup. 

Since there was nothing much exciting on TV, I went to bed early and got cozy under the duvet. Saturday night is not the most interesting time to watch television. There's light entertainment on. Taggart doesn't come on until after midnight and that's too late for me.

I hope you all have an enjoyable Sunday.

Ciao,

Nora

On an overcast afternoon...

As has become routine by now, I have just woken up from a nap and am imbibing in some caffeine to get the most out of my precarious mood that I always seem to have on such occasions. I will be right as rain in the shortest amount of time, all it's going to take is some more coffee. I know that always works, I can pretty much count on it, but I'm drinking a cup of warmed up coffee and that won't do. 

I have to make a fresh pot and open a new package of ground coffee. That's always the frustrating part that I don't look forward to. You're supposed to be able to open the package without the aid of scissors  and I always do my very best to achieve this, but it requires some dexterity and muscle power. I don't want to be defeated, though, and stubbornly keep trying and not reach for the scissors that are right there in the kitchen drawer. 

Eventually I do manage, but I dislike the job and wish for someone else to do it. Since there is no one else here, I have to, much to my frustration. If I were a manufacturer, I would design a user friendly package to pack my ground coffee in, although that would probably add to the price of the product. Oh well, nothing in life is free. Except frustration. 

You can tell that I'm a 21st century woman because my level of frustration is very low and I like everything done very easily and conveniently. If I were a designer, I would always be looking for the most simple way to do things. The most user friendly and least frustrating way.  I would want objects to cause the least amount of hassle.

I have to clean up the kitchen and hang up a load of laundry to dry. The dog destroyed a stick in the living room and I have to pick up the pieces from that.  He doesn't have opposable thumbs so he can't do it himself. That's his excuse anyway. 

My infected earlobe is healing. It's almost back to normal. I put Fucidin ointment on it twice a day and that helps it very much. The swelling has gone down quite a bit. I don't think I will be wearing earrings for a while and I will be decorating myself in other ways for the coming future. I've been wearing lightweight scarves and they've done nicely. Of course, the weather has been perfect for them. 

It rained just a while ago, but now it's stopped and the dog is sitting in front of the window looking longingly outside. I think I will take him for a walk while it is dry. The sun is even out every now and then. 

Have a nice Sunday. 

Ciao,

Nora

It takes a while...

It's taken me four cups of coffee to become somewhat cohesive, but even now I could go back to bed and immediately fall asleep again. I will do so shortly when I'm done being a stubborn woman. I can only sit here with my eyes falling shut for so long.

There's no evidence this morning of the cold I was developing yesterday.  I took an aspirin with codeine for the symptoms during the night and that seems to have taken care of it. I feel a lot better at any rate. 

Since I have no personal helper coming here anymore on Wednesdays early in the morning, I can do as I please and take it easy. I don't have to be dressed and ready in a short time. I'm relieved about this and glad that I can schedule my morning as I see fit. The rest of the day is mine to do with as I wish too. 

I just took my medicines and should be feeling fit as a fiddle in no time.What little I take does still does its job, of course. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow when we will assess how everything is going and make a decision about the next reduction. 

I thought I was feeling mentally low yesterday, but it was really due to the cold that I was developing. I was not feeling well physically. I notice the difference between today and yesterday now that I'm feeling physically better.

I'm having a glass of cold milk now. It's settling in my stomach very well. It's always the most soothing thing I can drink. I think that's why I'm so hooked on it and it is filling too. I love it first thing in the morning after I've had my coffee to wake up with. 

I'm going back to bed now and sleep for a few more hours. It will be a true pleasure. 

Have a nice day!

Ciao,

Nora

Falling down hard...

At 10:30 this morning I went to the gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes and I have been smoking them ever since. I am going to smoke every cigarette until they're all gone and then I'm going to quit all over again. A terrible desire to smoke came over me and I couldn't contain myself any longer. I wasn't looking forward to the day and had not slept well. I was worried about coping and couldn't imagine the day without a cigarette. I could have just had two or three, but now that I have them, I want all of them. It seems like they are the most precious things I've ever had. They are so neat and pretty in their rectangular pack. I'm in trouble, aren't I?

I will assume that this is just an episode I'm going through, like a drunk falling off the wagon. I'll get back on the wagon as soon as I can. As soon as all these cigarettes are gone anyway, because I'm enjoying them too much. I'm not courageous enough to flush them down the toilet. Not yet, anyway.

I didn't sleep well and at first didn't even go to bed. I sat in my armchair with my book and fell asleep there. I woke up a few hours later and turned on the computer. I should have gone straight to bed, but I don't seem to be thinking clearly these last 24 hours. I did make it to bed eventually, but I didn't sleep long enough and now my schedule is all messed up.

I think my increasingly bad mood has to do with the fact that I'm smoking and I just flushed the rest of my cigarettes down the toilet. I'm sure that the poisonous chemicals are not good for my state of mind. On top of that I was awfully disappointed with myself and I didn't like my own behavior. I would only dislike myself more if I kept on smoking. I tore the cigarettes in pieces and threw them in the toilet bowl. There, that's it. I need to be able to feel proud of myself and like my behavior. I know I can live without smoking. I just have to continue to do it. Come hell or high water.

It's not been a good weekend to tell you the truth. I've been out of sorts and I don't know how much stopping smoking has to do with it. In reality I think smoking does my mood no good and I think it is just an illusion for me to think that it does. I actually feel better when I don't smoke. It's the habit of smoking that I miss and the instant gratification, but in the long term I don't think it helps me be in a good mood at all.

But still, I do miss smoking and having to think of other ways to fill my time and keeping myself occupied and having to direct my restless hands and mind along other paths not previously taken. I would be a liar if I said that was not true. What I must try to do is keep my life simplified and not add stress to it by not getting enough sleep and upsetting my schedule and doing things that I normally would not do. I need to keep myself focused on each individual moment and not anticipate so much and try to look into the unforeseen future and worry, which is what I was starting to do.

I have to try, while I quit smoking, to live from moment to moment and not make things so difficult for myself. I have a tendency to want to complicate my life when it shouldn't be necessary that I do, or when it is even silly to, and I must break that bad habit. I do have to cut myself some slack and go easy on myself. There's no reason to prove that I can jump through hoops. I will once again return to this moment, right now, and be present in the reality of my life and see the simplicity of it. I've made it uncomplicated for a reason.

I'm glad and relieved that I threw those cigarettes away. I was worried about having to smoke the whole pack. I thought that's what I wanted, but I was not comfortable with the idea. It bothered me that I was so willful.

I'm going to read my book now, or better yet, take a nap. I think that will be nice. It will settle my mind and I will be in a better mood to go celebrate my nephew's 16th birthday later today.

Ciao,
Nora

Sleep indeed...

I slept all night last night, just like an ordinary person, I swear to God. It was an amazing experience after not having done so for about a week. I went to bed at a decent time and woke up at a decent time after having had a few significant dreams that I was rather pleased with. Dreams that normally have lots of frustration in them, but that now had satisfying endings. They point me emotionally in a whole new direction and remind me of some of my rights and desires and my own power as a human being. It is possible to swim and not drown in life's complications. It may even turn out to be a warm tropical sea in which you will float. I don't mean to speak in mysteries, but they are realities to me.

I woke up with some time to spare before I had to go to my SPN. I drank coffee and answered my emails. Then I got dressed and walked Tyke. We met a woman with two French bulldogs and much sniffing and snorting went on before all the dogs were happy. The bulldogs snorted, of course, with their flattened noses. Tyke likes these encounters very much and is as happy as a toddler in the zoo. He just can't get enough of it and I literally have to pull him away with all my might. He longingly looks back at his departing friends and really wants to follow them home.

My SPN pointed out to me, that my grievances may actually be real and that I should not just dismiss them as being a product of the absence of enough medication in my system, although she did say that this possibly aggravates it. We looked at one situation in particular and found that it had a real basis and that it was not something I imagined to be true. I do have a real grievance, it is based on something and I have every right to be upset about it and to want to correct it. It's just how I go about it that makes the difference. That's the important part. I feel that I have to be very careful about that and not burn any bridges behind me and I think I could easily have done that yesterday, because my tone would have been very accusatory and nasty. I can't have that. I do want to stay rational and calm. It's the best way to achieve what I want.

The Exfactor was supposed to be here and I just called him to find out where he was and he told me he's not going to be here until tomorrow morning. I'm slightly p*ssed off about this, because I would have waited in vain and he would not have called me. Besides, I think it's rude to say you're going to be here and then decide not to show up. I did count on it and have been waiting since 11 am when I rushed home from my appointment. I think he does insist on leeway a little too much.

I've walked Tyke again and he was his same predictable stubborn self who insisted on being ornery in all the same places. I can pinpoint ahead of time where that is going to be and I'm waiting for him to get over it. Sooner or later he must catch on to the fact that I'm not going to give in to him and that we are not going in that direction and that we are going to move on and that we aren't going to walk around those trees. He did finally get his way and ate the bread that the ducks didn't eat and he acted like it was something incredibly special. Like I had starved him for days. He's got a very tough life here.

The day has been mostly sunny, although there are clouds in the sky and it isn't all that warm. We are just pretending it's warm and everybody is out with bare arms and bare legs, even the mailman. Let it not be said that we aren't optimists. It would be nice to sit out on a cafe terrace now and have a cold beer, though a glass of white wine would do nicely too. You do need someone to sit with, though, and the only person I can think of is my friend Yvonne. Everybody else is unavailable. My sister is in Italy and my friend Lucienne is in Spain. Besides, it's too late in the afternoon to make plans. I should have thought of it earlier. Oh no, I thought the Exfactor was coming.

At least I haven't felt the need for a nap and that is a bonus point. It will probably mean that I will sleep well tonight. I will read my thriller this afternoon. I tried to read it in bed last night, but fell asleep with it quickly. I had enough sense to put it under my pillow and turn off the light, although Tyke hasn't been in the least bit destructive anymore. I think those days are behind him, knock on wood. He leaves my books alone and the books on the bookcase are safe too. So are my shoes and my cigarettes and lighter. He's just about done being a "terrible toddler."

I hope you're all having a good day. I hope your weather is nice. It's slowly warming up in the living room now that the sun is shining through the windows. I don't have a tan yet, but I may try to get one.

Ciao,
Nora

I was right...

I was right, now that I'm sufficiently well aligned with the sun and the moon and the stars and all the other objects in the great wide world and universe, and I did indeed take two Welbutrin tablets this morning, but I feel good and not at all like the sad little woman that I have been during the day and who couldn't find any joy in her life to wrap around herself for comfort.

What an amazing thing this is, and so unexpected too, because I was already dreading the effect of the first tablet and having to sit here feeling sad and downhearted and ending up having to go back to bed because of this effect of it. I certainly didn't think that I would sit here having a good time writing posts and reading blogs and leaving comments. I guess my psychiatrist was right and the one who perseveres wins. He apparently knew what he was talking about. I had to bite through the sour apple, as they say. That's different from tasting sour grapes or getting your just desserts.

I was ready to call it quits, I was so out of patience, but now I'm glad I didn't and that I listened to and obeyed the professionals. Obedience is not my strongest point usually. I have a tendency to be stubborn and want things my own way, because at any given moment I will be convinced that I'm right and it's hard to change my mind. But I know this about myself and try to take it into account when these sort of things become important and decisions have to be made. My stubbornness can make me shortsighted and I lose track of the bigger picture and the details that go into it. It's important that I pay attention and listen well.

I'm just now having my third cup of coffee of the day. I don't know if you could call it a mug. It's on the small side for what Americans would call a mug. My daughter brought me a mug from Starbucks once and it really qualified as a mug. Two people could have easily had their coffee from it together. If they liked each other a lot, like lovers do. Do you hear that song in your head? I can't imagine liking anyone else that much again. I would worry about his germs. Besides, you would have to like the same things in your coffee and people either like it black or with milk and sugar, never just with milk.

I once accidentally put sugar in my coffee and couldn't figure out why it tasted so bad. The sugar was from one of those paper tubes that also held the creamer. I had picked it up along with the creamer, thinking I had two creamers, because that's what I always put in. I didn't finish that coffee, it was impossible. Since I've stopped eating porridge, I have a bag and a half of sugar on the kitchen shelf that's not going anywhere fast, because I don't use it for anything else. The Exfactor takes it in his coffee and that is it.

I was growing chubby from the porridge with sugar, although I kept saying to myself that it was healthy food. Lord, I did fool myself. I have kilos of porridge to get rid off. Not that I'm lying awake about this at night. I like sleeping better. I don't worry about my weight. I am just me, however I am built. The essence of me doesn't change and my mental health is more important. That's what it's all about in the end. I do have to get my priorities straight, but I'm not going to eat that bag and a half of sugar.

Tyke is completely distracting me. He had two rawhide bones, but he wanted me to try and get the one he had in his mouth, which I did for a while, but then I got the one that was lying on the floor and said, "It is mine." He can't stand it when I say that, so he had to drop his bone and get the one I had. We went on and on like this for a while until he got sick of it and laid down and started chewing on the bone he had in his mouth and that was the end of the game. It will start again in a while, I just know it.

No, instead of that I let him out again and when we were on the field there was another American cocker who is almost 3 years old. It's a female and she came over and challenged Tyke and then ran away and acted bitchy whenever he got close and he likes her so much. He wants to play with her badly and she won't do it and snarls at him. I feel sorry for Tyke, because he needs another dog to play with, but so far we're not having any luck, except for the neighbors' dog and he's never out when we are and I don't know them very well. She doesn't seem to like me and avoids me if she can. He is very friendly and always ready for a chat. Strange, isn't it? (he likes pudgy women and she's lost a lot of weight)

Things to ponder over in my spare time. I try not to ponder too much and to put a stop to it if it gets out of hand. I have an attic in my head where I keep those things and it's not all that full really, just dusty. No cobwebs, though. It's a fairly clean and uncluttered attic with a view of the sea. I have a treasure chest too. That's for very special people. The jewels in my life.

I can postpone hitting the publish button or get it over and done with, because I really have nothing more to say, or I could sit here for another hour and add another chapter. I must figure out the pictures that should head the post. Why don't I just go do that now?

Have a good evening.

Ciao,
Nora