No fooling around now...

That pill that allows me to fall asleep only keeps me asleep for a few hours and then I'm wide awake again. It's not a real sleeping pill, which is good, because I've heard from people who take those that they are very groggy in the morning and that they suffer the consequences of them the next day. At least I don't have that. I am wide awake after it has worn off and any sleeping I do later, I do on my own. I may as well try and get off it and it is one of the things I will try to do soon. First I have to quit smoking.

The day went well yesterday. Everybody came and went and the Exfactor put the coffee table together without any trouble. It is very nice and solid. The area rug arrived while he was working on it, so we put it in place and then put the coffee table on top of it. The area rug is dark gray and the coffee table is black. It looks good and will look even better when the sofa is in place.

After the Exfactor left. I walked to the flower shop with Tyke and bought two large ivy plants in square, lime green pots. I put one on the coffee table along with a sculpture, so now Tyke can't jump on top of it. He's been foiled. He does like the rug very much and likes to lie down on it. It is soft and warm. I put the other ivy on the dining table, to pull the interior together. I do have to make sure that I always have a bouquet of flowers, because it cheers the place up so very much. I have to make a point of that.

I'm not hypomanic anymore. I came down to earth yesterday afternoon and now I am completely calm and sober minded. I hadn't realized that I was hypomanic until I stopped being it and then it became clear to me. I suspected it last week, but thought I was over it. It's a relief not to be it anymore, because I was outshouting myself. Making too much noise, having too many stars in my eyes. Now I'm down to a manageable level and I'm going at an easier pace. It's a more realistic state of mind to quit smoking in.

I like being this calm me. I am almost sedate. At least I'm more introspective and I like that. I'm not on the run for anything. The hypomanic me got a lot of things done, the calm me gets to enjoy them. I can be more objective like this and think about things in a more rational way, without high running emotions. I also feel that I can rest and be quiet and that everything will happen in its own good time. The last thing I want to do now is turn on the light therapy lamp. That will turn me back up.

My sister is giving a house warming party tonight and she has invited lots of people. If only half of them show up, it will be a full house. She'll have food and drinks and good company. I will make it a point not to drink too much wine. I do have to ride my bike home.

Have a good day!

Ciao,
Nora

Pretending...

It's early in the morning and I'm pretending to be awake. I think I am awake, but I'm still drinking my first cup of coffee, so anything is possible. I will know more in half an hour when the caffeine has done its work. In the meantime, I sit here and smoke my cigarettes and blearily look at the keyboard and pick out the right keys to type. Every once in a while I yawn and think I will go back to bed, but I know it would be an exercise in futility. Once I'm up, there's no stopping me and I won't be able to go back to sleep, because I will be too excited about what the day will bring.

So coffee it is and several cups of it. Nice and strong. The kind that puts curl in your hair. Ha ha, if that were true, I would have very curly hair by now. I have no such luck and have to get any curls I want from a curling iron. I do have one of those, but up to now my hair has been too short to use it. I've tried it and all it does is put a kink in my hair. I'm to dignified to walk around with kinky hair. I'll have to let my hair grow longer just a bit. I just may do that.

I have to get dressed on time in case those men come to pick up the sofa and the carpet early to take to the dump. It will be a relief to have them gone, because they are standing in the hallway where I usually park my bike, and they are in the way. That sofa is standing on end in the corner and even Gandhi is not climbing to the top anymore. She did that at first, but the trick has gotten old, just as she never uses her scratch poles anymore, but prefers to use various pieces of furniture, rotating between the ones that are her favorites.

It's going to be one heck of a busy day with people coming and going and me having to go to the post office and the pharmacy at the end of it. I have to pick up some medicines and my nicotine patches, because I'm working on my last pack of tobacco and I'm not sure when I'm going to run out of it. Any day now I could be an ex-smoker. You will all have to bear with me as I go through the throes of cigarette withdrawal. I'll know not what to do with my hands. I better get something to fiddle with. Some rubber bands maybe or paper clips that I can bend out of shape.

Instead of waiting for my sister to take me to Ikea, I've ordered an area rug on line and I just discovered that it is going to be here this afternoon. I hope they get here on time, because I do have to go out at the end of it. It is nice that it is arriving today, though, as I can put it in place and it will be a spot for Tyke to lie down on. He has been sleeping in the armchairs, but he prefers to be on the floor. Usually the delivery person gets here around 3 pm, so I hope that counts for today as well. I will be home, because that's when the Exfactor will be putting together the coffee table. I can't wait to see what it will look like. I do know that it will be heavy, as the flat pack weighs a lot.

I have to get dressed and get the show on the road. It will be the beginning of a long day and I must be ready for it. I've had enough coffee to wind up a cuckoo clock. I think I will switch to fruit juice now.

Have a great day!

Ciao,
Nora

In the late hours...

I went to bed early last night and slept for a couple of hours, only to wake up to have to go to the toilet and to have to let Tyke out. I will have to go back to bed some time to sleep some more until 7 am when I will have to get up, because my sofa is going to be delivered between 8 and 9:30 am. I want to be wide awake and dressed when that happens. I also do want to have had some coffee by then.

The living room is very empty without any sofa in it at all, but there is lots of room for Tyke to play with his ball, so he has been taking advantage of that. I've rolled up the area rug and I'm getting rid of it, because it has stains in it and a few burn marks from dropped cigarettes from when I was still on heavy tranquilizers and dozed off regularly. It's lucky I didn't burn the place down. I will get another area rug when I'm at Ikea next. I've seen some in the catalog that are not expensive and made of natural materials. I'm sure I'll find something there that pleases me. I've also seen the curtains there that I like and they are inexpensive as well and I want to get them. I'll have to ask my sister to take me over there one of these days soon.

I love all these changes that I'm about to make and am looking forward to them. I feel that I'm being shaken out of my complacency and am accomplishing things. Everything has been on the back burner for too long and it's about time I do something about them. It only takes a few bold steps and cutting the proverbial knot to get through the inertia that had built up. No doubt cutting down on my antidepressants has a lot to do with that, as it has given me more energy and a clearer point of view. They had actually dulled my outlook and performance. Not only am I reducing one, but I've cut another one out completely and I think that's a darn good thing.

I'm getting back some good feedback on quitting smoking. Not only will my clothes and my apartment smell better, my sense of smell and taste will improve too, so that I will enjoy things a lot more. No doubt I am severely impaired in these senses now. Food should taste better and scents should smell better. I will enjoy the smell of freshly washed laundry better. I have so much to look forward to. One thing, of course, will be cleaner lungs, and no longer that cough that I have in the mornings when I wake up and smoke my first cigarette. My physical condition should improve too and hopefully I will have more endurance. I will notice that when I'm riding my bike and when I'm walking Tyke.

Oh, I'm all bogged down in seriousness. I do have to lighten up. Today is going to be a great day. It is Thursday and officially my day off. Except for the sofa, that means no appointments and no visitors. I do have to do a load of laundry and take the dry laundry off the rack in the bathroom, but that will be an easy job. It's really not time to change the bed yet, I've just done that, but I'm tempted to do it again. All for the sake of clean smelling sheets. Ha, I don't even know what clean smelling sheets are yet. I suppose I'll have to wait a while to really find out. I've been fooling myself into thinking that I knew this, but I will really know once my nose starts working properly.

I've got the choice now to go to bed or to stay up. I'm not in the least bit tired, but it's awfully early to start the day. I can think of some things to do. There are a couple of jobs that need my attention. I can put them off or do them now and it will be fun to fill this empty time with something useful, as long as I'm not going back to sleep.

Tyke's gone to sleep on Jesker's old pillow. First he pulled it into the place he wanted it to be and got rid of all the toys that were lying on top of it and then he laid down on it. He's a smart dog. He misses the area rug to sleep on, no doubt. It's not much fun to lie on the cold linoleum.

I'm going to do those jobs now and keep myself busy and out of trouble.

Ciao,
Nora

Speedy Gonzalez.

I've made a list of chores and I've divided it room by room to keep it manageable, except that I didn't know which room to put the ironing under so it's in a category all by itself. I suppose that would be under the header "miscellaneous." Equally with organizing clothes, although that could go under the header "Junk room," because that's where my closet is. I only have "wash windows" there now.

It helps too break it down in segments, otherwise it becomes unmanageable and you just end up with a very long and intimidating list, This way I can go from room to room, even if I'm not completely done in one room.

I completely cleaned the bathroom, except for the shower basin and the tiles under the wash basin. I had crawled around on my knees washing the floor and thought that was enough of that and quit, but I crossed off all the other items I had to do in the bathroom, such as the sink and the toilet and the shelf and the mirror. And the dirty little waste can.

Then I got the vacuum cleaner out and started vacuuming the area rug in the living room and realized suddenly that it was reversible and that it had a brighter side on the bottom. I had to move the furniture, because the rug is about 8 feet by 4 feet and pulled it away and around. There was a lot of grit underneath it, so I vacuumed that, and then put it bottom side up in place and replaced the furniture and now it looks like I have a brand new area rug. I just saved myself 60 Euros, because thatś what a new one would have cost me.

I vacuumed the furniture and got so hot that I had to remove an article of clothing, which was okay, because I was still decent without it. I just looked pudgier for lack of camouflage. That's why I wear layers of clothes.

I did take little breaks and had a delicious cup of tea with three sugars in it that pepped me up quite well. That made me think that maybe I should take sugar in my coffee, but I really don't like the taste of it, so I would have to get used to that a lot, but it would give me quick energy. I have to ponder on this some more.

I dusted my bedroom, which stays amazingly clean, maybe because it's my sacred, hallowed place, and then vacuumed the carpet. I found one hairball, which was rather disgusting, but it was pretty solid. All I have left to do in this room, is wash the windows and clean the radiator. Those are still on my list.

I'm going to dust the bookcase next and clean the living room windows inside. Outside it is raining, so it is not much sense doing them there. Besides, it is Sunday and I can't go out there and wash windows. I would be reported to the Holy Doctrine Police and be incarcerated in a church dungeon.

Please, read my posts before this one, so you know what I have been doing since the middle of the night. I'm on a cleaning journey and making a log about it. I want you to be part of my efforts. When I finally go around the bend, you can say, we read all about it and were witness to it.

Actually, I don't think I'll go around the bend, I'm to sane for that. I have my full capacities still. I am just wide awake and not in the least bit tired. I'm amazingly free of madness. But don't crazy people always say that about themselves?

Onward to the next chores. I'll let you know how they go. It's more fun if I get to report in every few hours.

Ciao...

A lot of work...

When I'm talking about a lot of work, I don't mean me. I mean you people who will have to read several posts to be completely updated on what I have been doing this night, and since the night is not over yet, god only knows if there is going to be another post for you to read.

I said that I was going to make my bed first when I left you last and that is what I did. I picked a neat stack of fresh smelling sheets out o f the closet and made the bed ever so quickly. It was done before you could say "Geronimo." They smelled so good, because I had dried them out on the line in the July sunshine and they felt nice and crisp. If I ever do get to bed, it will be a pleasure to lie down in it.

Then I gathered all my dishes and glasses that were spread a round the apartment and rinsed them under hot water and did the dishes in hot soapy water until they were sparkling clean. I dried the silverware, but left the rest to dry in the rack and will put them away first thing tomorrow morning, which it almost is, come to think of it.

The ceiling light in the kitchen had not been working for months and I finally got a new bulb out of the closet and with the help of my stepladder, changed the light bulb and behold, I could see the dirt!

Well, really, I am exaggerating. I could see a lot better where I had to sweep the floor and I did that first and in the process of doing that, I nearly knocked over the water bowl for the cats and sloshed water all over the floor, which then actually made it easier to sweep up the dog heir, because it clumped together better. So I wondered if it would be better to always sweep the floors with a wet broom and now that I think about it some more, I think I may be right and I'm going to try that out some time.

Then I dusted the surfaces in the living room with a damp cloth and wiped away the cat hair that they leave all over the place, because they sit wherever they like and nothing is sacred. If you use a dry cloth it doesn't work. The hair just escapes to other places. I emptied the ashtrays and put numerous little items back in their place. Doesn't everybody leave their nail clippers and sunglasses and pliers laying around? And don't you all have a special odd place to keep those things?

I swept the living room floor and you would be surprised by the amount of hair and grit that was there. All that stuff goes into your carpet. I was sorry that I couldn't vacuum, because the chairs needed a good cleaning and doing it with a brush isn't going to cut it this time. Can you believe that I said I was sorry that I couldn't vacuum? Really! It's unbelievable!

I swept the hallway and had to move several items around and the swept the spare bedroom, which is really the junk room, so I'll call it that and it seemed that Jesker's hair had gathered here into snowdrifts that kept escaping from my broom. That's why I think a wet broom will work better. It will make the hair all nice and clumpy and stick to the broom better.

Anyway, I finally got that done and had heaps of dirt and hair all over the place, which I removed with the hand broom and the dustpan. That's always a very satisfying job and I always wish for more heaps, because I like brushing them into the dustpan. I did see that I needed to mop the floors and that there were some areas that I needed to scrub, so that will be my next job. It will be fun and satisfying. I can't wait. I also can't believe I said that. What's wrong with me?

Next I drank a tall glass of juice and made a package of cigarettes. I used to get tobacco in cans and always had problems with tobacco that was either too moist or too dry. Since I switched to strong tobacco, I get it in a heavy paper pack and the tobacco is always just right all the way down to the bottom of the pack, so you see that the old fashioned way of packaging sometimes is the best. I love to hold my paper pack of tobacco. I like the printing on the label and the name of it. It is called "Look Out." It is a brand that has been around forever. It's a manly tobacco in a manly pack.

I took all my medication, including my sleeping pill and we'll see if it is going to work. Either way I have to take it, otherwise I'll get withdrawal symptoms. I can't just not take t, even though that's what I want to do. I'd like to just stay up and not bother going to bed and do some more chores now that I'm in the proper frame of mind. I could mop the floors and I still have to hang up the laundry and I could wash windows when it gets light, even though it is Sunday, but who can be bothered?


I just cleaned up a whole bunch of my clothes that I had laying in the bathroom, things that I had worn this week and had discarded and not put away where they belonged and now seemed like a good time to put them away properly before I hung up the laundry to dry. So now the laundry is on the drying rack smelling of delicious clean detergent, but I did notice that I need to clean the mirror and cosmetics shelf as its is rather dusty and could use a good shine and I should mop that floor too. I've got my work cut out for me.I did manage to pair up one single sock with its companion, leaving no sock single. At least none that matter. I knew it would show up sooner or later in one of the following washes.It was just temporarily misplaced and not in another universe or another dimension.

I do have to organize my closet a little bit better, I do have some sort of system now, but it's getting kind of messy and although I can find things, I like it neater than it is now with the stacks a little better organized. maybe I should start a list of things to do and work my way down it and neatly check off what's been done. That ought to give me some satisfaction. Right, first things first, make a list, however brief and concise and give it many admiring glances through out the day.

This is not at all in conflict with my doing things in chores of threes of course, I can still do that, Some of the chores may be a little bit bigger, but if I have the energy, than more power to me. I just have to take advantage of this energetic me that's surfaced and get her to do as many things as possible in whatever time we've got.

It's too bad that I don't have an Ikea flat pack to put together right now, because I do need a bigger closet and I have the wherewithal to stick one together in a few hours, but I'll have to price them first and see what they cost, probably an arm and a leg. I also want to look for a new area rug, because the one I have was very cheap and is starting to show its cheapness and I want some more color instead of the drab browns. I'll have to check the Ikea website in a while to see what's available. Oh, aren't I just full of big plans.

Somebody said I'm back in the saddle again and I guess they weren't joking. I'm like the Pony Express going at full speed. I've got me a pinto that won't quit. Sheer will power is keeping me going and lots of very focused energy.

In a minute, I am going to make me a bucket of suds and get my sponge mop and tackle the floors, It will be a pleasure to do them. I have boundless energy and I think that with a break now and then, I can do the whole apartment.It will be like in the olden days, when housewives got up with the chickens and did their chores before their husbands and children awakened.I will be a babushka and wear a scarf around my head and boots over my long johns and be forever at work cleaning and scrubbing because cleanliness is next to godliness and I'll have a crucifix above my living room door. Of course, I'll need some chickens to get up with.

Okay, I'm off to do my next chores, I'm sure I'll keep you updated on my coming housewifely acts and the sheer excitement of them, so get ready for the next installment.

Ciao...