Thursday, August 13, 2009

On the sofa...


I went to bed on time and then for some reason woke up at 1 am and thought I had to get up, which I did, and sat behind the computer for a while. Luckily, I did become very sleepy again and I moved to the sofa, where I continued my night of sleep that was so strangely interrupted, and I just woke up and haven't even had a cup of coffee yet, just a glass of juice and that won't cut the mustard, but I don't feel like having any coffee yet, which is strange and odd for me. I may make myself a cup of tea later, but I think I will just have some more juice first.

I'm not at all convinced that I'm truly awake now, but I think I am in some sort of twilight zone between being awake and being half asleep and therefor I should drink some coffee. I have taken my medicines, so I should be in good shape by now, but it isn't dawning in my head yet, as in: dawn isn't happening in my head, although it is daylight outside.

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Well, I ended up going beck to the sofa for a while for some more sleep, because obviously I was not quite coherent yet. I am now drinking a cup of coffee and I'm feeling much more normal. So normal, in fact, that I hardly know what to write. I can't just sit here and put down some blathering sentences, although that may be one method to get the page filled. When in doubt, just tell people what you are doing and something will come of it.

I just opened the back door to a nice cool morning and a church bell that struck the hour of ten. It rained all last night and everything is wet and nice and fresh. The air is clean and crisp and cool and feels good to my skin. I do like these temperatures. It is 18 degrees Celsius.

Then I fed Jesker his breakfast and he protected his bowl from the cats with much growling, because he was hungry and wanted to eat without any interference. He didn't leave one tiny little morsel for them to eat, much to their regret, because they do like dog food. They like to lick the gravy off it. Now they are reduced to sticking their paws in the empty can to try and come up with something. You would think they really have a bad life here and I guess from their point of view they do with no more food in pouches.

I have to go and walk Jesker, I'll be right back...

...Well, we walked around the neighborhood a bit and only the rain stopped us from walking a little bit more. Yesterday, I realized that I did not take my freedom in this world enough qua time and space and I am determined to do that more often now, starting with the dog's walks. I always act like I have a limited amount of time and space to do something in, when in reality the opposite is true and I can take all the time and space I want.

It is a whole mindset that I have to change and I have to liberate myself out off my little box. In reality I have so much freedom and I don't take advantage of it. It's going to have to take a whole change of attitude on my part, but I hope I'm not too old to learn a new way of existing in this world.

I don't have that attitude: The world is my oyster! I'm always getting home as quickly as I can, in the straightest line possible, and once I'm home, I have a tendency to stay put, while I could go out and explore things. Take much longer walks with Jesker for instance. And bring my camera along.

I could also go off on my bike and explore the town and take interesting photographs, but somehow that seems too scary to me, as if that is an adventure that is unimaginable and something I'm not capable of doing. That's the sort of attitude I have to fight. I have to assert my right to do it. My basic human right to move about freely in this world.

You must admit, though, that it is easier when you have a dog. A dog is a good excuse to go places. It's too bad that Jesker has osteoarthritis, because I don't know how far I can take him before we get into trouble. I doubt he can walk to town, although I would love to take him there.

Well, we'll start exploring a bit and see how it goes. Today is as good a day as any.

Freedom, that's what it is all about. To liberate myself out of the little box in my mind.

Have a great day and be out there in the world, unexpectedly in a different place.

Ciao...










7 comments:

aileen said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


Betty

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John said...

Then I fed John his breakfast and he protected his beer from the cats with much growling...

John said...

aileen is spam, baby

The Green Stone Woman said...

Thanks, John, her comment looked familiar. I had seen it somewhere else.

Babaloo said...

Here's to a day of exploring and finding yourself in unexpected places!

(not for me today, though, just back from child minding and shopping and now I'm off to get my hair cut.)

Maureen said...

Oh yes, it is all too easy to get into a rut; to keep repeating the same safe patterns every day. It's when we break that pattern that life really happens! Hope you had a pleasant walk; and that you take more pictures one day too!

Gail said...

Sounds like a relaxing day.