Sunday, August 16, 2009
Little old me...
I'm on my own again and enjoying it, even though I had a nice time with Joost here, but I do so like my time on my own and being able to sit behind the computer and catch up on all the blogs and leave comments, and also read my emails and answer those. I need my time to be able to do that and I certainly am not anti social enough to do that while I have company. A little bit of both is just enough. Some company to talk to and some computer time to get that out of my system. If I always could combine those two, my life would be perfect, well, near perfect. There's always a hitch somewhere.
Joost and I are perfect company for each other, because we are both low key people and on the quiet side and we both like serenity and predictability and not much excitement, so we always take it real easy when he is here and just enjoy our talks and each other's company and our walks with the dog. We don't need to do anything out of the ordinary to have a nice time. I think he appreciates the fact that I'm so mellow and the same goes for me about him and he helps me do the dishes...
It's also nice to be on my own again, because I do appreciate that also. Apart from the fact that I can sit behind the computer. I do need a certain amount of alone time, when all I have is my own company and I can fill my time how I see fit and I don't have to be attentive to someone else and all I hear is my own voice speak to the animals. I like a certain amount of absolute silence uninterrupted by anything, no music, no television, no radio, nothing, just silence. Well, the occasional snoring of the dog and the pitter patter of the cats that walk by on the linoleum and the sound that they make when they chew their kibbles ever so gently.
Those are little cozy sounds that comfort me and make me feel good and that all is well with the world for right now. Especially on a Sunday evening when everything seems to have come to a temporary pause before it becomes that busy Monday with all its responsibilities and worries.
I don't want to think about Monday yet and absolutely stay in this moment that I have here now. This peacefulness that exists now. The animals that are asleep and the quiet that is all around me. I haven't watched television all day and I have no idea what's going on in the world and for now I will leave it that way. It's better for my peace of mind if I don't know anything right now and concentrate on the very fact that I am sitting here typing this and trying to gather my thoughts while I listen to the dog snore.
It's good to read other people's blogs, because you are exposed to other people's ideas and thoughts or concerns or bits of happiness and it affects your viewpoint on humanity. It also gets you out of your own head and your own somewhat limited view on your little world and into the larger world of a bigger group of people. Each blog triggers something in your head, some sort of response, sometimes big and sometimes little and sometimes it's a memory of things that happened to you a long time ago. Not everything is important. A lot of times it doesn't really matter that much and what you read is just a passing amusement, but some things are big and make you think and stay with you.
I would say that my knowledge of human beings has grown quite a bit since I've started reading blogs. One thing I have realized, is how much alike we all are, and by that I mean especially the women, because I read mostly blogs written by women. We have so many of the same longings and likes and dislikes and emotional lives. That doesn't mean that we're not all unique and very special. We are not interchangeable, but in our cores we meet and recognize each other and it seems to me that we can be a huge support group for one another, because there is a lot of compassion out there, or maybe I'm just lucky and I meet the right people.
Of course, you have a tendency to gravitate toward certain blogs and the people who write them and you start to feel an affinity for them. I shy away from certain blogs, because I don't feel comfortable there. I feel out of place or out of my depth. There's a certain kind of ironic humor that I just can't handle, I'm too serious for that, although I like the occasional slapstick. I'm not sophisticated enough to handle constant wit and sarcasm and self deprecation. I want to waylay it.
What happened to my quiet, peaceful moment? I turned into a ponderous, thoughtful one. All for the sake of one remark. I must watch my words, because one thing leads to another.
Now I must go to bed, unfortunately, and I still have to take out the trash. Mustn't forget that!
Sleep tight, those who are about to go to bed, and those who aren't, have a great rest of the day.