Thursday, November 13, 2008

Falling asleep with boredom.

Sometimes, you can be doing too much of a good thing and I have been sitting here for quite some time now reading nothing but comments to other people's posts and, frankly, it was making me fall asleep. My eyelids were slowly sliding shut and my head was starting to topple over, so I said to myself, "Enough of that, Miss Goody Two Shoes, they can all wait for another day when you won't be falling over from boredom."

Of course, you have no idea how many comments I was reading. There were a trillion of them! After a while it's like reading the phone book, about as thrilling as that. Now I need a big glass of juice to get some sugar in my system and after that a big mug of coffee. What I really crave is a Mars bar, but I don't happen to have one of those laying around.

Maybe I should have a candy bar dispenser installed in the kitchen. My tight skinny pants would get even tighter and skinnier. They are real hip huggers as they are. I could also have a mini refrigerator installed underneath the desk, filled with small bottles of white wine and soft creamy donut holes. Then I would want fresh popcorn in the bedroom with melted butter handy to drizzle on top. Oh, dream on, Irene... the meantime, it is more than several hours later and I have been grocery shopping and I've had myself an unintentional little nap on the sofa. The little nap was quite funny, as I was eating yogurt and slowly started falling asleep and toppling over, all the while trying to keep the container of yogurt upright. The last thing I remember was the Überhund licking the yogurt out of the container and me having toppled over completely to the side on the armrest. Shows you how strong my desire for sleep was, because I like that yogurt.

I did get up early this morning, so no doubt I had to catch up on some sleep, but I don't like going comatose during the day and then waking up and being so disoriented, that I don't know which language I speak when the phone rings and I start calling things whatchamacallits and nobody knows what in the world I am talking about and they think I'm awfully strange. I finally give up and tell them that I don't know the words, which leaves us both baffled, but in the end we manage to figure out something. Except for today, today I was put on hold and I hung up. They'll call back when I'm coherent.

It's a good thing that I'm not in charge of small children, because they would burn the house down while I was asleep.

I haven't worn jeans very much lately and my skinny jeans are making me feel very self conscious of my legs. I think for the most part they are good legs, but I'm not used to them being there. I feel like I ought to be able to wrap them around each other several times, but I am disappointed that I can't. The material of the jeans is very slippery and when I cross my legs, they just come undone again. It's much easier when you wear a skirt. Also, them being tight skinny jeans does something to my insides and I think I'm being rearranged there. I'm completely out of breath. They're hugging my hips rather tightly, as in a vise grip. Maybe it is not such a good idea to wear them, at least not today. I think I'll go put on a skirt. Hang on...

...oh, that's ever so much better, I don't believe the size on that label. Some optimist put it on there. A man with huge rose tinted glasses. I'll have to check the name of this brand of jeans and always buy them one size bigger. Or not by the skinny tight style anymore. There ought to be a law against making skinny tight jeans a size smaller that it says on the label! I do declare...humbug.

My lovely little doggy thinks he can tell time and you know what? He is right, it is time to go out for a walk. I'll just finish my cigarette and my coffee and then we'll be off. I'm sure he is tired of me saying, "Wait a bit," because I say it so often, but he's learned to be patient. He knows I won't budge until I'm ready and he is so resigned, poor dog.

I suppose I'm ready now to read the rest of those comments and do a little blog reading too. After we go for our walk!



Frances said...

you need rose-tinted legs to wear those

aims said...

Oh oh! I see you've changed your name and your picture! And you didn't even mention doing something you weren't supposed to do!

What happened?

Lane said...

I've never understood how anyone can say 'I'm a size 10' or 14 or whatever because every single brand sizes differently. And yes, there's a lot of vanity sizing around:-)

Hope you have a good evening Irene.

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

Frances, oh, I love that one, rose tinted legs. I'm keeping that one in my repertoire. LOL.

Aims, that image and that name have been here since the weekend. I've kept my promise and didn't change them. You silly girl, you!

Lane, vanity sizing is a new concept for me. I'm keeping that one in my repertoire too. LOL

aims said...

It has? My mind is so full of wool I'm not getting my blogging time I need and I'm obviously missing something.

Sorry my friend. Oooops...

VioletSky said...

Irene, sometimes you are just too funny - especially when writing this post!!

Maggie May said...

I think you should thank the Uberhund for eating up the yoghurt before it hit the deck. Otherwise I could visualize a terrible mess when you woke up.

Clothe sizes do vary considerably depending on which store I use. Won't tell you my size though! X

Mean Mom said...

Oooh, yes! Be careful of those jeans! In the house, I wear jeans which are too big for me, but comfy, and I keep the tight ones for when I go out.

Anonymous said...

Good idea to change into a skirt. I feel better in a skirt too, especially when my skinny jeans start feeling snug. Sometimes I think we are just more bloated!
You are one funny woman, this post made me laugh.
I do hope you can get your sleep back on a regular schedule!

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

Aims, you've been doing too much knitting, obviously.

VioletSky, in my opinion, I can never be too funny, unless I get obnoxious, of course.

Maggie, you're right. I had not thought about the potential mess. What do you mean, you won't divulge your size? You look pretty average to me.

Mean Mom, yes, but then you can't go out for lunch or anything, because it will cause windiness.

Cheryl, I agree, yesterday I was especially bloated, women get that way, they do. It's why we suffer so.

It would be wonderful to get all that gas out and everything. Maybe I need to do a cleansing. Do you think eating many cookies will help?

Maureen said...

Ughhhh. I shall never wear tight jeans again. The last pair I bought I purposely got 1 size larger; not because I gained weight (I've actually gone down about 10 pounds!) but because they are so much more comfortable and roomy.

I know what you mean about reading until dozing off... I have done that many a time as well.