Quality Time.

I have tried to spend quality time with the Überhund, but he is sound asleep on his blanket and doesn't have a clue that he could be getting a nice rub on his belly right now or a good scratch between his ears or under his chin. He is oblivious.

I wanted to spend some time with him, because I have been gone a lot today, or busy, and I feel that I have neglected him, but I guess he doesn't feel that way at all. Now I am afraid that he is used to getting ignored by me and I want to make sure that I pay enough attention to him. I need to make it a point to sit on the sofa more often where I am accessible to him and he can come and get his ears scratched. I'm afraid I'm not always a good owner. I become preoccupied with things and I forget to pay attention to him and he's so quiet that I forget about him.

I had a wonderful time at creative therapy this morning.I found some old art magazines and they had some great pictures and text in a good font in them, so I had a good time cutting things out and arranging them on paper. I always try to add some humor to the texts and pull them out of their contexts. I try to come up with a surprising combination of text and pictures. The bad part is, when I am really getting into it, we have to pause for our coffee break and then I can't wait for it to be over so I can get back to work. I drink a double espresso and smoke two cigarettes and then I'm ready to go at it again.

Immediately following creative therapy, I had an appointment with my SPN, so I rode my bike over there straight away. Luckily, it hasn't rained all day, so I got there in a dry condition.

My SPN had news for me. Remember how I was going to be moved to the personality disorder group and get a new therapist and a new psychiatrist? She had been in contact with the therapists of this group and they have decided that, since I am doing so well, my current SPN is going to stay my therapist, but she is going to be in direct contact with the personality disorder team for support and feedback. Also, I am going to get a psychiatrist from this team who will be prescribing my medications and generally be keeping an eye on things.

My SPN was in fact not really working with my psychiatrist officially anymore. She had joined another team which includes the personality disorder team. She had kept me on, because we hit it off well and she did not want me to have to change therapists again, so she kept reporting to my psychiatrist. I am thrilled to bits at how this is working out, because I have the greatest amount of faith in her and I feel very comfortable around her and I get places with her and achieve things. And I am more than ready for another psychiatrist, as a matter of fact, I have been wanting a new one for quite some time now, as I have lost complete faith in mine and don't feel that we have any sort of bond anymore.

So, I very happily rode my bike home to the Überhund who had been waiting patiently for me to get there and who was quite happy when I walked in. His whole rear end wagged. I had taken all my artwork that was done home with me and I unpacked that and had a good look at it and was trying to decide what to do with it. I had two large collages that were 60 by 50 cm and I really wanted to frame those and hang them up, as I had gotten good responses to them. I just needed to get the frames.

I decided to take the bus downtown and go to the one store where I knew they sold reasonably priced picture frames and I went to the bus stop in a hurry and got there just as the bus got there too. I got off close to the Exfactor's work and stopped by and had a cappuccino with him, which he really enjoys, because he has quit smoking, except when he is around me and my cigarettes. After that interlude, I stopped by my favorite store and bought a really cute cardigan on sale for 30% off, so it was a bargain. Right, any excuse to add to the interesting collection of clothes.

Then I went to the store for the picture frames and became very frustrated, because the size that I wanted came with a pas par tout which added to the price and I didn't need it, but I bit the bullet and bought two of them and carried them to the bus stop where my bus was standing there waiting for me. What timing! The frames were heavy and I worried about dropping one and breaking the glass, but I made it home safely, where the Überhund was very happy again and wagged his rear end again.

So, the first thing I did was go for a walk with him very leisurely, to relax and take a breather and bond a little bit. He was happy to be out with me and it was nice to take a stroll through the neighborhood and not be in a hurry. Poor dog, he was on his own so much today.

I made myself something to eat and a decent cup of coffee and then I took pictures of all the collages and I promise to publish those tomorrow. I'm too tired to do that now. Don't expect anything nearly as fantastic as The Artful Eye makes, I am just an amateur and she is a pro compared to me. She makes wonderful artwork and one day I hope to be as good as she is. That's my goal. She is my inspiration.

Then, when everything was very quiet and settled down and cozy, I framed the collages and took the artwork down that was in the place where I wanted to hang the collages. It was very handy, because I didn't have to drill any holes, I could use the existing screws. And there they are hanging now, over the sofa, and I must say that I am rather pleased with the result. I also took one of my old collages out of an existing frame and put part of the book collage in it and it looks very nice as well and I didn't have to drill a hole for that one either. I just had to move the hanging wire on the back of the frame so I could hang it on a screw that was already in place. Power to the people!

I need to get one more big frame, but I'll wait with that until next month. I've got to pay the rent first.

All in all, looking back, it has been a busy, but productive and satisfying day, the best of which is really the news that my SPN told me and I think that is very fortuitous. Now I have the opportunity to really build up a strong and steady relationship with her that is going to be long term and long lasting and she will always be my primary care person. It feels good to know that and I feel secure in that. I have to let it all sink in and have it find it's place in my soul.

The Überhund and I just went for another walk and it is misty outside, which in its own way was kind of neat. The mist was hugging the ground, but up above the sky was clear and you could see the stars. It isn't very cold right now, but it's supposed to get colder at the end of the week, which is really a shame, because we are all enjoying this weather. There is no wind, that's the best part.

Alright, it's pajama time and then we'll see how much longer I last. It could be minutes, or it could be hours. All is well with the world and tomorrow is election day and for god's sake, please vote for the right man and you know who I mean.

By the way. a poll was done and 80% of the Dutch people would vote for Barack Obama. I'm just saying...

Ciao...