Friday, November 14, 2008

In the nick of time.

I don't know about the rest of you women, but with my advancing age, my bladder control has gone and many times I don't quite make it to the bathroom on time. I wear something for that, but this morning I had an accident and wet myself. I can move as quickly as I can with my legs squeezed together, but still not make it. It's a real bother and I think I will never have another romance because of this, because can you imagine the situation? "Sorry honey, you can't hug me tightly right now, because I've got to go very badly and I mean now."

What a way to open a post, huh? I thought I might just as well tell you right up front. We women suffer silently so many times. It's the same way with being bloated and not fitting into your jeans. Why does that happen? You know if you got the chance, a good session on the toilet would clear up that problem, but how do we do it and which product do we use? There are all these yogurts with good bacteria in them that are supposed to help, but they haven't helped me yet. I drink a herbal laxative tea sometimes and that cleans things up a bit. I have a terrible problem with gas and many times one escapes me in company, silent sometimes, but not always. It's so embarrassing.

You can see how this does not promote a romantic lifestyle and I will not pursue another man until I have these problems under control, although I doubt very much that I ever will.

I am very lucky that I am not romantically inclined right now, and that I am not longing for bodily contact. I am so totally not interested in that. A good conversation, yes. Laughter, yes. Romance, no. Sex, no.

One of the people I get along best in one of my groups is a homosexual and I love the fact that he is a well dressed and attractive man who is not the least bit interested in me as a woman. I am completely safe in his presence, although he always pays attention to how I am dressed and compliments me if he likes what I am wearing, and I always smell his aftershaves and compliment him on those.

This is turning into a very odd post! I don't know where to take it from here. Do I have any more confessions?

No, I think that is it for now. That's okay then, because I have to take my medicines and walk the Überhund.

Mwah!

15 comments:

Maggie May said...

Oh, Irene...... I do love your blog!
I feel I know you a little better now with all those confidences exposed! LOL

I am fine as long as I don't laugh or cough too much with a full bladder! Just as well I went before I read this!

Hope you have a good day without too much firing away! You can always blame the dog! LOL
X

Frances said...

Life is a bitch and then we die... LOL
I think there are treatments of various sorts, but as I am the last person to go to the doctor for anything, always hoping uncomfortable symptoms will just get better on their own, I suppose I'm not really in a position to say - why not get yourself checked out?
I guess you have enough to cope with taking the other meds and probably the last thing you want is an examination at the other end of things LOL.
Top n Tail....
As for gassiness.... some people just are and some people are when their diet doesn't suit their digestion.
I would say if you find it awkward or uncomfortable, see a doctor or nurse for advice. If you don't really care and can roll with it... just blast away...
hugs

Elaine said...

Your honesty is amazing, Irene. It's these things which we are NOT meant to talk about, which, when we do talk about them, have other people sighing with relief because they they know they're not the 'only one'.

There's a programme on the telly over here called Embarrassing Illnesses. It's so sad that these people suffered for so long with ailments which affect so many others, yet it has destroyed their lives because they were too embarrassed to seek help. A quick appointment with the doctor, a dollop of cream or a 10 minute surgery has completley transformed them.

I could share a whole list of problems with you right now! But I think I'll save it for another time and just say that a little piddle between friends is something which makes me smile. Not because I'm mocking you, but because we've all been there. x

(I actually blogged about it once, too.x)

softinthehead said...

Oh Irene as usual your post leaves me smiling. You made my morning :)

Mean Mom said...

The cafe where I meet up with a few friends for a coffee has no toilet. I'm sure this is illegal, but the coffee (tea, in my case) is cheap and surprisingly good. We all complain about the toilet problem, though, as we all have the problem of a little bit of wee escaping if we are not vigilant! Depressing, but true!

One coffee morning a new lady joined us and, as I sat down by her, I realised that I could smell 'wee'. Oh, how I prayed that it wasn't me!! No, it wasn't - honest! LOL!

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

Maggie, lauging, coughing, getting up, sitting down, bending over, turning on the tap, these are all reasons to suddenly have to go, and yes, I do blame the dog a lot, poor animal.

Frances, there's a pill I can take for the bladder problem, but it dries out my mouth something awful. Ass for the gassiness, I think I have to look at my diet and maybe not drink so much coffee and drink more pulpy juice. Also lay off the cookies that I like so much. I don't seem to tolerate wheat products that well. They cause my whole system to upset.

Elaine, honesty is the best policy, no matter how embarrassing the subject of which it is my goal to banish that. I am kicking against the establishment, so to speak, and want to make everything discussable. Especially women problems.

Softinthehead,I'm glad I left you smiling this morning. Wish I could do so every day.

Mean Mom, the smell is the worst part when you wear those pads, manufacturers don't put enough thought into that. My pads don't come with a nice built in smell, I think they should, but I get them for free, so I can't complain.

John said...

you.rine, i.rene? i need a man.dala.....

Wisewebwoman said...

Oh Irene:
I'm so glad you floodlight these issues that we keep so hidden.
I laughed at your inadvertant typo in your comment:
"Ass for the gassiness" yeah, right. ;^)
I buy moonpads which are washable -you can get them on Ebay or several companies on line. Rather than pollute the environment with the other kind. They are comfortable and take care of stress incontinence.
Though I've been reading about a botox injection to the neck of the bladder which apparently works. Anyone got experience with this? I know botox is a poison so we would need to be careful.
As to the gas. Dairy Dairy Dairy.
that's what creates gas.
XO
WWW

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

WWW, I'm in trouble then, because I eat almost all dairy. Is it the lactose?

Yeah, that was a real Freudian slip, wasn't it?

John, you want a mandala? I'll see what I can do.

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

Oh John, you're just pulling my leg aren't you? Duh!

aims said...

Okay! I use to have the cough and pee syndrome until I went to physiotherapy and happened to mention it to the woman who was working on my knee at the time.

She just happened to be the person who looks after this! She did an examination - fingers inserted - and had me cough. Then she judged my muscle tension based on that. From there we went into different kinds of exercises and there are even machines to help if just exercising doesn't work. I went to a urologist about it and he gave me a pill that just gave me migraines and didn't work. But this woman cured it for me!

Ask around Irene. I'm sure you'll find someone who knows about this. It's just like kiegles.

As for the other - have you tried prunes? Or raisins?

among found objects said...

Just checked in and loved what you had to say. I am 32 and have wet myself right in the middle of my kitchen. I bought these smart balls that are supposed to help stregthen the vagina walls and hence help control the bladder from spilling its contents. I am sure it would have worked if I were a bit more constant about putting them in. Gas well I have that too. I put a green anise in my tea and sometimes it helps. Bloating.. I hear you. Yeah, we have to be tough. I have gone almost 2 weeks without a nice poo moment.
Wishing you a regular day, with no bloating, afo

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

Dear afo, it's tough being a woman, isn't it? I'd heard about the balls, but can't imagine walking around with them in me.

I have very unsatisfactory poo moments, then sometimes something big happens, I don't know why. It's like giving birth.

Bloating makes me look like a pregnant woman and my jeans don't fit. Passing gas is a great hobby of mine. That too can be very satisfactory.

Thanks for stopping by. I'll add you to my google reader.

Maureen said...

Oh, what we women go through; men will never understand.

I am lucky in a way; I had our daughter by cesarean, so so far I haven't had the typical bladder control issues most women endure years after natural childbirth.

I do, however, have a weird stomach shape due to the incision and years of not exercising, so it's a combination of flabby and a taught thin line. Gah.

Grit said...

the very idea of having to be nice again to pursue any man! oh dear! neither me nor my bladder is up to that!