Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Post-short sleep.

I talked to my therapist over the phone yesterday and she really wanted me to come to our appointment at 9 o'clock this morning, because she thought it was important that we talk about things. She said, "Just set you alarm on your mobile phone and it will wake you up." So okay, I looked up the alarm clock function and set it for 7 am, picked a nice tune and everything and that was it.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning to go to the bathroom and wasn't done sleeping at all, but when I got back into bed, I started worrying about the alarm going off and if I set it right and if I would hear it, because I was so sleepy that I would not wake up on my own and I would sleep until the late hours of the morning. Finally, I was too concerned to sleep and half awake I got up out of bed and went to the kitchen to make myself a mug of coffee, which I thought would help me chase the sleep from my mind.

Well, it did a little bit, but then I turned on the computer and having your brain put to work always takes care of whatever cobwebs there are left in your head and I properly woke up. I spent my time emailing and after that I took my medicines and got dressed, after careful consideration, and took Tyke for a walk. We went the long way, because we had time, and I figured the fresh air would do me good, because I was starting to cave in a little bit.

I had one more cup of coffee when we got home and then it was time for me to leave. I walked over there and actually felt quite tired and I was just at the point that I was not quite staggering down the sidewalk. On top of that, I had a sore toe from having worn my hiking boots and it made me walk a bit funny. I need to not wear those hiking boots anymore, but give them to the second hand clothing store and buy myself a new pair when my toe heals.

Anuway, I got to my therapist's office almost too late and I ran into her while she was looking for me. Luckily, she saw right away that I needed a cup of coffee and had one for me within half a minute. She's a very good therapist.

Amongst other things, we have made a plan for Friday afternoon, when I have to go see my contact person at the Social Security Offices. I am meeting my therapist at her office and we are going over there together and she is going into the interview with me as a back up and a helper. She will help me get some points across and help me ask questions and answer them also. It was her idea, because I'm always having to do everything by myself, and she wants me to get the experience over and done with, because it has been postponed so many times. The deal is, that afterwards I have to take the bus home by myself, because she wants me to do something that requires some independence and assertive action. I can't argue with that.

Then I walked all the way home, feeling a bit uplifted, but still with a sore toe, and I was planning on taking a nap when I got there. Tyke was beside his usual self when I walked in the door and he had been as good as gold. I think all he does is wait for me to get home while I'm gone and he waits to be naughty until I'm back.

I was having a glass of cold milk and a couple of teaspoons of Nutella, when the intercom rang. It was the Exfactor who had himself walked all the way from the station with a sore knee. He has hurt it in the motorcycle accident he had last year and now it is a knee that keeps bothering him. There's some damage to the cartilage, I think. He had brought two semolina puddings with berry sauce for me. I said, "You have to take those home. I don't eat those anymore." He looked very disappointed, so I accepted them. He's always bringing me fattening foods. I'm sure there is a deeper psychological reason for that. I don't have to eat them, of course.

So we had our regular political and sociological discussion and we talked about the animals, but we always do really well when we discuss politics. We solve a lot of problems and they ought to let us sit in parlement. We would know what to do and I'm sure we would have everything straightened out in no time. If only they made me prime minister for a year or two. I would be a firm ruler. I'd push all my measures through with an iron fist. They'd call me Iron Nora. Ha! If only it were that simple. I'd run a one woman show.

The Exfactor stayed for three cups of coffee, which I thought was very nice of him and which I know comes with his realization that I need the company and the conversation. I'm short on both and I need to do something about that. Wanted: smokers who drink coffee and like to discuss politics and animals. If only these were the times of the brown caf├ęs. Those were the days. Coffee, cigarettes, newspapers, good conversations, long afternoons. I'm living my middle age in the wrong era. I'm ripe for -isms and I don't know where they are.

After the Exfactor left, I took the dog for another walk and we ran into another little dog that was very much interested in a more extended meeting, but his owner didn't have the patience, much to Tykes disappointment. He likes all dogs and is so happy to see one. He wants to run after them and follow them home to play with. He also likes kids a lot and when we pass the school, and it is playtime, he won't leave the fence. He stands there until at least some kids come up to it and pet him through the rails and then I can't get him away from there, except to drag him by his leash. I feel like a real bully then.

I have to do my income taxes for 2009. It's not going to be too complicated and I can do it on line. I just have to fill in some numbers that I have at hand, but I'm putting it off. Anything to do with taxes causes aggrevation, don't you think? I's not like I'm going to get money back. That would be a big surprise. It's just the darn officialness of it, though the tax people try to be as accessable as they can be. They are extremely helpful on the phone and very efficient. I had to pay for 2008, because I was married for part of that year, though not as much as I had feared. Let's hope 2009 goes better. As far as I know, I was poor enough.

I'm having a good day so far, No sorry mood has gotten a hold of me yet. I haven't had my nap yet, but it may still happen. There have been no potholes in the road.

Have a good day. It rained during the night, but it's been dry all day and now I have to see if the laundry is dry.



Twain12 said...

I'm so glad your therapist is going with you...i also think getting it over with is the best. I hope the toe feels better soon . Have a great day yourself

Gail said...

Sounds like you are sticking to your plan and plowing ahead...good for you.

Bernie said...

I think your day went pretty well. Your therapist sounds very kind and concerned and I love that you are still friends with your ex...that doesn't always happen.
.......:-) Hugs

aims said...

I've just caught up on the last 2 posts and you definitely sound much better my friend.

Good that she is going with you. That will make it so much easier. Any kind of support is better than being the only deer in the headlights.

Babaloo said...

Iron Nora, now, I really like that! You should draw on Iron Nora when you need some support or need to get something done. How about letting her do your tax stuff? ;-)

I'm so glad your therapist is coming with you to that meeting. Sounds like a good solution.

I don't know about Dutch libraries, but the ones here have daily newspapers for people to read and you always see a few people huddled over the papers or deep in a conversation (no doubt about politics). Of course you can't smoke in the library or have a cup of coffee but a cafe or similar establishment usually isn't far off. How about a trip to the library? You may find some like-minded spirits there.

Frances said...

Yay! Yay you and your therapist. Excellent solution. And you get to make an effort with something else with less anxiety attached.

So glad. Your therapist is a clever lady and a good human being, more important maybe?
Glad the fattening Exfactor came round. I am sure it was not just for your sake, he and you have always enjoyed a good discussion. As for the puddings, he may just want to bring something to offer and doesn't know what is appropriate, or he wants to fatten you up! LOL