Monday, March 08, 2010


I can tell you about my day and I can tell you the truth or turn it into fiction. I feel like turning it into fiction, because it has been a rollercoaster day fraught with stress and emotions and I don't want to rehash it all here and make a soap opera script out of this post. It would be so dramatic. Maybe I can tell you some little facts without going into the details too much. That way I leave out all the drama and you can draw your own conclusions.

Today was the anniversary of my mother's death, which you all know was no ordinary death, so needless to say, I was confronted with that memory. Today I got the official announcement of my aunt's death in the mail and the invitation to her funeral service, which seen in print on a pretty card brought many tears to my eyes. Today Tyke had to be operated on his eye and he is lying here now with a big collar around his head feeling sick from the anesthetic. He is very unhappy. This morning at 6 o'clock I had a vodka and orange juice to calm my nerves.

The Exfactor took care of me for a long time today. He took care of details that I was too stressed about to handle. He was a great help. That's the end of the story about today. Finished.

The Exfactor figured out how to put the CD's in the computer so I could install the program for my digital camera. It was a mighty tricky thing to figure out and I never would have known it on my own. I knew where it was, but not how it worked. We couldn't find the CD to install the printer and the Exfactor thinks he may have it at his house. He said I could also try it through the internet. I won't worry about it just now. It's not a high priority yet.

I'm feeling all my feelings. There is hardly any barrier. Of course, there must be, because I still take lots of medication, but I feel so much. I feel grief.

I think I need to stop writing now and go spend some time with Tyke who does not seem to feel good at all. The poor guy.



Anonymous said...

That sounds like quite the day - and unfortunately not in a good way. You do sound like you're coping the best you can by allowing yourself to experience the emotions but not allowing them to take over ALL facets of your life. And remember: if you can feel this much grief and sadness, you can also feel equal amounts of happiness and joy - and that WILL happen in time. Snuggle up to Tyke and take care of both of you! xo

Babaloo said...

Sorry you've had such a tough day. And I hope Tyke will be perky as ever in no time! x

Gail said...

Too much at once! Computers make me crazy all by themselves.

Tyke will be fine as soon as his medicine wears off.

You will be fine too, you have recovered from worse.

My thoughts are with you.

Wisewebwoman said...

Tomorrow is a fresh start, dearest GSW, so sleep and all will look just a little better in the morning...
I think I see the words underneath what you write and I "get" the drama. Grief does strange things....

Carmenzta said...

Hi Irene! Honey, don't ever worry about writing something "worthwhile." If it comes from the gut it's worthwhile, even if no one reads it. At least, that's what I go by. I hope Tyke and you feel better. You made me laugh with the reference to the screwdriver (vodka & o.j.) at 6 am! It sounds WONDERFUL!
Good vibes your way...

Maureen said...

Aw, I hope you both are feeling better now... sorry to hear of all your troubles. I am always thinking of you, even if I don't comment every day.