Tuesday, March 02, 2010

High definition...

I went for a long walk with Tyke this morning, but that is the total of my accomplishments so far. When we came back, I laid down on the sofa and took a long nap. Doubtlessly to finish the sleep that I didn't get when I got up too early this morning. When you get up at 4 am, you're not really done sleeping yet, I must remember that. It shouldn't come as a surprise when you need to go back to sleep after you've taken your dog for a long walk and you suddenly feel awfully wiped out. Emotionally as well as physically.

I'm in the process now of rejoining the living with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. I think it is going to take more then one cup of coffee, though. I need to clear my mind of the cobwebs of sleep. I did get dressed with care this morning. I am wearing my jeans, like I said I would, and I'm wearing a black long sleeved tunic over it. It has a deep V-neck, so under it I'm wearing an apple green tank top. I'm also wearing a green necklace and my black ankle boots. So well put together am I. If I just had the body to go with it, it would be perfect. As it is, I'm bulging. Well, never mind. I do have other things I can concern myself with and I know the weight will come off once I am off my medications.

I have an hour to kill until I have to leave for my appointment with my SPN. If I dawdle over this post that should take up an hour. I also have to make new cigarettes, so that will take some time too. Of course, I can't finish this post, because I will have to let you know what my SPN said about me wanting to quit my medications. And I still have to walk the dog. So I better do all those things first. I don't like waiting for something to happen. I'm too impatient for that. I bid you adieu, until we meet again...


Well, I'm completely wiped out from walking to my SPN's office and back and it felt like my toes were going to drop off because of the boots I was wearing. The next time I'm not going to be vain and wear my hiking boots and not fashionable boots with pointy toes.

My appointment went fine and was not in the least bit negative. My SPN was not at all against the idea of my quitting my medication. She just wanted to know my motivation for doing so and I told her. But everything was fine and we're having an appointment about it with my psychiatrist on the 10th and I don't expect any problems.

I need to eat now and go lie down for a bit. I am exhausted. I guess I'm not quite over being sick yet. I don't have my stamina back anyway.



Wisewebwoman said...

You must be happy you've taken the action steps, GSW, good for you!
Change is tiring, once your sleep patterns are normalized you will feel more invigorated.
I'm going through a minor adjustment for a bit of jetlag right now and sleeping far too late for my own liking.

aims said...


I'm so happy for you my friend! What a great step to take.

Yesterday I was at the hospital and I saw my former psychiatrist come around the corner. I was wearing my mask so he wouldn't really have recognized me but he looked at me long and hard.

I had conflicting emotions - one of - hey! there's Dr. .... and another one of - that bastard loaded me up with so many drugs I couldn't function.

It was strange and put me on edge but I got through it eventually.

softinthehead said...

Love today's picture Nora, the light in it is amazing - I could hang in on my wall :) At least all this exercise is resulting in a good healthy tiredness. Glad to hear you are feeling positive.

laurie said...

dogs will wear you out. and that's a good thing. you get tired, but you get stronger.

good luck on the 10th.