Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Adding up the hours.

I was up early this morning, because Tyke was barking and I had to stop him so he wouldn't wake up the neighbors. Once I had assured him that everything was fine, I was wide awake and ready to stay up, so I made myself some coffee and answered my emails, which is always a good exercise for my brain. I feel surprisingly clearheaded this morning and not at all hung over, so answering my emails was done with a well functioning mind, which I can't say is always true. I'll have to see how I do the rest of the day, but it's good to feel so levelheaded so early in the morning.

I still can't see my complete blog template, but I've heard that Blogger is having some problems, so maybe it is due to that. I will wait it out patiently and see if the problem clears itself up. I've also left a message at the template website, but I haven't heard anything from them yet. Will those of you who do see my complete template let me know? At least I'll know there is hope.

Well, I was speaking of feeling clearheaded, but I can't think of a bloody thing to write about, yet write I must. It's supposed to be a compulsion, after all, and when you are compulsed to do something, you can't help but. It's like people who talk, but don't have anything to say. This may turn into one of those exercises.

Tell you what. I think I'll take my medicines and see if that makes any difference. It will be an interesting experiment and I will wait half an hour before I start writing again.

Okay, I've hung out on Facebook and tried to figure out why some people are so incredibly popular. I just don't seem to fit in that category, you know? People don't flock around me. I make statements, but I don't get many responses. Maybe my statements aren't provocative enough and they should be more outrageous. Maybe I should insult people in high places or become incredibly political or put in more links to interesting stories. It's a puzzlement. I will have to think about it for a while. I must have a better plan in place. Look at me, the big strategist.

I've noticed that after I take the Welbutrin in the morning lately, my mood just goes downhill. I become angry and irritated and impatient. I don't know if this is a temporary condition, but I've just sent my SPN an email discussing this problem with her. I don't think this is the way an antidepressant is supposed to make you feel. It happens within an hour after I take it. It's impossible to do anything about it once it strikes, but to keep in mind what the cause is and that it's an artificial mood and that it has nothing to do with reality. It does help to talk about it. I feel I'm coming out of the closet with my perfect Welbutrin that made me feel so good for the first two weeks.

If it's a temporary side effect, then I can live with it, but if it's a permanent thing, then I'm going to get off them and not try anything else. I've had enough different kinds of antidepressants and none of them have really worked, except for my temporary believe in them. There is no happiness pill.

Well, I'm going to get dressed and take Tyke for a walk. It will do us both good.

Have a good day.



VioletSky said...

First off, my eyes ain't what they used to be and I find this font too small to read on this background ...or maybe it is just too early in the morning.

I don't find FB to be a good way of communicating with people. I thought maybe it was just the people I see, but it strikes me as being too disjointed. Someone pops up out of nowhere with a statement and one or two people may respond with an "I like this" statement. All of it going nowhere.

It must be exhausting to keep going through all these different medications and their various sideeffects.

Twain12 said...

My template isn't working right either, i'll give it some time myself. My husband was on Wellbutrin but didn't like it , then again everybody is different.i don't use Facebook for great conversations either. I play some games but mostly i keep anything heavy out of there, don't need the drama :D

i hope your SPN gets back to you quickly so you know what to do.

Have a good day

Maggie May said...

Font is a bit small, Nora!
I had trouble with blogger yesterdays on my own blog and other peoples. The photos kept disappearing.

Hope you manage a good day, though it is wet and colder :-(
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Debi said...

Bummer, your template still doesn't look right to me, even though the issue with images has been fixed. I wish I could be of help. :(

aims said...

I don't do facebook at all. I just can't be bothered and I have so much to do in the day that I wouldn't have the time.

You are absolutely right my friend. There is no happiness pill. And being happy isn't what you are looking for in reality. What you are looking for is to not be unhappy. That can come from inside or from many other stimuli. Like a beautiful day or a pretty flower or the smell of Tyke - whatever! It is something you have to work on and not take a pill for. I learned that after getting off my drugs and I still have to work at it - but I'm a much happier person that I use to be an that's without drugs.

Thinking of you my dear friend.