Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Adding up the hours.
I was up early this morning, because Tyke was barking and I had to stop him so he wouldn't wake up the neighbors. Once I had assured him that everything was fine, I was wide awake and ready to stay up, so I made myself some coffee and answered my emails, which is always a good exercise for my brain. I feel surprisingly clearheaded this morning and not at all hung over, so answering my emails was done with a well functioning mind, which I can't say is always true. I'll have to see how I do the rest of the day, but it's good to feel so levelheaded so early in the morning.
I still can't see my complete blog template, but I've heard that Blogger is having some problems, so maybe it is due to that. I will wait it out patiently and see if the problem clears itself up. I've also left a message at the template website, but I haven't heard anything from them yet. Will those of you who do see my complete template let me know? At least I'll know there is hope.
Well, I was speaking of feeling clearheaded, but I can't think of a bloody thing to write about, yet write I must. It's supposed to be a compulsion, after all, and when you are compulsed to do something, you can't help but. It's like people who talk, but don't have anything to say. This may turn into one of those exercises.
Tell you what. I think I'll take my medicines and see if that makes any difference. It will be an interesting experiment and I will wait half an hour before I start writing again.
Okay, I've hung out on Facebook and tried to figure out why some people are so incredibly popular. I just don't seem to fit in that category, you know? People don't flock around me. I make statements, but I don't get many responses. Maybe my statements aren't provocative enough and they should be more outrageous. Maybe I should insult people in high places or become incredibly political or put in more links to interesting stories. It's a puzzlement. I will have to think about it for a while. I must have a better plan in place. Look at me, the big strategist.
I've noticed that after I take the Welbutrin in the morning lately, my mood just goes downhill. I become angry and irritated and impatient. I don't know if this is a temporary condition, but I've just sent my SPN an email discussing this problem with her. I don't think this is the way an antidepressant is supposed to make you feel. It happens within an hour after I take it. It's impossible to do anything about it once it strikes, but to keep in mind what the cause is and that it's an artificial mood and that it has nothing to do with reality. It does help to talk about it. I feel I'm coming out of the closet with my perfect Welbutrin that made me feel so good for the first two weeks.
If it's a temporary side effect, then I can live with it, but if it's a permanent thing, then I'm going to get off them and not try anything else. I've had enough different kinds of antidepressants and none of them have really worked, except for my temporary believe in them. There is no happiness pill.
Well, I'm going to get dressed and take Tyke for a walk. It will do us both good.
Have a good day.