Monday, December 01, 2008

Monday Morning.

I need not have worried about not getting up on time, even though the Exfactor did come by and bring me the spare alarm clock yesterday. For a change, the Überhund woke me up, because his water dish was all empty and he also decided that he needed something to eat. So I remedied that and he just ate a whole bowl full of senior chunks with broth. I very seldom see him eat as happily as when he eats that. The cats' dishes were also completely empty and they were waiting for food and drink, so it was a good thing that I was up.

I did get enough sleep, because I went to bed a 9 o'clock last night, not wanting to sit there and draw out a long, lonely evening. That is the first time that being alone also felt like being lonely and I didn't want that to be an experience that I felt for too long, so I went to bed with a glass of yogurt and my good book and was asleep quickly. I suddenly missed having a partner and felt lonely for someone to talk to and cuddle with. I am sure that I will have more of these moments and I have to guard against wallowing in them and go to sleep when I feel like that. I know that in the morning I will be over it.

And so I am, I have courage again and see things from a better perspective. The fact that I am going to creative therapy also helps a lot. I am looking forward to that. It will be good to see everyone and it will be equally good to work on my current collage, which is one with upside down pictures that I am in the process of revealing, very patiently, with a small damp sponge. I have another one finished that is laying on top of my closet and when I am done with this one, I am going to buy frames for them and hang them up in my bedroom above my bed. The Exfactor has promised to drill the holes for the screws to hang them on.

I think the fact that I missed my therapy classes for the most part last week was not good either. I miss the routine and the contact with the people and the good work that I do there, because, especially in ergo therapy, I am always wiser when I leave there. Every moment can be a learning moment if you allow it. Everybody has the potential to be a teacher.

You can see how bad it is to be completely forsaken of any close human contact. It's something we need as human beings, to be in touch with one another, even if it is only verbally. I must make sure that I don't close myself off for that. It is so important to stay open to the input that other people can bring to your mind and it can be in the most simple ways. Very ordinary conversations can be sufficiently satisfactory to nurture your soul for another while. I have a tendency to withdraw within myself and I have to watch that and not be shy about stepping outside myself and being present in word and deed. I have to take advantage of all the opportunities at interaction that present themselves.

Yesterday evening, I discovered the iTunes store. It looks at the songs you have in your iTunes player and suggests songs that you may like to add to that. Beware customer! Before you know it, you have added 20 Euros worth of songs to your player. It makes you all greedy, because 99 cents does not look like a lot of money. That's how much each song costs. It adds a whole new dilemma to you life, because now, every time you play any music, you see next to it a list of recommended songs that you have to ignore. You have to ignore them, you just have to! Before you know it, you will have spent an enormous amount of money and all because you were so curious. Curiosity killed the cat. That would be me, in this case. The advantage is that you get some very good music with the least amount of hassles. Music that you didn't even know the existence of.

Well, leave it to me to always find some way to spend some money on line. I am one of those suckers of which there is one born every minute. This must be very appealing to young people and I can imagine many of them going into debt before they are 21 years of age. Everything is so easy and painless. You just click the mouse a few times and there you have it. It certainly was different when I was growing up. I bought one LP a month with my hard earned money and I thought that was a really big deal.

Well, it's that time of the morning again. I must get the show started. An animal is making eyes at me. I think he wants to go out.

Have a great day.



Maggie May said...

First...... this morning, Irene.
Yes, people definitely need other people.(As the song goes!) sometimes its nice to have a little break from them, but in the end, we really can't manage in isolation.
Glad your classes are doing you good and that you enjoy them.

Have a good day today! It is cold enough to get frostbite today! X

Bev said...

I agree that everyone needs contact with other people. I am trying to do that more, talking to people on dogwalks and trying to fill up my time with social activities.

I find it is easy to talk to people when you are out walking the dog, as they are only too pleased to talk about their dogs. Yesterday I was talking to a man about his quite unusual looking dog. I happened to mention this and I stood and talked to him for about ten minutes about his dog, who, as it happened was a cross between a whippet and an alsatian (hence the unusual looks)and had come from a rescue centre. A very fast dog, as you would expect, though he ran in short, sharp bursts, as I suppose you would expect from a dog like a whippet...

Dog walking can turn into quite a social activity.

Frances said...

Enjoy your therapy and the company.
I think it shows that you are becoming healthier that you desire company from time to time. You are less inward-looking nowadays.
Your non-happening party shows that there are people who would be happy to come round to socialise, so you never need to be alone if you want company. You can just invite one or two people for a drink or a nibble from time to time. That way you can build up a new circle of friends on your own terms.
if you do that you will be doing better than me! LOL. now I'm middle-aged I have become quite unsociable.
Strange how we change over the years, without noticing.

VioletSky said...

Yes, being lonely is very different from being simply alone. I often have to force myself to get out more and talk to people. And I always feel better afterwards and glad to get home to be alone again!

Breakfast in California said...

I'm sorry your solitude turned into loneliness, I hope you're feeling better today. I like the photo of the woman on the sofa!

Angela said...

Hi Irene, thank you for vísiting my blog again. I`m glad you like Janelle`s African stories, and there are more(many of them know each other - like reluctant Memsahib, and my two nieces of course). But you can also turn your head the other way and visit lifeinmatthews, which I think very funny and nice, or loritimesfive in CA, or thegoldpuppy in Washington. Even from reading your blog I haven`t quite figured you out. You live alone in the Netherlands, but you are English? You have a dog but don`t really communicate with other dog people? You watch yourself but don`t quite know what to make of you? Am I getting it right? Would you like to talk more with me?

among found objects said...

I d love to see your finished work.

John said...

Boycot tjat iTunes store.

Get muzic at library etc

That store along with illegal downloads has destroyed record stores.

You can only burn itunes songs so many times and if your computer crashes so does yoir song library.

Wisewebwoman said...

yes Irene, I understand. I often say to people when they ask if I enjoy my alone status: I enjoy it 90% of the time. Love it as a matter of fact. But that 10% can feel so incredibly lonely now and again and I feel sad and do what you do, take myself to bed with a good book and Ansa curled up beside me.
I'm itching to see your new collage, girl!

Bev said...

Very true, that John.

My husband had been downloading scores of tunes from i-tunes or similar and his £500 Dell crashed and we never knew why. This could be the reason, on reflection.

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

Dear John,

I'll start boycotting that store immediately as of now. You and Bev scared the pants off me. Can't have that. I hadn't thought that far ahead about the whole thing, and yes, I will go to the library the next time. Or just go to plain old Deezer and have fun there.

Bev said...

Thought I would just come back to clarify things.

It wasn't the i tunes apparently, but Trojan which did for the computer. He still lost all his i tunes though lol