Monday, December 22, 2008


After a terribly boring Sunday, it is a new week again and I am so happy about that and I can tell you that I have been looking forward to it all day yesterday when I did nothing but blog and watch TV and took the Überhund for walks. Oh, I am sure I could have done more interesting things, but when things got too boring, I took a nap on the very soft arm pillow of the sofa and it was a good way to get through the day. I actually watched some decent TV and saw some interesting documentaries. One was abut food design and how it was made to be as appealing to the public as possible. Very fascinating and educating and I will never look at food the same way again.

When I tell you about my days and I state that there are lesser days, it is never with the idea that I am complaining and am asking for some solution. I just tell you the facts and share with you what happens here, both the good and the bad, and I know the bad days are always followed by good days. Which does not mean I don't appreciate the input, but sometimes I know when I am in a less than optimal situation and that I need to do something about it. I don't want to give the impression that I am a helpless female, because I am not. Sometimes I'm temporarily off course, but I always find my way back somehow and manage to get to the point where I'm supposed to be.

Anyway, I am full of good cheer for the coming week and I hope that the mood I am in now will stick to me and will help me get through the rest of the week. I have both creative and ergo therapy this week and then it will be Christmas and we''ll have a week off until the day after New Year's when there is an extra creative therapy class. You can bet that I am not going to miss that one.

I was hypomanic when I started the ergo and creative therapy classes, so at that time I had a lot of courage and brawn. It was easy for me to step into them then. Now I am not at all hypomanic and I miss that feeling of over competence that comes with it. I have a lot of balls when I am hypomanic. I am meek when I am not and miss that courage to start something new and I remember this feeling from when I was a child. I went through an extremely shy period when I was a fearful child. It seems I have not shaken off that particular trait yet in certain moods. Therefor my fear for going to the new creative therapy class and having my whole week upset as a result of it. Fear of the unknown.

Today I am going on my hunt for more Christmas cards and hopefully I will find some decent ones. I never enjoyed sending Christmas cards as much as I do now and I don't know why that is. Maybe it used to feel like an obligation and now it feels like a fun thing to do. Isn't it funny how you rediscover yourself when you live on your own? You make up your own mind about what you like and what you don't like without the subconscious influence of the other person. Sometimes it isn't even subconscious, sometimes it is blatantly out there.

I suppose everybody needs a large period in their life of being totally autonomous. Of being an independent thinker and doer. I never had that opportunity until now, so you can say that I am a late bloomer, although I am coming back in many ways to my original self. The unspoiled self I was when I was a very young adult, except with a lot more experience. I find that I have core values that are unchangeable, although they had been malformed and hidden for many years. That's what you get from hanging out with the wrong people.

Well, that's all for today. I'm going to have a good look in my closet to see what I am going to wear today. I feel kind of festive and that needs to be celebrated with color.

Have a great day!



Maggie May said...

I seem to be always first in your comment box!
Glad you are in a festive mood.
Did you put on a red outfit in the end? I think red and green seem to be Christmasy colours but care must be taken not to look like a garden gnome! That is why I rarely wear these two colours together. LOL

I am still not dressed yet nor have I peeked out from behind the curtains to see what the weather is doing today.

Note how I always check your blog before I do anything else, Irene!

Have a good day, my friend. X

Frances said...

Wow, Irene, you have absolutely hit the nail on the head again. I think it is very common for us to adapt ourselves to other people's opinions and attitudes so much that we almost lose ourselves in the process.
What is scariest is that as adults we can start relationships with other people who have equally adapted away from their personalities. It is so hard to regain our real selves when we start relationships with pretences, even ones we don't recognise. I think that may be why older and wiser people than us have always advised us to have time out in between relationships, to adapt to ourselves and not just to immediately jump into a replacement partnership.
As for the fear, argh, don't I know that myself. You do damned well with it and I could do with a little mania myself sometimes to help to brazen things out a bit.
Have a lovely week, it is sounding good.
Keep well.

John said...

Are the cards in english or dutch. They must be created by talented
Printers on beautiful sturdy bond.

My Dutch friends talked about their frsh trees with real candles and scoffed at our electrica" ligjts. The scoffing was good humored.

I also had a norwegian friend who assured me repeatedly with a straight face that Santa Claus lived in Greenland.

Hope you have a great day.

On a train on very cold windy morn. Most presnts are purchased but none are wrapped.

You may talk me into resuming sending cards.....

Mad Asthmatic said...

I am glad you are feeling festive. Good days will always follow the bad ones, that thought is one I cling to on the bad days.

sending christmas cards can really be fun, especially when you have made new friends. I really think you should make your own next year as you sound so creative.


Babaloo said...

Glad you're feeling festive! I made a list of all the things I needed to buy today for the food I'm going to cook over the Christmas days. It's only Felix and myself, so no big numbers to cook for. Nevertheless, I like cooking something a bit special. So the list was a long one.
Doing the actual shopping today nearly put me OFF my Christmas mood, though. People weren't very cheerful, everyone minded their own business, blocking aisles with trollies, looking grumpy and not even wishing you Merry Christmas when you paid for all your purchases at the end. Hmph. To top it off, the weather isn't very Christmassy either, very grey and drizzly.

Ah well. Who cares! Enjoy your day today!

Stinking Billy said...

irene, I'm hypomechanic, myself. Oh, and hypotechnic. Nothing to it, dear girl. Ask me any technical question. You are so right, I just tried it for size there and I feel super-confident. ;-) x

Maureen said...

Irene: Just catching up on many missed days of your posts... now that Christmas is over I have finally the time to sit and read. Oh what joy!!!

I have been wearing two scarves these past two weeks; one red, one green. I have to take advantage of the season as I can't get away with that any other time of the year!