After a terribly boring Sunday, it is a new week again and I am so happy about that and I can tell you that I have been looking forward to it all day yesterday when I did nothing but blog and watch TV and took the Überhund for walks. Oh, I am sure I could have done more interesting things, but when things got too boring, I took a nap on the very soft arm pillow of the sofa and it was a good way to get through the day. I actually watched some decent TV and saw some interesting documentaries. One was abut food design and how it was made to be as appealing to the public as possible. Very fascinating and educating and I will never look at food the same way again.
When I tell you about my days and I state that there are lesser days, it is never with the idea that I am complaining and am asking for some solution. I just tell you the facts and share with you what happens here, both the good and the bad, and I know the bad days are always followed by good days. Which does not mean I don't appreciate the input, but sometimes I know when I am in a less than optimal situation and that I need to do something about it. I don't want to give the impression that I am a helpless female, because I am not. Sometimes I'm temporarily off course, but I always find my way back somehow and manage to get to the point where I'm supposed to be.
Anyway, I am full of good cheer for the coming week and I hope that the mood I am in now will stick to me and will help me get through the rest of the week. I have both creative and ergo therapy this week and then it will be Christmas and we''ll have a week off until the day after New Year's when there is an extra creative therapy class. You can bet that I am not going to miss that one.
I was hypomanic when I started the ergo and creative therapy classes, so at that time I had a lot of courage and brawn. It was easy for me to step into them then. Now I am not at all hypomanic and I miss that feeling of over competence that comes with it. I have a lot of balls when I am hypomanic. I am meek when I am not and miss that courage to start something new and I remember this feeling from when I was a child. I went through an extremely shy period when I was a fearful child. It seems I have not shaken off that particular trait yet in certain moods. Therefor my fear for going to the new creative therapy class and having my whole week upset as a result of it. Fear of the unknown.
Today I am going on my hunt for more Christmas cards and hopefully I will find some decent ones. I never enjoyed sending Christmas cards as much as I do now and I don't know why that is. Maybe it used to feel like an obligation and now it feels like a fun thing to do. Isn't it funny how you rediscover yourself when you live on your own? You make up your own mind about what you like and what you don't like without the subconscious influence of the other person. Sometimes it isn't even subconscious, sometimes it is blatantly out there.
I suppose everybody needs a large period in their life of being totally autonomous. Of being an independent thinker and doer. I never had that opportunity until now, so you can say that I am a late bloomer, although I am coming back in many ways to my original self. The unspoiled self I was when I was a very young adult, except with a lot more experience. I find that I have core values that are unchangeable, although they had been malformed and hidden for many years. That's what you get from hanging out with the wrong people.
Well, that's all for today. I'm going to have a good look in my closet to see what I am going to wear today. I feel kind of festive and that needs to be celebrated with color.
Have a great day!