Thursday, December 18, 2008

Once again...

Once again I am sitting here in the middle of the night all bright eyed and bushy tailed and very much wide awake and have been for about an hour. You could say that my whole sleep schedule is turned upside down and I really don't mind it so much, except that yesterday it made me miss my ergo therapy class, because I found myself having to go back to sleep an hour before it was time to leave.

So, I sleep in the morning, am awake all afternoon, fall sleep after dinner on the sofa, drag myself to bed at around 11 o'clock and then wake up in the middle of the night. It certainly is an interesting schedule. Today I must make it to my new creative therapy class, because it would look very bad if I didn't show up.

Now partly this schedule I am on has to do with my sleep pattern, but some of it has to do with my mood, which seems to be fluctuating up and down and sometimes I feel very good, as if I can take on the world, and then I get rather low and I feel like avoiding everything. It is a little bit like rapid cycling without the extreme hard edges. I know that if I feel low, sleeping gets me over that, so I sleep.

Anyway, yesterday started off as a frustrating day once I got up, because I saw all this housework that needed to get done, without having any of the motivation or mental energy to do anything about it. I just felt defeated by it. I sat on the sofa and drank many mugs of decaf and smoked my cigarettes and thought about the vacuum cleaner, but that is as far as I got. I did the dishes and a load of laundry. I felt like I was in a slump and I couldn't see my way out of it.

So, I decided not to fight the thing and to just let it be and not worry about it and to not beat myself about the head for it. It is that time of year and I will get over it. I also knew that I had to get some groceries and I didn't even feel like doing that and was considering drinking my coffee black and liking it that way. Anything seemed better than going to the grocery store for some reason.

However, I did have to go out that afternoon, because I had to pick up my new glasses at Specsavers and I called them and they told me that they would be ready at 3 o'clock. So, at 2:30 I walked over to the bus stop in the drizzling rain and caught the bus downtown. I do so like sitting in the bus and watching the people get on and off and I always try to imagine what they are all about. When the weather is bad, the bus is always crowded and there is a lot of people watching to be done.

I got to Specsavers right at 3 o'clock and had to wait for a little bit while a final adjustment was made to my glasses. Another chance to people watch.

Then it was my turn and I put on the new glasses to see if they fit properly and I said, "Oh my God, what a difference!" Everything was so sharp and bright. The man who helped me, made some small adjustments so they fit really well and out of the store I walked into a new world. It was an eye opening experience, excuse the pun. I have never seen the world that bright and clear before. It truly is amazing.

So the first thing I did, was stop by my sister's work to show her my new glasses and she liked them very much and she is very blunt, so she would have told me if she hadn't liked them. She sent me an email later in the evening telling me how much she liked them, so that is good.

It was busy downtown despite the drizzling weather and I decided to walk to the grocery store and do some of the most necessary shopping there. It is very handy to have the grocery store downtown, but you must have one there for all the people who live there. I also bought tobacco and filter tubes there and carried my heavy bag to the bus stop on the market square, where I could take a number of buses, but I waited for the one that would take me closest to my apartment, having to haul the groceries with me.

The Überhund was his usual beside himself when I got home. he is just so happy when I get there. It is a joy to see. The cats show their own minimal interest, they are too cool to get all excited. The first thing I did was have a mug of decaf with a good shot of milk in it. That certainly tasted good.

Then I opened my mail and in the mail was an end of year accounting from the energy company telling me that I was getting back 123 Euros. You can understand how happy that made me, because all along I have been so conscientious about using gas and electricity, but I do turn the heater on when it gets cold and I do have enough lights on for coziness. I was afraid that I had not been paying enough, so it came as a real pleasant surprise.

There was also a letter from Social Services telling me that I am getting an extra 50 Euros this month. And there were 3 Christmas cards, so all in all that was very good mail. I would like to have mail like that every day.

When I first put on my glasses, my right eye, which is my worst eye, had to adjust a bit and I was very much aware of the fact that I was wearing glasses. But as the day wore on, my eye got used to the correction of the glasses and when I took them off at night, I realized what a difference they made. I can wear them behind the computer, but for reading a book I still need reading glasses. I have a pair that I could never wear behind the computer, but that I use for reading in bed, as they are a 2,5 strength. I also need those when I look things up in the phone book.

Now I must figure out a good way to wear my hair, as I am not happy with the way I have it now. It is very flat and dull and does not at all fit my image, so in a little while I am going to mess with it. I must have interesting hair. For the same reason, I must find something interesting to wear, I mustn't be a dull woman. I have to jazz up my image.

So, with those famous last words I leave you and I am going to look in my closet and see what jumps out at me. There are probably things in there that I have forgotten about and that must see daylight again.

Have a terrific day. Hope all your days are as bright and sharp as mine are now.



Anonymous said...

What a busy day you had. I'm glad you finally got your new glasses and that they are working out so well. You'll have to post a picture. Maybe we'll have to wait until you get that new haircut.

I wish my mail was as happy as yours. What a wonderful bunch of letters/cards. I'm so happy that you will be gettin money, instead of opening unexpected bills.

It worries me that your sleep is off. Try hard to get to your therapy groups and stick to a typical sleeping schedule. Easier said, I know, but so critical when it comes to triggers for ultra rapid cycling.

I'll be thinking about you.

Maggie May said...

Glad to hear that you have such a lovely pair of glasses. They will definitely make a difference to you.

Irene, your body can get into the wrong rythm of sleep patterns. You will have to train yourself to get it right because it would be a great pity to miss the classes.
Resist the computer in the night. Get a hot drink if you wake up & go back to bed. Try not to sleep on the sofa.It can be changed & I think this is the time of year that sleep patterns can all go out of kilter because of the lack of sunshine. X

Mean Mom said...

I can understand your sleep pattern problems. I have ruined mine over the past few years, because I've stay up into the early hours, trying to fit in things that I wanted to get done during normal hours. Sometimes it's blogging, these days.

I'm glad that you went out, in the end and that your new glasses are good. What great news you had in the post! It must be dreadful to experience such frequent mood changes.

Jo Beaufoix said...

We need pictures of the glasses and the new look soon young lady. I bet you look wicked.

I'm short sighted and wear contact lenses and I love the change they make. I do also sometimes look forward to bed time when I take them out and the world softens. Sometimes though, it doesn't soften, it gets blurry and I trip over stuff. I suppose it depends on my mood. :D

Babaloo said...

What a great day that was! New glasses, more money and Christmas cards. Fantastic. Would love to see the new glasses on you. And I'm glad they make such a great difference.
And, money back for electricity/gas? Brilliant! We usually get a little something back, too, but never as much as you did. That's sure going to come in handy.

I don't think I could handle such a strange sleeping pattern. I think regular sleeping patterns are one of the most important things for my overall health. One reason why I could never regularly travel all over the world like some people do. The jet lag would totally screw with me.

Tessa said...

Lovely to read that your day turned out so much better than you at first thought. Now your world is clear and bright - and I'll bet you look great with your new specs! Find the right style for your hair and you'll be flying high.

John M. Mora said...

Good euro fortune -

Consider this a Christmas card with a sweet Santa coming down the chimney with presents and candy and a big smile.

Okay, maybe a tiny bit of gin on his breath...ooh ohh, he needs to use the bathroom...cold outside you know...."Go, Go, Go - Merry Christmas!!!!"

Frances said...

haha I like johnmora's comment.
I am not going to say anything about you missing another therapy session. You know what I think and you know you think it too.
BUT if there is any therapy next week, do go, otherwise you will manage to get out of the habit over the festive season and you know where that will lead. No being too tired. I recognise that from my own negative behaviour. It is an EXCUSE - you know it is. Avoidance.
Enough slapped wrists. So glad about the glasses and your new vision. Get a new haristyle and go and wow the town.LOL
Love you

dianeclancy said...

Hi Irene ...

There is a little surprise for you over at my blog ...

here is the post

~ Diane Clancy

Wisewebwoman said...

I'd love to see a pic of the specs., Irene. Please.
I can relate to the sleep thing, I'm having trouble myself, all topsy turvy at the moment.
Great news in your mail. Well done!!

Maureen said...

Ha! I think I would be terrified if something jumped out at me from the closet!
Glad to see the glasses are working so well for you!