The medicines.

I want to first of all thank you people for leaving me such great comments of support and encouragement while I go through the trials and tribulations of taking the wrong medication and now am adjusting to a new one. You know I very rarely comment on the comments, but I think it is worth mentioning here. You're all a great bunch of people.

The reason that I didn't notice that my medication was different to what I normally take was, that the Exfactor had gone by the pharmacy for me and had picked up a 3 months supply of 4 different kinds of medication and brought them home in one bag. I didn't check then to see what was in the bag and just deposited it in the cabinet where I keep all my medicines. It is possible that the pharmacist said something about the medication being different to the Exfactor, but if he did, he neglected to tell me. I think the pharmacist didn't say anything, because the Exfactor would not have forgotten something as crucial as that.

I didn't realize the medication was different until the very morning after I had used up the batch of the previous medicines. I read the enclosed information sheet and figured it was okay and took my usual two tablets, expecting them to work as they normally do. Imagine my surprise when they didn't.

When I talked to my psychiatrist that day and he told me that those medicines had not been prescribed to me and that I should go back to the pharmacy. He did say that the new medicines should work the same as the old ones, but I knew that they did not. At that time, we both believed that it was a mistake that the pharmacist had made and that I would come home with the right medicines.

When I did not, it was too late to call my psychiatrist and to be sure, I took an extra dose of the new medication at night, hoping that would help, but the next day I realized that it had not. When I talked to my psychiatrist that day he suggested doubling the dose, but I told him that I had already tried that. I think he realized that I had lost faith in the new medication altogether and that this was the reason that he allowed me the option to choose for a whole new anti psychotic, feeling that I would have more faith in that.

I take the new anti psychotic 3 times a day, 5 mg at a time, so that it is slowly building up in my system. The old medication I took all at once. I like the fact that I take this one 3 times a day, because it makes me feel that I am actively doing something to keep the level of medication steady in my body and I look forward to taking the next dose as if it is a little miracle pill that will take my troubles away, which is not far from the truth. It makes me feel very proactive. I am silently cheering it on. I think the anti psychotic and the mood stabilizer are my two most important medicines. I could live without all the other ones maybe, but not without those two.

I needed some more milk today, but I was not up to going to the supermarket, so I went to the little neighborhood market instead and when I walked in, I was met by an overwhelming odor of alcohol and a crowd of people shouting above loud Christmas music. Apparently they were having a Christmas party. Much shouting and laughing was done. I pushed my way through the crowd to the milk and managed to grab a hold of three cartons and also two packs of cookies. There was a woman ahead of me buying loads of sweets and cookies and cakes and she was obviously feeling no pain. She must have been partaking for some time. That's what you get when you live next to a working class neighborhood. Lots of cheer like that and lots of singing and shouting and partaking. It's the stuff that clichés are made of the world over.

I took many naps today and did not accomplish anything but the dishes. When not in balance, sleep, it's the best cure for what ails you. I always feel so much better when I wake up. Sleep really is like a heavy blanket that lies on top of you and covers you from head to toe and separates you from the world. Even the Überhund did not bother me this time.

I am in my pajamas now. The Überhund is sound asleep under the desk, he is snoring. It is a cozy sound. A while ago, he was hungry and I told him to go eat his food, so instead of that, he walked to the cats' dishes and ate all of their food. Stubborn fool. I think he was trying to make a point. It wasn't lost on me.

Have yourself a great night, full of cheer and pre Christmas excitement.

Ciao...