An Odd Day.

I had such an odd day yesterday. You'll remember that I had gotten up in the middle of the night. When I went to take my medicines in the morning, I realized that I had forgotten to take all of them the night before. That may have explained my nearly sleepless night. Then, when I went to take my anti psychotic medication, a new box, I realized it was different than what I had been taking before. It was from the same manufacturer, but it's name was different and it was different in appearance. I took it anyway, because I needed to, and assumed it was okay, because the dosage was the same. After that, I didn't give it another thought.

Sometime during the day, I started to get obsessive thoughts about random people in the street murdering each other with knives and me being witness to that. This changed into thoughts of people breaking into the apartment and wanting to murder me, causing me to hide and, when they could not find me, murdering the Überhund instead. My fantasy went so far that in my head, I was calling the police and describing the perpetrators to them.

You can imagine that these thoughts were very disturbing and I called my psychiatrist to ask him about the medication, which I thought was the cause of these obsessive thoughts. After trying for a few hours, I finally got a hold of him and he told me that I should have gotten the old medication, because that was prescribed to me and that apparently the pharmacy had made a mistake. But he also added, that although the medication that I had was more slowly absorbed in my body, in the end it should have the same effect as my old one.

So, I went to the pharmacy, where I found out that the reason they gave me the new medication was, because my health insurance would no longer pay for my old medication and that, if I still wanted it, it would cost me 250 Euros. Of course, I can't pay that, so I'll have to take the new medication and hope that if I take it at night before I go to bed, it will have enough time to get into my system properly. I think that and remembering to take all my medication and getting enough sleep should sort me out.

You see how everything is so carefully balanced and so dependent on each other. This morning I feel fine and I can think straight again and I don't have any obsessive thoughts.

Yesterday morning, I had my appointment about getting another activity added to my schedule and that went well. I had to talk to someone from a different program altogether, but she basically had the same sort of activities on offer, just for a different sort of clientèle. We quickly decided on a creative therapy class on Thursday mornings, as that was the best she could offer me and that was fine with me. I met the creative therapist who leads the class and he seems like a nice enough person and the group meets in the same space as my other class, so I can work on whatever project I have going. So, that worked out well.

I didn't get any housework done because of my state of mind and found it hard to concentrate on things, so I just sat around and drank mugs of decaf and smoked cigarettes until the Exfactor came by. Together, we tackled the cats and applied flea drops to them. Doing the job with two people meant it was done in no time, as the cats were unsuspecting and had no time to flee. Hardly any resistance was put up.

I didn't let the Exfactor know about my state of mind. I didn't want him to think that I was being creepy. Luckily, he didn't notice anything, because he thought he was coming down with the flu and was trying to find a replacement to work for him that night. As a result, he didn't stay long and soon enough I was on my own again.

I sent my SPN an email explaining my state of mind and the situation and I told her that I would call her today if there was no improvement. I didn't even feel like blogging and watched some inane TV program.

In the evening, I took the Überhund to the vet, who was not happy with his eyes yet and now has given me a different kind of ointment that I have to apply 6 times a day. The Überhund won't mind, because it will mean that 6 times a day he gets an extra snack. It's possible that his eyes won't get better and that this will be a chronic problem. The vet said that he had another dog with the same problem that he had sent to a specialist and the specialist had given up and sent the dog back to him. So, no specialist for us.

After we got home, I put my pajamas on and watched TV, except that I kept falling asleep and I only caught little glimpses of what I was trying to watch. It was all very noncoherent. I don't advise this sort of TV watching. I had been hoping for a good British thriller, but now I'm glad there was none on, because I would have missed most of it.

Looking back on this post, it seems a dry summing up of the facts without humor and emotion. I am sorry about that. I suppose I just want to convey how yesterday went and not get caught up in the feeling of it. As a result, I'm kind of dull. I will try to be more exciting in my next post.

Ciao...