In the nick of time.

I don't know about the rest of you women, but with my advancing age, my bladder control has gone and many times I don't quite make it to the bathroom on time. I wear something for that, but this morning I had an accident and wet myself. I can move as quickly as I can with my legs squeezed together, but still not make it. It's a real bother and I think I will never have another romance because of this, because can you imagine the situation? "Sorry honey, you can't hug me tightly right now, because I've got to go very badly and I mean now."

What a way to open a post, huh? I thought I might just as well tell you right up front. We women suffer silently so many times. It's the same way with being bloated and not fitting into your jeans. Why does that happen? You know if you got the chance, a good session on the toilet would clear up that problem, but how do we do it and which product do we use? There are all these yogurts with good bacteria in them that are supposed to help, but they haven't helped me yet. I drink a herbal laxative tea sometimes and that cleans things up a bit. I have a terrible problem with gas and many times one escapes me in company, silent sometimes, but not always. It's so embarrassing.

You can see how this does not promote a romantic lifestyle and I will not pursue another man until I have these problems under control, although I doubt very much that I ever will.

I am very lucky that I am not romantically inclined right now, and that I am not longing for bodily contact. I am so totally not interested in that. A good conversation, yes. Laughter, yes. Romance, no. Sex, no.

One of the people I get along best in one of my groups is a homosexual and I love the fact that he is a well dressed and attractive man who is not the least bit interested in me as a woman. I am completely safe in his presence, although he always pays attention to how I am dressed and compliments me if he likes what I am wearing, and I always smell his aftershaves and compliment him on those.

This is turning into a very odd post! I don't know where to take it from here. Do I have any more confessions?

No, I think that is it for now. That's okay then, because I have to take my medicines and walk the Überhund.

Mwah!