Friday, May 04, 2012
I've got my shoes...
...and I think that I will be wearing them a lot as long as I'm not wearing a dress on a regular basis. I don't seem to do that very much anymore hooked as I am on skinny jeans. I'll have to wait and see what the weather is going to do in the near future. If it is going to get any warmer and make it necessary for me to wear different clothes or if it's going to stay chilly and rainy like it has been.
Anyway, the walking shoes arrived and I put them on and they fit perfectly. Thank goodness that I'm such an average size by Dutch standards. Usually things fit me just fine. These shoes are great. It is like walking on air cushions. The only problem with them is that my feet do get very warm in them and my feet aren't used to being warm. They are usually on the cold side and that's more comfortable for me.
It may have to do with the fact that these shoes are weather proof and contain a special lining. This means they will be very nice to wear in the wintertime but I wonder how they will be when the weather is hot? I probably won't wear any socks. Maybe that will help.
On another subject, this depression I am fighting is a mean sun of a gun. I have to literally struggle it to the ground and arm wrestle it for position. This one is so evil that I can't give it any space and I don't want to give it any ground to move around on. I will defeat it and I'm not going to give it an inch. I will be more stubborn than it.
At least I got a good start to the day. I woke up early but the sun was already shining in a bright blue sky so the first few hours of my day were pleasant. The first thing I did when I got up was to open the curtains in the living room so I wouldn't have to turn on any lights. Things cheered up immediately and my first cup of coffee tasted good too. The dog slept late so I didn't have to take him out right away.
I can face the first few hours of the day. It's the hours between the morning and the evening that are the hardest. They are when I struggle and I have to try and get through them in the best possible way. Sometimes that is very difficult. Today the Exfactor and the domestic help were here so that helped some.
Now it's almost evening and the day is coming to an end. I am no longer discouraged but see the sense of being alive again for just a little while. It will last long enough until it's time to go to bed. I just imagine my soul standing up very straight and being very powerful and resilient. It's bending in the storm, not breaking. It has to be strong and flexible enough to withstand any kind of force.
If there was ever a time to believe in myself, then this is it. I hope I have the faith to do that.