Medicines and Moods.

Since the Welbutrin is playing havoc with my moods, going up and down and up again in a severe way, we have decided that I'm going off it and will be reducing it starting tomorrow. At the same time, I've started increasing the Effexor today to 187.5 mg. That sounds funny, but there's a pill of 37.5 mg in there, which is half of 75 mg. I will maybe increase it to 225 mg or 300 mg. Not ever again to another mega dose of 450 mg and not ever again with another antidepressant such as Remeron.

This is all done under the supervision of my psychiatrist, of course, who is going to call me Friday at 2 o'clock, and I am to take this as a big learning experience and never ever change anything about my medicines single handedly again. Any change that is made, we make together, just as today when I was asked for my input and was listened to. It's teamwork and we all have to agree.

My SPN is going on vacation for 2.5 weeks starting tomorrow and my psychiatrist and I are going to be on our own, but are determined to make a success of it without her. We will be in contact with each other a lot while she is gone. I've known that she was going on vacation for a long time and had it written down in my agenda, so it would not take me by surprise. We have lived toward the day that she would leave and talked about it as an ordinary fact, so that it would be comfortable. Besides 2.5 weeks are going to be gone by in no time at all and I have an appointment for the day after she comes back.

Tyke had a can of Pedigree for dinner tonight, which he loved, of course, but then he got very upset at Toby for licking from the empty can that was standing on the kitchen counter. He came to get me, that's how upset he was. He's been surprisingly quiet the rest of the night, sleeping a lot, no doubt feeling so full that he doesn't have the energy for anything else. This was an exception to the rule, he's not going to get this very often, but he certainly appreciated it. Only Jesker ate it with more appetite when he was still well.

I was sitting on the sofa tonight a little before 8 o'clock, waiting for the news to come on, and I toppled over and went to sleep until 10 o'clock. It was very nice to fall asleep, but now I'm wide awake, of course, and I have to wait until I get sleepy again. It doesn't matter, I don't mind being up for a while in the quiet of the middle of the night. You all know that I appreciate that time of the night, just as long as I go to sleep at one point and don't postpone it forever. Huge amounts of feelings of guilt are attached to that, because I'm supposed to do my best to stick to a schedule.

This is such an informative yet boring post, that I'm threatening to write another one immediately. There has to be some feeling and humor and emotion too, right? That's what I was thinking. I hope you all have a blog reader that keeps track of the posts that I've written, otherwise it gets so confusing.

Have a good sleep, all of you. Unless you're not quite ready for that...

Ciao,

Nora