Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Instead of being at creative therapy, I'm sitting here behind the computer wasting my time, while I should be at the supermarket doing the grocery shopping now that I have the chance. I haven't made a list yet, but most of it is ready in my head and I just need to get a pen and a piece of paper and start jotting it down.
The reason that I'm not at therapy is, that the Exfactor was here this morning and we had so much talking to do and so many cups of coffee to drink and so many cigarettes to smoke, that the time got away from me and then it was too late and I thought, "Oh, what the heck," and it was raining too, so I didn't feel like going out in it.
So I called in sick, which was a little white lie, but it does give me more time today to do the groceries and sweep the floors and go see my SPN and go to the pharmacy and maybe do another three chores while I'm at it. I'm more than willing and able.
The weather is blustery, it is windy and cloudy and it keeps looking like it will rain and it is supposed to also. I'm hoping to keep it dry, but with my luck, I'll be hit with a shower just as I am halfway to somewhere and I don't have any rain gear. Can you believe that? A Dutch woman who doesn't even have a raincoat? I have two leather jackets but no raincoat. Tsk!
I got up at 7 am, but I didn't have enough sleep and fell asleep again on the sofa for an hour, after I had unsuccessfully tried to wake up with a mug of coffee. I was peeping at the world through my eyelashes and I sat around like a wrung out dish cloth. I felt better after I woke up the second time and got myself ready in a jiffy. Even my hair did what it was supposed to and I didn't poke my eye out with the mascara brush.
In my bag of "too small to wear" clothes, I found a leopard print top that I had only worn once, because I had not tried it on when I bought it and it had really been too small. I pulled it out and tried it on and it fits perfectly and I like it, because it's like I've been shopping without spending the money. I have to have another look in that bag and also in my very full closet and see what else I can find there.
I'm not going to the store to buy anything, but luckily, I'm now the size that most of my clothes are, if not a little smaller, but everything fits comfortably. Some of the bigger clothes I can take out of my closet and put in another bag for the recycle store. I'll trade them for a bike, yeah!
I'm not losing any weight. I think I've hit a plateau and that my body wants to stay at this weight that I am now, which is kind of convenient, because all my clothes fit me and I do look decent. I can't go out and buy new clothes, so maybe it is just as well. I'm not eating too much, which is impossible, but I'm eating enough to stay healthy. I'm going to add yogurt to my diet starting today, because I do miss eating something like that and I do want a little bit of variety.
The trick is not to despair and to accept yourself the way you are, if that's the way it works out. I'm completely at ease with myself and can live with myself the way I am now. It's true, I'd like to lose some more weight, but if I don't then that's okay too. I'm not pudgy and I don't dislike seeing myself in the mirror. That has been different.
Well, now I have to go and walk Jesker and make my shopping list and go to the store and buy many healthy things to eat. The hard part is getting them all home on my wacky bike.
Have a great day, don't get wet and cold, or maybe you'd prefer that in this hot summer.