Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Forgetting Time...


Jesker is so busy sleeping that he is forgetting that it's past his time to go for a walk and I'm not going to remind him, but just let him soundly sleep on his blanket and wait to see what will happen when he wakes up all confused as to what time of the day it is.

He ate his dinner with great appetite a while ago, after barking at me for thinking I had forgotten about it, but he was just a little bit ahead of me, because I didn't get home until 3 pm this afternoon and immediately had to entertain the neighbor lady who was waiting for her taxi. This was after I maneuvered my bike safely into the hallway without bumping into Jesker who was happy to see me and wanted to show me how much immediately.

Luckily, Gandhi was not at the front door, because she would have escaped into the stairwell and I would have had to go up after her or wait for her to come back down again. Sometimes that works and I leave the front door ajar and she walks back in on her own. I don't know where she was this afternoon, but she's sound asleep on the sofa now.

I've found out, that despite all my good intentions, I do not clean house when I get home after 3 pm in the afternoon. I'm happy to be home and walk Jesker and have a mug of coffee or a glass of juice, but the thought of getting the dusting rag out and the vacuum cleaner is more than I can handle. I just don't want to do any chores, while you would think that creative therapy would not be that emotionally draining, but for some reason it is and when I get home, I feel tired and not willing to do any work.

When I got to creative therapy, I got my painting out that I had started on a few weeks ago and went and got a plate of acrylic colors, bu then I sat there and felt a huge panic coming up and it was as if I wanted to run out of the room as quickly as I could, which did not go unnoticed by the therapist, who then removed the painting and the paint and gave me coloring markers and mandalas and had me color those instead for the rest of the morning.

This was good, because it was simple and calmed me down and I could just focus on coloring them as well as I could without it becoming complicated, so the panic dissipated and disappeared in the end.

Then, for our one hour break, I had a long conversation with one of the other women in my group and we talked about many things that were near to our hearts and it made the hour go by very quickly. It was good to talk about the things we talked about and I felt better afterwards. It was a relief and a release. That's how you can be there for each other. It's very mutual.

During the second half of therapy I doodled, not on a large piece of paper, but on an 8 by 10, which was just the right size for me at that moment. I'm going to color it in with coloring markers and there are some neat colors, so I look forward to that. Isn't it strange how in that class I can't seem to do anything complicated? It may be the atmosphere in the room, or the therapist, but I feel more fragile there, as if I can't do anything monumental. It all has to be little work. No sculptures and no collages.

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I've just walked Jesker. He woke up and wanted to be petted, but after that he wanted his outing, make no mistake about it. So we went on our merry way and when we were half way home again, it started to rain and it is raining pretty hard now, but oh, so cozy inside. We didn't get very wet, as the rain splatters were far apart when it started and we ran home. It's not cold outside, so it is a pleasant rain and good for the grass that is growing on the fields where there is a green haze now. Every day it is a little greener.

I have to stop writing now, because I want to watch the 8 pm news, otherwise I feel so uninformed. I must turn off the computer and do something else for a while.

I hope you all have a very nice evening and that you've enjoyed your day. I've enjoyed my new bike.

Ciao...


8 comments:

Frances said...

good that therapist was alert and saved the moment. that sculpture is very interesting. What sort of size is it?

hugs
xxxx

jeannette stgermain said...

It's okay Irene! Every artist goes through those periods sometimes, that all they feel like doing is uncomplicated stuff - no big complicated things. Your sculptures look awesome on your table! Whoo, I'm proud to be your friend:)

Elesje said...

Ingrid is een fijne therapeute, kan situaties goed inschatten en op inspelen. fijn dat ze dat bij jou ook zo snel door heeft gehad...

Mandala's inkleuren is ook rustgevend, werkt bij mij ook vaak.
Soms is het ook de sfeer die in een ruimte hangt waar ik gevoelig voor bent of de mensen die op dat moment mijn buurt zijn en waar ik dan de emoties van oppikt. Daar kan mijn stemming echt van omslaan.

Het gesprek in de pauze heeft mij ook goed gedaan. Ik vind het heel prettig om met jou te praten. Jij hebt veel inzicht, ervaring en door deze gesprekken krijg ik ook meer inzicht in mijn eigen handelen, doen en laten en denkwijze.

In je verhalen komt iedere keer weer heel duidelijk naar voren hoe blij jij bent met je huisdieren. Dat doet mij zo goed om dat te lezen. Zelf heb ik 2 honden en dus ook dierengek, soms op het extreme af(kan ik ook wel weer in doorschieten Pff, nog een probleem hahahaha)

fijne avond en tot morgen.

groetjes lil

Maggie May said...

That sculpture reminds me of a little fawn lying down with it's head up and looking. I like it.
Not all complicated things are the best. Sometimes its the simple things.
Goodnight X

Dave King said...

Interesting to hear you remark that the 8 X 10 was just the right size for you at that moment. This is something I have often thought. So often artists choose the size for the work they have in mind when it might better be chosen for themselves.

SugarCain said...

Irene, I work on very small pieces so that I can carry them with me for the boring or stressful times. I'm glad the therapist caught your mood and helped relieve the anxiety.

Gail said...

You should declare a evening off when you have worked a long time. Enjoy your house mates and the evening.

Maureen said...

Yes, there is a time for small pieces; I found it very enjoyable to doodle in my small moleskine... I can get out the creative juices quickly.