Forgetting Time...

Jesker is so busy sleeping that he is forgetting that it's past his time to go for a walk and I'm not going to remind him, but just let him soundly sleep on his blanket and wait to see what will happen when he wakes up all confused as to what time of the day it is.

He ate his dinner with great appetite a while ago, after barking at me for thinking I had forgotten about it, but he was just a little bit ahead of me, because I didn't get home until 3 pm this afternoon and immediately had to entertain the neighbor lady who was waiting for her taxi. This was after I maneuvered my bike safely into the hallway without bumping into Jesker who was happy to see me and wanted to show me how much immediately.

Luckily, Gandhi was not at the front door, because she would have escaped into the stairwell and I would have had to go up after her or wait for her to come back down again. Sometimes that works and I leave the front door ajar and she walks back in on her own. I don't know where she was this afternoon, but she's sound asleep on the sofa now.

I've found out, that despite all my good intentions, I do not clean house when I get home after 3 pm in the afternoon. I'm happy to be home and walk Jesker and have a mug of coffee or a glass of juice, but the thought of getting the dusting rag out and the vacuum cleaner is more than I can handle. I just don't want to do any chores, while you would think that creative therapy would not be that emotionally draining, but for some reason it is and when I get home, I feel tired and not willing to do any work.

When I got to creative therapy, I got my painting out that I had started on a few weeks ago and went and got a plate of acrylic colors, bu then I sat there and felt a huge panic coming up and it was as if I wanted to run out of the room as quickly as I could, which did not go unnoticed by the therapist, who then removed the painting and the paint and gave me coloring markers and mandalas and had me color those instead for the rest of the morning.

This was good, because it was simple and calmed me down and I could just focus on coloring them as well as I could without it becoming complicated, so the panic dissipated and disappeared in the end.

Then, for our one hour break, I had a long conversation with one of the other women in my group and we talked about many things that were near to our hearts and it made the hour go by very quickly. It was good to talk about the things we talked about and I felt better afterwards. It was a relief and a release. That's how you can be there for each other. It's very mutual.

During the second half of therapy I doodled, not on a large piece of paper, but on an 8 by 10, which was just the right size for me at that moment. I'm going to color it in with coloring markers and there are some neat colors, so I look forward to that. Isn't it strange how in that class I can't seem to do anything complicated? It may be the atmosphere in the room, or the therapist, but I feel more fragile there, as if I can't do anything monumental. It all has to be little work. No sculptures and no collages.

--------------------

I've just walked Jesker. He woke up and wanted to be petted, but after that he wanted his outing, make no mistake about it. So we went on our merry way and when we were half way home again, it started to rain and it is raining pretty hard now, but oh, so cozy inside. We didn't get very wet, as the rain splatters were far apart when it started and we ran home. It's not cold outside, so it is a pleasant rain and good for the grass that is growing on the fields where there is a green haze now. Every day it is a little greener.

I have to stop writing now, because I want to watch the 8 pm news, otherwise I feel so uninformed. I must turn off the computer and do something else for a while.

I hope you all have a very nice evening and that you've enjoyed your day. I've enjoyed my new bike.

Ciao...