Sunday, July 05, 2009

HIgh Noon!

I've had one mug of coffee and a tall glass of fruit juice since I've been up and clearly that's not enough, so I have to make up the shortage quickly. I just made myself a double Senseo and its creaminess is beckoning me to drink it while still too hot. Do I risk a burned tongue?

I'm so glad today is Sunday and nothing is really expected of me. I have to put the clean dishes away, but that will be done in one minute's time, and I have to water the plants, which I neglected to do yesterday, and that is another minute's time. I've already walked Jesker the long way around and called my older sister and wrote emails and read some blogs.

The Exfactor is not coming over. I've called him off. I had such a good time while he was gone on his vacation and I didn't see him for ten days, that I didn't really want to see him again. He had gotten into the habit of coming here twice a week for a cup of coffee and I don't really want that anymore. I told him I wanted to see him if it was really necessary and not just to sit and chat about nothing over a cup of coffee.

We never have very important conversations anyway, because the Exfactor doesn't share a lot and he doesn't listen well to me. I want to be more independent of him and not rely on him for every little thing that goes wrong. I don't want him to assume that he can just drop in here whenever, letting himself in with his own keys.

The experiment with the Oxazepam failed. Yesterday afternoon I noticed that I became very agitated and uneasy and I immediately took the missing dose and very quickly felt much better. I suppose that after a few days my body started to notice the difference and wanted what was missing. I don't know why I get it in my head to change doses anyway, while everything is working fine. I guess I always want to prove to myself that I can do with less, especially since the Oxazepam sometimes tends to make me feel sleepy.

Although that may be intrinsic to myself and part of my mood changes. It seems I get very tired before I have a mood change, possibly before I get hypomanic, and I need to keep an eye on that.

I feel sleepy right now, but I refuse to go and lie down, though the sofa beckons. I won't do it unless I teeter from sleepiness. I slept very well last night and although the alarm clock went off at seven, I have no memory of shutting it off and slept until 10 am. So did Jesker on his pillow beside the bed.

By the way, his eyes are looking very good. There is no redness below his upper eyelids and I think that for now the infection is gone, though I keep applying the ointment and I won't rest easy until we've seen the vet. It will be a minor miracle if it's gone. I worried about him getting a bath and it irritating his eyes, but I needed not have been. If anything, it seemed to have helped.

Laurie's Boscoe just turned fourteen and he has diabetes as well as cataracts, but he seems to be doing great and it gives me great hope for Jesker who is twelve. Cocker Spaniels don't get that old, but I hope to have Jesker with me for a few more years.

Well, I guess I'll go do some ironing and the other little chores now. Three chores and then I can sit down again, that's the rule. I hope I don't give out ahead of time.

Have a lovely day. I'll be back here later.



Gail said...

I have forgotten to mention how I love your new cut. I believe I shall ask my sister today to cut my hair very short for the hot weather.

You are becoming a very well put together person, I am very proud and you give me hope.

Maggie May said...

All that talk of ironing makes me realize that I have a basketful waiting to be done. Just as I thought I'd have a little rest!
Just got back from town. Yesterday I chose some books with a token I had been given and all the computers had gone down. So the man in the store put them to one side & said I could come in & pay today, which I did.

Although I am pleased that you are getting independent, don't put the Exfactor off altogether as he is very kind when you have been ill.
It pays to have him as a friend, I think.
Jesker's eyes look good.
Have a restful afternoon.

Frances said...

echo to Maggie May
Exfactor has a role to play sometimes.
Maybe like the meds, you need to be careful about cutting people out suddenly only to find out that it was a mistake a while down the road. Human beings can't always be picked up again like meds from the pharmacy when you realise you made a mistake.
He is flexible and independent, so keep that little connection. You may want him to take his stuff away one day... LOL

aims said...

Just catching up after having been at my brother's for 3 days.

I see you taking steps that prove how strong you are Irene. I understand totally about the xfactor. Having been abused myself there does come a time when you can step away and take big huge breaths yourself and feel the freedom. It is like - ahh- finally!

You don't need him dropping by just because. I'd be clinging to that freedom as well and reveling in it! I agree with 'only if needed'.

laurie said...

good for you for realizing you needed your meds and taking them. excellent. your talk of creamy senseo makes me want a cup of coffee.... maybe i'll have iced coffee. it's pretty warm out, and i'm just back from walking riley.

i bet jesker hangs on til 14! or longer! he's a small dog, and a healthy one. border collies don't often make it to fourteen, either, but boscoe ain't going anywhere for a while...

Babaloo said...

Hope you had a relaxing Sunday! :)

Glad Jesker's eyes are better.

I've had a fairly busy Sunday, had to do grocery shopping as we had barely anything in the fridge and my sister-in-law is coming to stay for 2 weeks tomorrow. Plus, did 2 loads of washing. And unpacked my bag. Sigh. That's enough for a Sunday isn't it?

I agree with some of the others here, too. Don't cut the Exfactor off completely. We all know what he's been like when you were still together but he's also been very helpful with a lot of things. You may want to keep that connection...

Wisewebwoman said...

Hi Irene:
I have to watch that trait in myself too, cutting people off too quickly so I rah-rah what's been said already. You may feel you're using the XF but it is a two way street, he's getting something out of it too whether it's only his caretaking trait.
Friends start to get thin on the ground as we age. We need them.

Grit said...

i tend to agree with the flow here; allies are needed sometimes (and i would miss the ex factor too, now!). you look so fab in your photo with the dashing red beads and hair style. very chic! i shall be bolder here with my look. you are quite an influence on us, irene!

Maureen said...

I am so glad to hear Jesker's eyes are on the mend! He sure is lucky to have a compassionate, caring person looking after him.

My Sunday was spent making some cards, laundry and caring for a sick daughter and hubby. With both of them coughing all night, I barely got four hours sleep last night.

I do believe I need to hit the sack early tonight.... too bad I need to hear my alarm; otherwise I would invest in some earplugs.