Tuesday, July 28, 2009

In the meantime...

Well, here I am again, somewhat late in the evening, finally getting around to writing a post I have been playing with Ubuntu, which I have installed again on my computer and I'm trying to get various things to work and that is just the kind of job I needed for today to keep me occupied.

Of course, I'm running into also sorts of frustrations, which I can't solve right away, so I have to tell myself to be patient and just move back and forth between Windows for my emails and Ubuntu for the rest. I'm getting quite good at that. I tell the computer to shut off and start up again and I click on the different program.

I wrote my SPN an email telling her I was therapy fatigued and that I was holing up in my apartment letting the world go by and hibernating and not participating in life. She wrote me back saying that I should contact the head therapist of the clinic where I have my therapies and tell her about my therapy fatigue, so she and I could make some sort of plan of action about that.

So I called her this afternoon and we made an appointment to talk on Thursday afternoon and 2 pm. It may be that I'll take a break or it may be that I'll stop the therapies all together, we'll see. I don't care very much one way or the other right now. Well, actually, I wouldn't mind if I were to quit now. I've had about enough of it and it shows in the work I've been doing lately. My heart's not in it anymore.

I have to write an email to my SPN telling her about this and explaining to her why I have gone in a hibernating mode, but actually, I'm quite contend and I don't care if I stay this way for a while. The hard part is explaining to people why you just don't care very much at the moment and why you are taking a break from life.

The Exfactor came to my rescue and hardly needed any explanation and took Jesker for a walk and then we had coffee and talked about cheerful things, like cats and dogs and animals in the meadows and birds in the sky and bats that fly around at night where he lives. So that was easy.

I wore my leggings and my tank top that I had slept in and hadn't combed my hair and I didn't care. There I was in all my glory and I didn't give a hoot. The queen herself could have come by and I could not have cared less.

This Ubuntu program is fascinating and it keeps you going back to it trying to work it all out. The thing is that it starts up very quickly and has a lot of its own extras that you can add as you need them. You don't need a virus scanner, as for some reason, nobody bothers to write viruses for it.

I have to download all my music to it with a USB stick and do the same with my photographs. That will be a little bit of work. I'll be busy for some days yet. Rome was not built in one day. It's important to keep that in mind. Lest I become obsessed with it and then I'll have a whole other problem on my hands.

So you see, I'm not in the least depressed. Just antisocial. Not interested in the world around me and not willing to be part of it. One of these days I'll get back into it, just not right now. I'm taking a holiday and pretending I am incommunicado.

Have a nice evening all of you,



Maggie May said...

Not sure what this Ubunto is....

I think the Exfactor seems to have good intuition about how you are feeling at any given time.

Maybe you have outgrown your therapies but isn't it a bit drastic giving up all the classes together? Why not just cut down gradually?
Are you sure you are not depressed? Sounds like you might be the tiniest bit.

Hope you get a good nights rest. X

Frances said...

Glad to hear you contacted the SPN and that you will be discussing the therapy fatigue with the professionals. By then you may have regained your energies.

I remember you trying out Ubunto before. Interesting, things go in circles.

Gail said...

Feast or famine, which shall you choose? Entirely up to you, my dear as long as you keep talking to me!
Talking and rearranging things may help, if it wasn't every day, maybe you could look forward to it again.

Wisewebwoman said...

I'm hoping I'm wrong dearest Irene but I sense the black dog pacing a little on the horizon.
I'm glad you're meeting with the therapist.
Sweet dreams.

Babaloo said...

It's great you have a meeting sorted out for today actually (I'm a bit behind in reading your posts, sorry!).

You sound like Felix when he's 'working' on his computer. All he is doing really is installing things and trying to get other things to work. Ubuntu is great and I'm sure you'll get your email to work as well, shouldn't be too hard eh?

Maureen said...

Hmmm... I remember you trying Ubuntu before. Hope it goes better for you this time.