Wednesday, April 29, 2009

What did I tell you?

I have such a hard time waking up in the morning. The alarm clock wakens me out of a deep sleep and I need at least an hour to pull myself back into the land of the living because I have been so sound asleep. I sleep like a bear in hibernation. Quite befuddled I sit on the sofa with my mug of coffee and forget to drink it while I try to remember who I am and which day I am living in. In the meantime the Überhund wants my attention and rubs his head against my hands repeatedly and I absentmindedly rub his ears, but woe is me if I stop.

I smoke my cigarettes, but I am unable to get a fresh mug of coffee and sit with my half cold one and just don't know what to do. The minutes tick away and it keeps getting closer to eight AM, when I absolutely need to get in the starting blocks, which I then do, quite suddenly and then there is no stopping me. I go on automatic pilot and do all the things I need to do in the correct order, so I won't forget anything.

It isn't really until after I've walked the dog that I'm fully awake and can say I am present and accounted for. Then I look at the clock to see how many minutes I have left to have another cup of coffee and if I can afford to be a few minutes late and how quickly I need to ride my bike without having an accident. I figure I can decently be five minutes late and it is not really a big deal. Anything past that is rude.

During the break in ergo therapy, I met the new creative therapist for Tuesdays and we told her honestly that I had been intimidated to come, but she was ever so nice and took the time to show me around the room and showed me all the different projects I could try working on, which made me quite excited, because I saw things there that I had not seen in the other creative space. Working with lino cuts for example, which I am already sure that I am going to try first and working with Arabian gum and water and ink, which makes real nice effects and all sorts of other things. I was like a kid in the candy shop.

But...we must address this initial fear I have to start new things, because I am going to keep running into this problem and not everywhere in life people are going to be as patient and understanding with me, so I have to develop new strategies. I have fear of the unknown.

After ergo therapy, I had a one hour break, but luckily, so had a bunch of other people and the weather was nice, so we sat out on the deck in the sunshine and I ate four pieces of nougat that I still had in my purse from an outing with Von. I had also been smart enough to bring my one PM medications and remembered to take those. Sometimes I amaze myself.

At 1:30 PM we went down to the rec room for elementary movements, which is moving sensually to ethnic music, that's the only way to describe it. You will probably remember that I tried this once before and gave up on it, but I was bound and determined to get it right this time. Much to my surprise, I got the really hard movement right, which is moving your hips up and down while moving them back and forth and sideways, while not loosing your rhythm and then walking and stomping your feet along with it.

This is very hard to do, because you have to concentrate on so many things, firstly on your whole body stance and alignment. After you've done it for a while. you feel that you've tensed up and you have to relax and shake it all about and realign and start all over again. In between we danced loosely however we wanted to very happy music as wild as we wanted. I need some practice in this. I have a very Calvinistic body. It's not very wild.

We ended with a meditation, which was nice and relaxing and I was home by three PM, full of energy and took the dog for a walk, who had been impatiently waiting for me to get home, because he was right at the door when I opened it.

After that, I had a cup of coffee and sat down for a while, reading my mail and looking at my almost clean living room. I still need to mop the floors, but I got a lot done yesterday and will continue tomorrow morning, which is a day off, because it is Queen's Day.

Toby is very much better. He no longer has a snotty, runny nose and his eyes are clear. He only sneezes a little bit now, but you can see that there has been a vast improvement. He no longer makes that awful sound when he breathes and he wants lots of affection. And here I was ready to give up on him, that's how sick he was. Good old Toby.

The Exfactor came by for a quick cup of coffee and after that I somehow found the energy to go grocery shopping, because I was all out of milk. I can't live without milk. I also bought a six pack of Cola Light, but hadn't realized that Cola straight from the can would interfere something awful with my gastric band and two swallows from it made me feel like I had had a super meal and I felt a huge burp that was stuck there, but wouldn't come out. I poured the Cola in a glass and waited for all the bubbles to dissipate before I drank the rest of it. Flat Cola is the best.

Now it's time to bring the evening to an end. The day sure went by quickly, I feel like there were not enough hours in it. I need to put my pajamas on and relax behind the dumb box for a while. Tomorrow is another day and I get to sleep in. We'll see what time I naturally get up without the alarm clock.

Sleep tight, all you sweet people, sorry you don't have a holiday tomorrow.



jeannette stgermain said...

Don't remind me of it, LOL, that we-USA- don't have a holiday tomorrow - on such days I feel very Dutch!!! I laughed at your expression "Calvinistic body", aren't you supposed to have a Catholic body, because you live in Limburg? At least 20 years ago- Or have times changed?
You ate nougat??? I am so jealous! Can't really find it here - and if they have something comparable, it tastes like rubber.
Glad you are over your fear of the new therapist - art has a way of doing that (with creative people like yourself).
Een fijne Koninginnedag toegewenst!
Long live Queen Beatrix!

Maggie May said...

So pleased Toby is almost better.
Glad the Ergo went well. There will be no stopping you now with the lino cuts and other things.
Pity about Queen day that we won't have in England, but we do have May Day next Monday! Yay!

Have a really good night's sleep and a lovely lie in! X

aims said...

A holiday is nice only that it would mean I could spend the day with The Man.

Otherwise most of my days are holidays anyway and I get to do whatever I want.

Have a good one dear friend.

Anonymous said...

I love your line about your "Calvinistic body" too - very descriptive and very funny!

As for holidays, we have Victoria Day in Canada on May 18, which was meant to celebrate the birthday of - you guessed it! - old Queen Victoria. It's always the third Monday of May, so I have no clue as to what the old gal's actual birthdate is. But I'm glad she was born, because I'll get the day off with pay!

Anonymous said...

Thankyou for your visits Irene. I enjoy them and I enjoy getting over here when I can. My kids are back at school again and I am catching up on all the things I didn't do while they were home for school holidays. Visiting blogs is one of them. I am pleased to hear about your creativity class, It sounds like a lot of fun and I hope you enjoy getting clay on your hands and paint in your hair. Thankyou for your kind comments. I do think of you even when I havn't visited for a while.
Face book is neglected for well!

Lisa Sarsfield said...

Oh I meant to say thanks for the translation. I did think it was dutch but could only guess at most words. April is still April although May is Mei?
An interesting find all the same!

Frances said...

Good for you and your Calvinist body. Maybe you have inherited some cautiousness which goes against your wild subconscious?
Sometimes it is better to take your time to feel comfortable about things. It is a natural protection of sorts.
Lino cuts and printing are real fun.

Love and hugs

Tessa said...

Listening and dancing to that music will surely rid you of the Calvaninistic body approach, Irene. I'm sure that in no time at all, you'll be boogying like the bootiest Mama in town!

What a fun and thoroughly satisfying day you had - I was excited to read about the new therapist and all the ideas for creativity. The Arabian gum, water and ink combination sounds really interesting and lino cutting is wonderful, especially when revealing the finished effect. Don't forget, please, to post photos of your creations?

Maureen said...

Good old Toby indeed! Great news! Love the macro photos; so very cool and something we could never do just a few years ago...