Friday, April 10, 2009

A heck of a Friday.

I've decided that I don't like sculpting with clay anymore. I was working on a piece and I was very unhappy with it and said so to the therapist, so she said, "No problem," and took it and the rest of the clay and dropped and pounded it into a solid block again, so that I could start something new.

That was great, but the problem is that I am not the least bit inspired and don't feel the least bit gifted and think that I will never make anything resembling a halfway decent sculpture again.

I tried to copy something and it left me extremely frustrated and I wanted to walk away from it and go home, and then I tried to use my own imagination and make something of my own and it is not working out at all and I want to take the whole thing and drop and pound it back into a solid block of clay and never look at it again as long as I live. And that's what I think I will do next week and just turn my back on it. I'm sick of it, I tell you.

So, except for the coffee break and the time before we started to work, when I sat and chatted with the other people in the happy April sun, the whole morning was a complete waste of time. I felt like a klutz with two left hands and not an ounce of talent in her body, who was manhandling the clay into abnormally shaped proportions that made no sense whatsoever and had no redeeming qualities. A kindergärtner could have done better.

So, the next time it is back to the collages and hopefully I still have the talent and inspiration to make those, though I think I have run out of creativity. It's disappeared out of me as if I am a bucket with a leak in the bottom and the bucket has run dry. I don't know if the old tricks will work anymore, but I'll give it a try. Maybe it is time to find something new, but what in the world that should be, I have no idea.

Oh yes, an altered book, I can try that. That is something I have been interested in trying for some time, though I don't know if I know enough about it to do it successfully. I may give that a try, though my resources are limited. I'll give it a good thought this week and investigate it a little bit. Lisa Sarsfield knows much about them.

After such a lousy morning, I was more than ready for my afternoon and after I walked the Überhund and fed him his Butcher's, I walked to the bus stop and caught the bus downtown. The first thing I did, was exchange the leggings I bought last week that were much to big on me and I managed to find some in various colors in the right sizes.

Since the weather was so beautiful and since it was Good Friday and a holiday for many Europeans, downtown was extremely crowded and I had to shuffle along through the crowd of people, while I made my way to the Our Dear Lady Square. When I finally got there, I had to try and find Von in the throng of people and tables and chairs, but she found me and we managed to find two empty chairs at a table along the side of the square under the canopy in the shade, which was good because the sun was hot.

After I had my obligatory cappuccino, I had a Wyckse Witte, which is a pale beer served cold with a slice of lemon and mighty tasty. It was so good, that I had a second one, but I do have to emphasize that I make them last a long time, I don't guzzle them down.

We discussed men. Is there a better subject to discuss on a lazy Friday afternoon on a café terrace with a beer in your hands? I explained to Von the type of man I would fall for, so she could be on the look out for him. I don't think he exists in this town, because I've never seen him, so I am fairly safe. She won't suddenly show up with him in her wake.

When Von went to the restroom, there was a man who asked if he could sit beside me when there were other chairs free, so that was interesting. I had to tell him that the chair was taken. That was a close one.

We walked through town to where she had parked her bike and suddenly she popped into a flower shop and came out with a bunch of yellow tulips for me. I thought that was very sweet. I have them sitting in a tall orange vase on my desk, looking very festive.

I had forgotten my house keys and had to go to my sister's house to get the spare keys and by the time I got home, the Überhund was very happy to see me, but I was beat. I made myself a mocha Senseo and rested my feet that hurt from walking on the cobblestones. My little toe was very sore and needed tender loving care.

The Exfactor had been by and dropped off a measuring cup, which I had asked for, a pack of Senseo pads decaf and a box of cookies, some of which I shared with the dog. They were a quick pick me up which I badly needed.

After I recovered sufficiently, I took the Überhund for his walk and returned the spare keys to my sister and now I vow that I will not do another strenuous thing for the rest of the day. Except for clean up some cat barf that I discovered by the coffee table and that looks like it's going to be tough to clean up. It's on the area rug and it looks orange.

The City Government had a great idea to make all the downtown street authentic and cobblestone them, but they are a pain to walk on and after a while your feet hurt, unless you wear hiking boots. Forget anything with a heel. They get stuck between the cracks. I wore my flat comfortable boots today, but still my feet hurt. Not such a good idea, huh?

I don't know how to grade this day, I give part of it a 5 and part of it a 7. It was a very mixed day and now I think I need some peace and quiet. Tomorrow I have to do some grocery shopping, not much, but enough to get me through the 2 days of Easter. By rights I should have some chocolate, but I may forgo that.

I had my camera with me, but forgot to take pictures and Eduard hasn't sent me any, so no pictures to day. I'm too lazy to go look through all the folders for some appropriate ones.

Have a great evening, we never did get the thunder showers that were promised.



jeannette stgermain said...

Irene, don't dispair. Every artist goes through that feeling that you can't do anything right. I did one painting over 5 times, before it looked like "something."
so, take a brake from sculpting, and get back to it, when you feel like doing something new.
Happy Easter to you, Irene!

Gail said...

We all have the down times. I cannot paint and yet my sister, Beverly, calls me an artist. I like the act of painting more than I ever like the end product. When you do not like the feel of clay, leave it for awhile and it may call you back.
Happy Easter.

Maureen said...

I have many, many times of lack of creativity... if I do not feel in the proper mood to draw or paint, I simply don't even try. I know how frustrating it can be.

You will get it back; don't push it and it will appear quite suddenly and unexpectedly.

Happy Easter Irene!

Breakfast in California said...

Don't know if I've mentioned this already but your photo at the top makes me smile. It's like a school of tiny fish with large orange eyes, swimming in a sparkling sea.

Anonymous said...

Never doubt your artistic talents. Clay is tough, especially in the begining. It takes lots of practice and I think you have to be in the right mind set or you over think the project. It sounds like a good idea to take a break from it, but I do hope you try again.

Von sounds so nice. What a wonderful surprise to get fresh flowers. I love them, they make a house look so much more cheerful. Makes you really feel Spring is around the corner.

Get some rest this weekend and I would eat a bit of Easter Chocolate. You deserve it.

Wisewebwoman said...

Happy Easter, Irene, yellow tulips in an orange vase are just so PERFECT!

Frances said...

glad the day went okay after the disappointment with the clay. If you have the patience, try again, you never know - it might be like some other endeavours, really worth the effort eventually. Possibly it's just not your bag.
lovely time with your friend.