Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Create a new post.

It's funny, but I see those words and I get the urge to do just that and I give into it with some amount of pleasure. Not that I think beforehand what in the world I am going to write about, oh no! I just want to sit down and create a new post, because the possibility exists. It's the same as when you get a new diary and you open it up and there is the first unwritten new page, and you know you have to write something stupendous on it with your best pen and you try to think of something really good and you just start writing and hope that in the end it will be the greatest thing you ever wrote.

Well, sometimes that's the way I feel when I see the words "create a new post." I can't resist those words and I have to write and think that I will create something the way a godhead created earth, with passion and conviction and totally new in its origins. That's what every writer thinks when he sits down with all of his fired up emotions and his head full of verbs and nouns and adverbs and adjectives that nobody in their dull little head has ever had the courage to combine before. It's like he is about to conduct a very large symphony orchestra and make a tumultuous sound that will tear open the heavens.

Do you ever feel like writing that way when you see the words "create a new post"? Does it make you excited and warm and fuzzy on the inside?

Well, I'm not that famous writer who's going to write a short novella in blog form. I'm just that woman down the street with the cats in the window who sits behind her computer a lot.

Getting back down to earth, where I belong, after all, as a mortal being, I have to tell you that right now I am suffering from a rapid cycle and as high as I flew a minute ago, as low as I'm plunging now and the tears are in my eyes from the sadness of it. I suddenly feel like it's not so important anymore to finish this post but for the sake of science I will continue on for a while.

I am feeling very lonely suddenly and wonder how I am going to manage to get through the evening on my own. I will shut the computer off shortly and probably not turn it on again. I will watch television.

Okay, I have to walk the Überhund and then I don't know...get out of this mood somehow. Go to sleep maybe.



Maggie May said...

Sorry that you are feeling lonely. I think that once you come out of the depression, that will pass as you really do manage very well on your own.
Every one feels lonely sometimes and it can happen even in a crowded place.

I NEVER get the urge to create a new blog! I am happy with my familiar one. Guess I might be boring! X

Tessa said...

Irene, read the first two paragraphs of this post again. Think ahout what you have written, and how you have written it. Quite seriously, you have a great gift. Do you see? You write most beautifully, lyrically and with stunning luminosity.

And then you decide you are 'just that woman down the street...' You're not, you know. You have a gift. You are creative and artistic and an extremely good writer. I think you do yourself an injustice by referring to yourself as just somebody, some unimportant woman who lives with her cats and her dog. See? Now you are sad. Please don't be - because more than anything, you bring vitality and meaning to the readers of your blog and we value your talent to do this more than you could ever realise.

Tessa said...

I've just come back from catching up on those posts of yours which I missed while I was away with my sister down in Sussex. You know what I think? For what it's worth, I think this time-change boff that they do in the Northern Hemisphere is freaking everyone out whether they know it or not. It is, quite simply, bad for the physce.

jeannette stgermain said...

The pics you post are always amazing - I love them. You know what I thought of? You still read your books in English?
Maybe you can start a little business creating blogs? (for people who don't get on with the computer too well)
Just to have 101 ideas is not because of your cycles (don't let any doc tell you that:(
I don't have cycles, but I have a 101 ideas all the time! Only not enough time to do them haha - hope you're feeling better tomorrow, dear friend.

Grit said...

tessa is right - i read your words irene for the very clear observation and insight into ordinary everyday moments that otherwise would pass by. i can recognise and share those moments and then i observe things around me too. you see, your influence is wide and crosses countries!

Babaloo said...

I can only agree with what everyone else here has said. You know how your moods change and you therefore know that this is temporary. Go and do something nice for yourself! Have a bath, a hot shower, a hot chocolate, a walk just for yourself (without the dog) or phone a friend.

You have a knack for creating interesting posts out of very little. I always get stuck because I think I have nothing to tell. You can start off with one small observation and end up writing a great post. Wish I had that talent!

Milo said...

i am here Irene... you are not alone.
love, Milo

Jean Levert Hood said...

Take care, Irene, sleep well, and see you tomorrow. I look forward to your posts each day.

Wisewebwoman said...

Yes, I get the lonelies and the unworthies too, Irene, just came off my own cycle, had to, a friend lost her sister in a bad accident and that jerked me up.
Your writing is magnificent, your eye for detail amazing, your exploration of the ordinary makes it extraordinary.

The Gossamer Woman said...

Everybody, thank you so much for all your lovely comments. I worried about this post and was ready to delete it this morning until I saw your comments. I learn a lot from listening to you all.