Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Create a new post.
It's funny, but I see those words and I get the urge to do just that and I give into it with some amount of pleasure. Not that I think beforehand what in the world I am going to write about, oh no! I just want to sit down and create a new post, because the possibility exists. It's the same as when you get a new diary and you open it up and there is the first unwritten new page, and you know you have to write something stupendous on it with your best pen and you try to think of something really good and you just start writing and hope that in the end it will be the greatest thing you ever wrote.
Well, sometimes that's the way I feel when I see the words "create a new post." I can't resist those words and I have to write and think that I will create something the way a godhead created earth, with passion and conviction and totally new in its origins. That's what every writer thinks when he sits down with all of his fired up emotions and his head full of verbs and nouns and adverbs and adjectives that nobody in their dull little head has ever had the courage to combine before. It's like he is about to conduct a very large symphony orchestra and make a tumultuous sound that will tear open the heavens.
Do you ever feel like writing that way when you see the words "create a new post"? Does it make you excited and warm and fuzzy on the inside?
Well, I'm not that famous writer who's going to write a short novella in blog form. I'm just that woman down the street with the cats in the window who sits behind her computer a lot.
Getting back down to earth, where I belong, after all, as a mortal being, I have to tell you that right now I am suffering from a rapid cycle and as high as I flew a minute ago, as low as I'm plunging now and the tears are in my eyes from the sadness of it. I suddenly feel like it's not so important anymore to finish this post but for the sake of science I will continue on for a while.
I am feeling very lonely suddenly and wonder how I am going to manage to get through the evening on my own. I will shut the computer off shortly and probably not turn it on again. I will watch television.
Okay, I have to walk the Überhund and then I don't know...get out of this mood somehow. Go to sleep maybe.