Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Happy, happy, happy, happy days.

As I predicted, I was pretty much over the flu this morning. I was only really thirsty for one large glass of juice and my throat was only a little bit sore. I only had a little bit of the chills and hardly any sore muscles, so I chose to ignore all of that and declared myself well again. That is ever so much better than having to declare yourself sick and not being able to do a thing about it, although I think taking the day off yesterday and resting a lot has helped me get over the worst of it.

I very cheerfully had my morning coffee and my cigarettes and more coffee, because do you know a better way to wake up? Then I very cheerfully got dressed and took my medicines and gave the Überhund his and we went for our walk. It had frozen during the night, but there was no wind, so it was actually nice out with the sun shining. I do really like that kind of weather, providing I am dressed warm enough. It's when the wind starts blowing that I really start to mutter swear words under my breath.

I took my time getting to ergo therapy, because I had to make myself a batch of cigarettes and I knew I didn't want to sit out in the cold on the deck smoking cigarettes with my espressos.

At ergo therapy I realized something that has been happening to me lately and that is, that whatever good mood I have, slowly goes to pieces the longer I sit in the group and listen to everybody's story about their week. I literally sag in my chair and I sag in my mind too at hearing all the tales of gloom and doom and all the excuses of people for why things can't be done differently, and how hard their lives have been, and how they ought to be the exception to the rule when it comes to trying to handle something differently, and I find myself becoming depressed and angry and irritated.

You see, of the original group of 8 people, there are only 3 of us left that were there from the beginning. Everybody else is new and they are not winners. They are negative people who act as if they are being forced to be there against their will and who have a resistance against change. This opposed to how positive and optimistic the group was before. It is very draining and I feel the energy seeping out of me.

During the break, I told the therapist that I was considering leaving the group for those reasons and she asked me to discuss it with my SPN first and that we could make a decision then and find another activity for me. Which will be fine with me. After 5 months of that group, I think it has been enough.

So, anyway, when I got home, I needed to do some grocery shopping and I made a list and bought enough food, I hope, for the next 6 days. As you will know by now, my bike was loaded and precariously I made my way home, always worried about taking the curves too wide and thinking I will run into a car. I am an accident waiting to happen. I just hope that everybody stays out of my way and sees me for the danger I am.

Once I unloaded all the groceries, the sofa looked very appealing and I laid down on it and pulled the yellow blanket over me and fell sleep for a few hours. That was so wonderful, it really helps me get over that bump in the day and I know I need the sleep, because I would not last the day without it. The Überhund woke me up, because he wanted to go out and with renewed vigor we walked around the block.

He really likes the dog food I have for him very much. You can see him eat it with much pleasure. I've also changed the cat food and I think they like this one better, although it is too early to really tell, being the finicky beasts that they are. I am going to make them finish the old cat food too, so I will give them two dishes, one with each cat food and see which they prefer.

I keep forgetting that I own a camera now and that I should be out there taking photographs. I could just start with my neighborhood, where I walk with the Überhund, and expand it from there. I'll try to remember to do that tomorrow. I am just trying to figure out if I'll do that with or without the Überhund, considering the logistics of poop baggies etc.

Now it's time for me to watch some dumb TV, hopefully not, hopefully some intelligent TV.

Have a good evening.



Bev said...

'Considering the logistics of poop baggies!?' LOL

I do hope you take some pictures of where you walk the dog, because it would be interesting.

It is quite an art riding on a bike with things on your handle bars because it unbalances the front and affects the steering. I hope you are OK doing this. I used to use a backpack on my back, which is quite a good idea if you don't mind looking a bit daft.

Maggie May said...

I like the new image on your blog.Forgot to say that yesterday.
Maybe the ergo therapy is stale now. See what they say about change.
Glad you are feeling better.

Grit said...

i agree irene about the huge impacts different groups of people can have; some groups seem to suck all the life blood away, and others offer thirst for living! how difficult to find the best group, to recognise the value of it, and almost impossible to maintain it.

The Writer said...

I'm so glad you're feeling better today! I'm also glad to hear that you're looking at the group. Maybe the fact that it is pulling you down is a signal that its time to move on.

When we lived in Wurtzburg we had a pull along shopping cart that sounds a lot like your bike! We'd get two weeks of groceries, our laundry AND two cans of heating oil in and strapped to this thing and walk three miles with it. We must have been quite a site!

Happy wandering!

The Writer...and her dog, Bear

CC said...

I think if you feel that bad after being in the ergo therapy because what was once positive and optimistic and now very draining it is time for you to move onto somthing new that actually makes you feel good. Looking forward to pictures!!! Have a great day.

Omega Mum said...

Glad you're feeling better. Sorry have been so dismal at posting. Just too much going on.....

Maureen said...

Good to hear you are feeling better, Irene. I love the Fall too; without the wind, you are correct. It was so windy here the other day, chairs on our deck were strewn all over the yard, I had to take in our umbrellla for fear it would snap off, even closed.

Well, Halloween is tomorrow and today is a beautiful calm day. It looks like the kiddies are going to have a nice night tomorrow to trick or treat too.

Take care, wish I could be on that couch under your yellow blanket too...