Tuesday, October 07, 2008

A Popcorn Fart

The hearing about my missing welfare payment turned out to be such a popcorn fart, meaning it had very little air and no power. The two people I faced, and who had to make a report about the hearing, had my complete dossier in front of them and I had documented everything so well, that there was really nothing much for me to add verbally and I could only fall into repetition and reiterate and say what I had already said on paper. The only difference was that they got to see me in person now and saw that I was a civilized human being who was not trying to pull a fast one and who was most sincere in her efforts to get some justice done.

Anyway, following the hearing a report will be made and I will get the final decision in a few days, but I am not holding my breath, because they have the law and the rules on their side, all I have is a plea for compassion and understanding. I am dealing with the middle mote bureaucrats here. The people in gray suits who are dull and never smile and merely put in their hours from 9 to 5. I am nobody special to them, although I try to leave a permanent impression on their minds.

I wore my rocker clothes, my leggings and my lace up boots and a very colorful tunic with a yellow long sleeved stretch T-shirt underneath and my brown leather jacket and my hairdo was perfect. When they came to pick me up from the reception area, there was some confusion on their part as to whom they were really looking for, because they weren't expecting it to be me. I am sure they were expecting a dull middle aged housewife with a perm. Surprise showed on their faces when it turned out to be me they were looking for. I like that. Never fit into the dull expectations that others will have of you.

I was in and out of there in no time and I felt that I had gone on a badly defined mission. It took me longer to get there by bike than to do the hearing. I very leisurely peddled home again to wait for the plumber to rectify the situation with the hot water heater, but he has not called me all day and I have seen no sign of him. I will call again tomorrow morning and make it a point to stay home and ask him pretty please to come over, because it is becoming a problem to do without hot water. I also have to stay home for the pick up service that is going to pick up a package of clothing I am sending back. They were supposed to be here on Saturday, but showed up on Monday, when I was gone and I found a note in my mailbox stating that they would be here tomorrow between noon and 5 PM. That's about as specific as it gets.

I piddled around and accomplished hardly anything. I keep checking my bank account for the subsidy money, but it is not here yet. I did manage to do some grocery shopping with what cash I still had and it was time too, because I was completely out of milk and decaf and those are my two staples. Then a delivery man came and delivered the cat food and Toby almost climbed into the bag when I opened it. He was that hungry and luckily, he liked it, because it is a different brand than they usually get. The cats can be so picky, but they have to eat what's there. As long as the Überhund doesn't eat it, we stay with what I have ordered for them now.

I managed to get another nap in, much to the Überhund's disgust, because he was planning on going for a walk, but I was not capable of it. I had to have some shut eye. I love laying down on the sofa and folding my hands on my chest and drifting off into a sound sleep. It is so refreshing and when I wake up, I am like a reborn person. I get up and am ready for the next round.

This solitary life I lead is so healing to me. I treasure my alone time and rarely feel lonely and how could I, when I am constantly in touch with people from all over the world? With a little bit of imagination, I picture all of you in your lives, carrying on with your every day living and your every day ups and downs. It is all fascinating to me. Luckily, I do see real people also, it isn't only imaginative people I talk too. No, I don't mean you are all imaginative, that is not what I mean, I mean I have to use my imagination a lot to picture the places where you live and the lives you live them in.

The most exciting times for me are the weekends, because I really feel that they are mini vacations. I really feel that I am taking a breather and can put off worrying for two whole days. Not that I am constantly worrying during the week, but I do more of it then. I really think that Sunday is a sacred day and I am glad we leave that day alone here in the Netherlands and close up everything except for the cafés and the restaurants. You should see how little traffic there is in the streets. It is a big relief.

So, I will not go to any of my therapy groups tomorrow, but stay home and wait for various people to show up and frankly, I don't mind, because I've got some work to do around this place. Taking naps does cut into my work availability. I must vacuum instead of just walking by and gathering up bunches of dog hair by hand. I am like a reaper. I have to get down on my knees and mop some well trodden areas of the floor. Scrub them, actually. You can see how the animals walk a track through the living room from the hall way. It gets especially messy by the kitchen where their food bowls are, no matter how often I mop that area. I think it is all a secret plot to keep me busy and they quietly rub in the dirt.

The Exfactor is moving again. The house he is living in is being sold. He is moving into a cloisters that has a kitchen and a wet room and a bathroom and 3 good sized rooms downstairs and 10 bedrooms upstairs. He will be living downstairs and keeping the upstairs safe in a care keeper capacity. The rent is incredibly cheap and all inclusive, which means that from now on he has to officially pay alimony. Social Services has arranged that. It makes no difference for me, because I will just get less money from Social Services. They just make up the difference.

Anyway, the Exfactor should be staying in the cloisters for about a year, giving him ample time to look around for something more permanent. He doesn't want to place himself on the urgency list, because then he has to accept whatever sort of housing they offer him and it could be in any sort of neighborhood and maybe ten floors up in an apartment building. If he refuses them, he goes to the bottom of the list.

You should hear the Überhund snore and you know, it doesn't bother me the way it does if a husband were to snore like that. I find it rather comforting.

I bought some peanut butter today and in a little while I am going to have a slice of bread with peanut butter. I am looking forward to it already.

Right, that's all the rambling I've got for today, so I wish you all a good day or a happy evening, whichever time zone you are in.



Maggie May said...

Wow, since I have been away, everything has changed again. Now why doesn't that surprise me!
Glad you are OK, Irene.

Wisewebwoman said...

Oh I love the pic of you in the services office!!
And I do love the sound of my dog snoring too, Irene, I never thought of that before. So comforting, usually after a long walk when she can hardly keep her head up.

Bev said...

LOL I like your description of them looking for you in the Office! We have seen the clothes so can well imagine .....

`I piddled around and accomplished hardly nothing' LOL Sounds like my day, though yesterday I filled my day walking about five miles with Scamp across country to a distant library to return a library book. I have to use the distant libraries as I have massive fines on the most of the ones round here, though I did have to pay off a £10 fine at a library near here because I want to keep using it LOL

Frances said...

sorry to hear that you have to miss therapy tomorrow. Them's the breaks. BUT - even though you have to miss it tomorrow - you know what I'm going to say... make sure and go next week. Just in case.
You sound very down to me, Irene. I think you dealt well with the hearing, but it is stressful to go through those things, especially when we feel we have no wriggle-room with bureaucrats. No wonder you needed a sleep after that.
Look after yourself and be kind - you are right that you're not alone, many people love you and lots of others care - and we admire and value you.
I can imagine your funky outfit caused some surprise to the suits... LOL. Always good to give them a bit of colour and to get them at a disadvantage.
Keep well sweet woman.

The Writer said...

This is funny. I like blogging for the same reason. I get to see all over the world and see how different people live. Its really fun, I think.

Happy wandering!

The Writer...and her dog, Bear

GoneBackSouth said...

You are so prolific Irene! SO much in a single post. I particularly like the sound of your outfit and your advice: "Never fit into the dull expectations that others will have of you."

Irene said...

Frances, I am surprised that you say I sound very down, because I'm not at all. As a matter of fact, I was feeling quite well when I wrote this last post, so you must have misinterpreted my signals, which is not like you at all. I hope your words are not harbingers of the near future. :)

Cait O'Connor said...

I loved this post Irene, rambling ones are often the best and often it's the little things that are so revealing. Your outfit sounds great. I agree that solitude is healing and yes blogging is great fun and we make many friends along the way.

aims said...

Sounds of contentment and self assurance abound in this post Irene.

So very different from the first days I found you. It always amazes me. Your strengths are vast and your determination is too!

Hugs my friend.