I have decided to add another post to the one I wrote earlier today. I thought I ended that one kind of abruptly when I got it in my mind that I needed to have something special to eat. Well, I never did get something special, because I realized it was just an effort on my part to make me feel better through eating some good food and I had a Cup a Soup instead.
What did begin to dawn on me, how ever, was that my mood was plummeting and that I was sliding down into a depression, although you can't call it that officially unless you've had it for 2 weeks in a row. Possibly this is just a temporary setback and it will be cleared up in no time, but it doesn't feel like that right now. The joy of live has gone out of me a bit. That what I enjoyed before and got excited about, leaves me unmoved now. I felt like sitting down on the sofa and having a good old bawl about it, but I know the tears won't come.
I called my SPN, but she was not in today, she will be back in tomorrow and I left a message for her to call me back. My psychiatrist is not in all week. Facing 4 days by myself seemed like an enormous obstacle and I called the Exfator and asked him if he could come over, which he did later this afternoon. He has agreed to come and check on me a few times a week for the next couple of weeks until we now where I stand. There is no ulterior motive behind this, I simply need a body to come and check on me and have a cup of coffee with me and talk to me for half an hour.
I can't ask my sister to do this, as she has not the proper frame of mind to concern herself with me now. We are several light years apart in our thinking and both tell each other cheerfully that we are doing fine. As a matter of fact, my sister insists on it.
If this is going to turn into a true depression, I'll have to make the best of it and get through it the best way I know how. That means staying on top of everything constantly and not letting it get me too down and out. I still need to function.
Okay, that's all I had to add.