Saturday, October 04, 2008

La dee dah

I am so totally unconcerned with anything today. It must be because it is Saturday and I know that the big gears of bureaucracy and banking lie still and nothing in my life is going to change by me doing any sort of worrying or fretting or mind screwing, to put it nicely.

So, I fill my day with pleasant and useful and not so useful activities and do them as they come to me in no particular order and at whatever speed I deem necessary, with how ever much joy I feel at the moment and that is all very pleasant. I wile away the hours catching up on blogs and doing laundry and walking the Überhund and then I sit and barely eat the one slice of raisinbread that I manage to get down and burp a lot.

The Exfactor was here this morning, because the washing machine at his place is broken and he had been paying 4 Euros to get his laundry badly washed at the laundromat down the street. So I kindly offered him the use of my old but well functioning washing machine and his clothes were washed while he ran errands.

He was here yesterday in his capacity as 'caretaker' over me and that went well. I discussed my recent moods with him and my financial situation and the kind of scrapes I had gotten myself into and we put our heads together and made some sense of it. I think this arrangement will work, as I feel I can be quite honest and not beat around the bush or be embarrassed about how I have been dealing with things, or have not been dealing with them. The Exfactor is primarily a kind person and I have to tell him not to mollycoddle me. I need a firm hand.

It is ridiculous to think or imagine that this arangement is going to lead to a propitiation. All the reasons for our marriage to fail are still there and nothing has changed there. I still need my freedom of thought and movement and I don't want to give up what I have now gained. The Exfactor is still very much in love with the Paramount and I think under the conditions of their arrangement, he will stay that way for quite some time. He also needs his alone time and his freedom of thought and movement. We certainly don't want to go back to stifling each other. Seeing him once or twce a week as a friend and as someone I care for is more than enough. I think that suits us both. We just need a legitimate reason for it and we have that now.

The Überhund is quite funny when the Exfactor comes over. He starts to behave like a puppy who needs all the attention. All his dignity goes out the door and he begs for love and wants to be petted and fussed over and not share the Exfactor with the cats. Luckily, he returns to normal afterwards, because I like him much better then. I do like him to behave like a grown up dog with some amount of common sense and self respect. I hate to see him all humble and pleading for attention.

I saw my sister yesterday when I was out waking the Überhund and when I asked her how she was she said that she was great and that everything was fine again and that her very somber mood had passed. Does that sound familiar to you?

I have discovered a burn hole in one of my favorite dresses and I wonder how long I've been walking around with it? I must remedy the situation and sew the hole closed as well as I can. If you run fast, you won't notice it, my mother always said.

I must end this epistle, because the Überhund needs to go out very badly and is making very desperate noises. I think I must hurry before his bladder bursts.



Madge said...

it sounds like you are all set to have a nice, quiet, relaxing day. enjoy.

looking forward to reading your blog....

Babaloo said...

I absolutely love your headers and how you change them ever so often. I've said it before but I think my blog is in for an overhaul, too. It's just that I can't decide what to do because I don't like any of the templates much.

Glad you're having a relaxing weekend. It's very dull and rainy here, so we're doing the same. I started reading a new thriller yesterday and now I can't put it down.... must rush back.... enjoy your weekend!

kissa said...

The days when you can do what you want when you want are just great. It is windy and very wet so we are taking life slowly just a good way to be. Like your header.

Irene said...

Hi Kissa, it's nice of you to stop by my blog. I'll come over and visit you in a jiffy. I am always curious about new bloggers who find me. See you in a bit.

aims said...

The header and the pic of you are fantastic!

I felt like walking down that road and smelling the hay bales. Then I thought of sitting on the couch beside you and chatting - admiring that fabulous outfit and necklace!

So glad you have the ex-factor to help you along. I understand that completely. Someone who knows you very well and can help you through and steer you straight. He'll be able to see when you wander as he knows you so well. Good Irene.

Have a lovely carefree weekend. You deserve it.

Anonymous said...

I never know what header of picture I will find when I come here, and I love that.

I hope your day is relaxing and that Sunday is too. Life is too short not to enjoy things and relax. Taking it slow, at our own pace, is the way to go. I am getting that, slowly, but it is coming.

It is nice that you and your ex can maintain such a mature and nice friendship. I am not sure I could ever get to that place, if I was ever in that situation. I hope that I could.

Keep writing, I always look forward to hearing about your world.


Frances said...

Yay for friendship and support.
I am glad you will have a regular visitor and especially one who cares and knows about you so well. Though - as you say - he is very kind and tends to spoil you, he doesn't get fooled by the moods and health issues. That's the main thing. The secondary thing is that you trust him to be honest with you and to have your interests at heart. That means you will pay a bit of attention to him if he thinks you are shifting into the hyper state too far. It may stop you from slipping off the rails too far - and maybe even from getting lonely once the single life is more routine.