How do I tell you about today? It started off as such an ordinary day. I did my chores around the apartment and walked the Überhund and barely managed to eat a slice of bread and then, because the weather was so beautiful, I hatched the plan to go downtown and shop and sit on the terrace of my favorite café.
Because I have discovered the joy of wearing leggings, I wanted to expand my wardrobe with another mini type dress, or something, that had long sleeves and that I would be able to wear a long sleeved stretch T-shirt under. I had a vague idea of what it should look like and hoped I would find something on sale at my favorite shop, which is famous for having continuous sales.
So, I got myself all gussied up and hopped on the buss and rode it into town and got off at the market square, where it was busy with all sorts of traffic and people enjoying the sunshine. Dodging bicycles and scooters, I made it to my store and began my search for the perfect dress, which I then proceeded not to find. Mmm...change tactics, rethink the strategy, opt for something else. I looked around some more and saw a beautiful finely knitted cardigan that was as long as my shortest dress in a dark gray color. Maybe it was my size.
I took it to the dressing room and took of some layers of clothes and tried it on and it fit. Great! It was on sale for 30% off. Now I had to find a long sleeved stretch T-shirt to go underneath it and it was soon found for hardly any money at all on sale in an olive green color. That almost made the outfit perfect, because at the cash register there were leggings on sale in my size for an apple and an egg and I found some gray striped ones. I had the necklace and the mini dress to complete the outfit at home, so I happily paid for my purchases, the total price of which didn't make me blink at all. What a steal.
To celebrate my good fortune, I went to Café Monopole and ordered a cappuccino which came with a cookie and a chocolate and those really filled me up. The terraces everywhere were very crowded, but I managed to find a small table for two, so I called the Exfactor and asked him to join me. He was at his work a 5 minute walk away from there.
He came full of glee and we had two glasses of wine together, which made me a little tipsy, but what the heck, all I had to do was get on the right bus and they are clearly marked.
Anyway, from the conversation we had, it became very clear to me how much in love the Exfactor is with the Paramount and that this is a very serious relationship with a future and everything. Now, if you think that was easy for me to hear, guess again. I kept a very straight and neutral face and made all the appropriate remarks, but I was thinking all sorts of other things and I felt like having a good cry. But I'm a tough broad and I can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'.
We discussed our divorce party and our upcoming divorce and I was wondering when it would be final, because I thought it should be any day now. The Exfactor was talking about which people he would invite and how he would show the world that he had not left me behind as a poor helpless, downcast and depressed female and that I was doing great. So, that is his purpose for the party. Kind of doesn't want me to have the party anymore.
Anyway, we parted and I took the bus home and when I got home I got the mail from the mailbox and saw that there was a letter from the lawyer. At the same time the phone rang. It was the Exfactor. He asked me if I had read my mail yet, because our divorce decree was in it. I said that I would call him back and opened the envelope and there it was: In the Name of the Queen, we were officially divorced on October the 1st, 2008.
It was very surreal and I didn't know what to think of it. I thought it was kind of shocking and I called back the Exfactor who acted very lackadaisical about it as if it was an announcement about the trash pick up or something. I asked him what he felt, but I don't think he felt a lot. That is the impression I got.
I called both my sisters, but was unable to talk to either one of them about it, because both of them were up to their ears in their own problems, so I cut the conversations short. I needed to talk to someone and my SPN was not in the office. I finally resorted to calling my psychiatrist on his mobile phone and we had a nice and calm discussion about everything and it really helped clear my mind and get some of my sadness out. I felt a 100% better after I talked to him and was back to my old secure self again, the person who knows what to do and how to go about it.
Considering my still lingering feelings for the Exfactor, it is better if I don't lean on him so much and keep a healthy distance between us. We mustn't be too friendly. I must put up some boundaries and clearly draw a line. It really means that he can't be my safe person anymore, because that is too much of an intimate role for him to play in my life. I'll have to take on the responsibility myself or find some other method.
In the meantime, I sure look cute in my new clothes in combination with my dress and necklace. It is all perfect and I wish I had a party to go to so I could show myself off. Never fear, I walk the Überhund and get looked at enough to stroke my ego.
Now I am going to eat some soup, because I am starving. I hope the story I told you was not too boring, but I had to get it off my chest.