Actually, that isn't quite true. I got my specification in the mail from Social Services today and they are really and truly giving me my complete welfare payment this month. I was shocked and looked at the figure several times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating or reading it wrong, but no, it really says that I'm getting it, so maybe things are looking up for me for a change. It would be so wonderful if for a few months everything would go without a hitch. I have become so used to hitches, that I am afraid to open the mailbox for fear of what bad news it will bring me. Now, at least Social Services seems all straightened out. I just need the Tax Offices to come to their senses now. Hopefully they will see the error of their ways quickly too.
Again, for the umpteenth day in a row, I have hardly done anything, but I must add that I did hardly anything in a much better frame of mind and I am much less disconnected and absentminded and removed from reality, so the extra dose of Risperdal is working and that was a good move on the part of my SPN, because I would not have thought of it myself.
Because she is going to come and visit me on Monday, I have designated tomorrow as housecleaning day and I will really go to town then and have this place sparkle, ahum...let me not exaggerate that. It will be picked up and semi clean and if you want to you can try and eat of the floors, but I would not recommend it. I am not washing the windows, for instance, that would be silly and give a wrong representation of myself.
I have hung up the icon and feel very virtuous now. Mary's eyes follow me all around the room and keep check on everything I do. I have to be good for her sake as she is holding a little adult looking version of Jesus. Two angels hover near her head, doubtlessly whispering virtuous messages into her ears. "You are holding the son of god, be good for goodness sake." Joseph is nowhere in the picture, he just played a supporting role.
I wonder about these nuns committing themselves as brides to Jesus and never knowing the pleasures of the flesh. Were they unfulfilled as women, although I could live as a nun now, but I am 54 and past menopause. Obviously, they never felt the need to beautify themselves and to only be another identically clad member of their order.
That reminds me, when I was dressed in my rock and roll clothes the other day, and tripping down the sidewalk downtown, I crossed glances with a nun and she gave me a big smile. I wonder what she was thinking? There but for the grace of God go I, oh, you misguided woman, you? I do have a soft spot for nuns, because I can never decide if they are misguided or heavenly inspired and tougher than us. If they have a serenity that we will never achieve?
I told the Exfactor that he should be glad that he lives in a nunnery, because all of his ghosts that will come to haunt him will be kind and holy and watch out over him. I wonder how they feel about sex, though? Maybe they'll toss one of the commandments at him on a stone slate. Maybe I should pray to the icon and light a candle there. Does Mary listen to heathens?
Well, one thing there is no shortage of around here is blasphemy in the most respectful way. The Dutch think they are the lost tribe of Israël.
I bought myself 3 pairs of leggings today, as I have come to enjoy wearing them better than my jeans and I do like wearing skirts and dresses. I like the thick cotton leggings the best, as they keep me warmest, but you can layer them also, a thin pair under a thicker pair with warm socks. I bought a bright blue wooden bead necklace for 6 euros and I'm wearing it now and it is very cheerful. One of my necklaces broke, but I am an optimist and consider myself lucky in that all my necklaces break while I'm at home, so I haven't lost one yet. Knock on wood.
It is strictly forbidden to smoke in the train station and you can get a fine, but last night, I and 2 other women did just that when our train was delayed by 10 minutes and we were bored waiting. The platform was nearly deserted and we saw no one official looking and took a chance. I was going to speak English if they caught me and plead ignorance.
One time I smoked in the ladies toilet when I was at the airport in Amsterdam, that's how badly I needed a cigarette. Damned the fine. Café owners are letting their patrons light up inside and then en mass call the cops, who then as a result become so overwhelmed with work that they can't go to all the cafés to enforce the new law. There is anarchy in the country about this. The law will falter and become history. You can't tell a Dutchman what he can't do. Coffee shop owners were told that their patrons couldn't smoke their hash on the premises and that they had to stand on the sidewalk, which caused a problem, so the police sent them back inside.
A government led by Christian Democrats is not a free government, but a government that wants to tell you what's good for you.
Don't get me started...the socialist in me gets very frustrated. I just received a book in the mail from my political party called 'Modern Socialism' and I will be reading that carefully.
Now it's time for me to take the Überhund for his walk and get some fresh air, although it will be cold air. Never mind. I'll put on layers and not suffer.