Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Trying to keep up with me...

It's too early to go back to bed, so I'll have to find a way to amuse myself for about an hour or so. There are various ways I can do that, but I have exhausted just about all of them. I do need to keep myself occupied during these quiet hours in the middle of the night and I try my very best to. I spent much time on Facebook and had to quit that venue before I made a pest of myself. The great thing on Facebook is that you can ignore any sort of nonsense you run across and so I hope my nonsense will be ignored too. Luckily, there is no "dislike" button because that would hurt.

I've had enough coffee to put me in a very good mood, but I've had to stop drinking it so that I will slow down mentally and prepare my state of mind for a return to the bedroom and some necessary sleep. I do like the little high that I get from the caffeine every night that I sit here because it's a total thrill. For a little while it's like I consumed a "happy" pill. Of course, it doesn't last and after that I'm only wide awake and need to come back down to earth. That's not a sudden happening, I slowly drift down again in about an hour's time.

I had enough sense to do the dishes last night, so if I get up late in the morning like I did yesterday, it won't matter. My personal helper is going to be here early and I think I may be in danger of sleeping too long and I am reluctant to set the alarm clock because I want all the sleep I can get. You wouldn't say so given the evidence of me sitting here in the middle of the night, but I really do like to sleep. I am just not very good at it. I only sleep well when I am away from home. It's because I feel safer.

Today I have to call my psychiatrist and tell him about increasing my one medication by 1 mg and ask him to fax a prescription to the pharmacy for tablets of that dose. Otherwise I'm going to have to start cutting tablets in half and they don't have a dividing line, so that may not be so accurate. I will first have to convince him of the necessity of the increase, but I don't think that will be too difficult because I will sound like a perfectly sane person, which I am. I feel that I should have been on this dose all along.  I have been on the edge of being hypomanic, if not actually hypomanic, for quite some time.
I am starting to yawn, so that's a good sign. Within minutes I will be in bed and sound asleep again. Oh yes, I also have to call the doctor's office and find out the results of that blood test. It will be an interesting day. But first, sleep!



Naperville Now said...

I have read that looking at computers will trick our brains into thinking it is daytime, so perhaps this doesn't help with your sleeplessness? take care, thanks for stopping by and your kind words about our littlest.

Friko said...

Your changed template surprised me, at first I thought I was in the wrong blog, but then I realised your post is the same old Irene, not sleeping and drinking coffee.

Don’t do too much self-medicating, except if you are certain you are doing the right thing. I’ve gone wrong in this respect myself.

I read the post (as well as the others) where you write about being glad to being home - in the Netherlands - again. I wish I could go home again too, but for me it’s too late. I don’t belong here and I don’t belong in Germany. Too many changes.