I must be honest with you and tell you that, at this point, I am not gathering up much speed at all, and I think it is because I am drinking heated up coffee. I am convinced that it is not nearly as powerful as a cup of freshly made coffee and hardly does a thing for me, so in the shortest amount of time, I am going to brew a new pot. It is because I was too befuddled that I did not do that in the first place, but I know that once I start writing a post, and have to straighten out my thoughts, the need for a cup of real coffee will make itself known to me.
And, oh yes, I was very befuddled when I got up. I was not in a very happy mood either. I do not know why that was, but could only think of less optimistic things that were complicated and really unnecessary. There was absolutely no need to worry my head about them because I knew that, given enough time and caffeine, I would soon stop that. The best you can do at times is ignore the nonsense that goes on in your head when you are no quite ready and armed to face the day. And I mean, ignore it and not just push it away. Pay it no mind at all.
I am now armed with a fresh cup of coffee and I am sure that will enliven my mind. It is a bit hot to drink, but that is the challenge in it. Of course, my stomach is protesting loudly because it does not like hot coffee, but I need it for my brain. There is so much my stomach does not like that I have to ignore some things. I can now not eat yogurt anymore because it makes me throw up, and it was the organic mild kind. Now I can only eat vanilla custard, but I do like that very much and it is making me gain some weight.
Yes, now I am back to myself again and the worries have disappeared from my mind. I will be darned if I am not going to have a good day. I am stubborn enough to have one.
Actually, I am lying when I say that the worries have disappeared from my mind, because I worry about my stomach and what could be wrong with it quite a bit. What I do mean is, that the senseless little worries that have no use being in my head and taking up space are not there.
I had to take a paracetamol for the pain in my stomach. They are big pills that do not go down easy and I do not enjoy taking them, but as a rule, they do work. I just have to be patient until they do.
This week I have to go for an intake meeting for the endoscopy and I have to go to the eye clinic. I am curious what the result will be of that. Hopefully I will be able to just get new glasses. That would be the least complicated thing. I noticed that I needed new glasses when I was trying to read and had a bit of a hard time doing that. It was frustrating more than anything. I have started to read a novel by Graham Swift and it is intellectual in the first place, but then of course, I am not used to anything anymore. I am being forced to exercise my brain now and it is going through loops.