Friday, December 11, 2009

Just not happening...

I had planned on going grocery shopping this afternoon, but the weather worsened in the course of the day and when I got home from creative therapy it was miserably cold and windy and wet. I didn't want to be out on my bike anymore and parked it in the hallway. I did go out to walk the dog and cursed the wind that was blowing and all I could think about was being warm and cozy inside.

During the coffee break at creative therapy some of us in the smoker's room had discussed smoking and cancer and just then I coughed up a big green phlegm (sorry, this is unappetizing) and I happened to mention that I had a nodule on the lymph gland in my throat for more than two months now and that it was getting bigger. So, then I got the advice that I better go see my doctor and they were real serious about it, so I grabbed my mobile phone and made an appointment right away for Monday afternoon at 4 pm. Of course, then the feeling of dread didn't leave my head and I imagined all sorts of things being wrong with me and that feeling has stayed with me all day. I haven't done a Google search yet, because I don't know what to search for exactly, but I imagine the worst.

Anyway, I'm slightly preoccupied with this now and I keep touching that nodule and it is a little sore. I guess I keep touching it in the hope that it will be gone. Oh, I just realized there's a little one growing on the other side too in exactly the same spot. I hadn't noticed that before. There must be many reasons why your lymph glands get nodules on them. Right? As a result, I was a little bit distracted and didn't do the jobs that I had planned to do, but sat at the dining table drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and doing a lot of thinking. This is possibly a result of Maggie May's dilemma who is seriously ill and whose situation has come to worry me quite a bit and has made me think about life and death issues. Thinking about those things will take care of any depression you may have. It will scare it right out of you.

So anyway, I didn't get any of my jobs done, although the night isn't over yet and there are some hours left before I'll go to bed. I may have time to do the dishes, if I'm so inclined, but I always feel funny about doing housework in the evening, as if I'm not supposed to be doing that. My mother never did anything after we did the dishes after dinner, except make coffee, so I guess I take after her. Besides, the kitchen isn't very bright at night and I would miss the dirty spots on the glasses. I need a better light over the sink. I'm now trying to figure out how to do that. I think there is a way.

I made a terrible drawing at creative therapy today and I didn't even care. I thought, "Oh what the heck, it's one of my last ones, it doesn't matter." I'm coloring it in with ink and that may actually improve it. I have two days left to produce something decent. Maybe I'll have a stroke of genius on Monday all of the sudden and make something wonderful. And maybe Rome was built in one day. I just realized that I would have liked to have made one more collage and I think that if I work fast, I may be able to do it, if I can find the right images. I'll have to look through some magazines I have here and see what I can come up with. I steal magazines wherever I am (not in stores, in waiting rooms), and I have some very good ones here. I almost feel like an evil witch coming up with my little ideas, hee hee!

Oh, by the way, I'm still wearing my new boots and have been all day and they are very comfortable and keep my feet warm and dry. You know how you have some footwear that you have to take off the minute you get home? Well, these I don't. I can wear them non stop. I'm going to toss out two pairs of boots this weekend that are both worn out past repair and I'm never going to buy cheap boots again, because it's just not worth it. I can only wear them one year and then they're worn out completely. It's because of my crooked back and my uneven legs. It makes me wear my shoes and boots out fast if they're not very strongly made. I need very sturdy footwear. Believe me guys. Spend money on good shoes!

I darn near killed three very good house plants. First I forgot to water them and they went limp and then, in my zeal to save them, I over watered them and they started to drop their leaves, leaving them kind of ragged looking. I know they will recuperate, but it will take a while and in the meantime I'm afraid to touch them for fear that they'll drop more leaves. I tell you, you can tell a lot about my mental state of health by looking at my plants. If they look poorly, I'm not doing well. If they've died, I'm in trouble. The thing now is to nurture them back to health again. If I can do that, all is well. Or I may have to go out and buy new plants. That's another option.

Now I've missed the 6 pm news and the 8 pm news, which means that I'll have to watch the 10 pm news. Never fear, there's always a news program sooner or later.

Well, that's all I have to tell you tonight. I'm going to get my pajamas on and vegetate. That's always a nice way to spend the evening. It does mean that I have to take those nice boots off. Oh well...



VioletSky said...

Our imaginations will run wild when we find things not quite right with our bodies. Am so glad you got an appointment soon. Will be thinking of you.

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. It's unlikely swollen glands in your neck are anything terribly serious. I can say this because I practically always have swollen glands in my neck (for many many years - as long as I can remember) and nothing has happened to me yet. I'm not a smoker BTW. The most likely thing is that you're fighting some infection.

Whenever I have pointed this out to the doctor they just say Oh it could be anything - any random infection causes that.

Coughing stuff up would point to an infection. Nothing to worry about! Although obviously you should still get it checked out, being a smoker. But if you have no breathing difficulties and no pain in your lungs or coughing up blood then you're pobably OK.


You're like a little kid with those boots! Not wanting to take them off!

Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx

Maggie May said...

I think as there are two of them and that they are painful means that you are fighting an infection and if you are coughing green phlegm then it probably means a touch of bronchitis.
In the early stages, (if you are worrying about cancer) the nodules are painless and the symptoms would not include phlegm.
I really wouldn't worry too excessively about it.
Sensible to get it checked though and put your mind at rest.
Try & get a good night's sleep and remember, that someone else's illness is not YOUR illness!

Nuts in May

San said...

I'm with Friend of the Bear. This doesn't sound that serious, but I understand how easy it is to let worry about such things take over.

I too am concerned about Maggie.

Let us know what your doctor says. And water those plants! Like I should talk. I'm very forgetful about such.

Gail said...

You will be fine!

Babaloo said...

I'm totally with all the other people, and we just covered the lymph system in Anatomy & Physiology - your glands are probably just swollen because your body is fighting something. But definitely worth getting it checked out.

Love your boots! Have you got a picture of them? Or did I miss that? I might have skipped a day or two on your blog... *blush* Definitely not worth buying cheap footwear. My Mom used to work in a shoe shop and she always, always paid attention that we had the right shoes when we were kids. And I've carried that on with me - no high heels for me!

Breakfast in California said...

Hi kid, hope your throat gets better. Yesterday I gave a luncheon for Helen for our birthdays, she's 70!! I'm not!!!

Anyway, everyone was there and we got to talking about the old days. We all miss you, and I told them about your blog.

Haven't heard from Nancy in ages, and it was her b-day too. Do you ever hear from her?

Take care and stay warm. It's raining here and I'm putting up the tree. Miss you.