Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Do as I say, not as I do.
I woke up early and couldn't sleep anymore. I felt I had to write another post to offset the one I had written last night that was so bitter and gloomy. Things always look different in the morning, right? So here I am with my cup of coffee and my cigarettes to make a new start and to toss some optimism your way. Today we are seeing the glass half full and not half empty like we did last night.
First we put on some nice music to get in the proper mood, which needs to be mellow,and it is quickly found here. Then we sit up straight in our chair and with our back straight and our feet crossed at the ankles and a perky look on our face we proceed.
You see how I talk about myself as the royal "we," as if things have gone to my head and I have formed an attitude. Maybe people should speak about themselves in that way every so often to give a little boost to their self esteem. It's nice to think of yourself as a multitude instead of just one single person with one little voice that gets outshouted in the masses. I will definitely go through life as a "we" in the apartment today, if not in the outside world. It may be harder to pull off there, although I can secretly think it. Alas, lines at the post office will not suddenly shorten because I stand in it.
When you are a "we," you speak with authority and with a certain disdain for what other lesser mortals think. You feel yourself lifted above the masses and look down with pity and disregard on the rest of manhood. Suddenly you are not one of "them" anymore. You may not even be mortal any longer, but who is going to try and test that theory?
So I (as in "we") have decided that I am more than worthy of any love anyone choses to bestow on me and that I should never doubt the sincerity of it. It is ridiculous to think that I would deserve anything less, being of elevated stature and nature and understanding of the meaning of the word in all its nuances. I know the limits of human ability to apply it and I know also the human ability to rise to the occasion and reach greater heights in it if that is called for.
Therefor I will wait patiently, which I can afford as a royal "we," and wait and see whatever the day choses to bring me to judge my decisions on. I will be as wise as Solomon. I will be patient and mindful and merciful in my judgments and not shout hastily for the death penalty for love. I will weigh each decision on a golden balance. I will be fair.
So, now then, I am taking "us" back to bed to sleep some more and to feel quite cozy under the duvet. I'm sure to be up and about and alert when I need to be.