Just not happening...

I had planned on going grocery shopping this afternoon, but the weather worsened in the course of the day and when I got home from creative therapy it was miserably cold and windy and wet. I didn't want to be out on my bike anymore and parked it in the hallway. I did go out to walk the dog and cursed the wind that was blowing and all I could think about was being warm and cozy inside.

During the coffee break at creative therapy some of us in the smoker's room had discussed smoking and cancer and just then I coughed up a big green phlegm (sorry, this is unappetizing) and I happened to mention that I had a nodule on the lymph gland in my throat for more than two months now and that it was getting bigger. So, then I got the advice that I better go see my doctor and they were real serious about it, so I grabbed my mobile phone and made an appointment right away for Monday afternoon at 4 pm. Of course, then the feeling of dread didn't leave my head and I imagined all sorts of things being wrong with me and that feeling has stayed with me all day. I haven't done a Google search yet, because I don't know what to search for exactly, but I imagine the worst.

Anyway, I'm slightly preoccupied with this now and I keep touching that nodule and it is a little sore. I guess I keep touching it in the hope that it will be gone. Oh, I just realized there's a little one growing on the other side too in exactly the same spot. I hadn't noticed that before. There must be many reasons why your lymph glands get nodules on them. Right? As a result, I was a little bit distracted and didn't do the jobs that I had planned to do, but sat at the dining table drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and doing a lot of thinking. This is possibly a result of Maggie May's dilemma who is seriously ill and whose situation has come to worry me quite a bit and has made me think about life and death issues. Thinking about those things will take care of any depression you may have. It will scare it right out of you.

So anyway, I didn't get any of my jobs done, although the night isn't over yet and there are some hours left before I'll go to bed. I may have time to do the dishes, if I'm so inclined, but I always feel funny about doing housework in the evening, as if I'm not supposed to be doing that. My mother never did anything after we did the dishes after dinner, except make coffee, so I guess I take after her. Besides, the kitchen isn't very bright at night and I would miss the dirty spots on the glasses. I need a better light over the sink. I'm now trying to figure out how to do that. I think there is a way.

I made a terrible drawing at creative therapy today and I didn't even care. I thought, "Oh what the heck, it's one of my last ones, it doesn't matter." I'm coloring it in with ink and that may actually improve it. I have two days left to produce something decent. Maybe I'll have a stroke of genius on Monday all of the sudden and make something wonderful. And maybe Rome was built in one day. I just realized that I would have liked to have made one more collage and I think that if I work fast, I may be able to do it, if I can find the right images. I'll have to look through some magazines I have here and see what I can come up with. I steal magazines wherever I am (not in stores, in waiting rooms), and I have some very good ones here. I almost feel like an evil witch coming up with my little ideas, hee hee!

Oh, by the way, I'm still wearing my new boots and have been all day and they are very comfortable and keep my feet warm and dry. You know how you have some footwear that you have to take off the minute you get home? Well, these I don't. I can wear them non stop. I'm going to toss out two pairs of boots this weekend that are both worn out past repair and I'm never going to buy cheap boots again, because it's just not worth it. I can only wear them one year and then they're worn out completely. It's because of my crooked back and my uneven legs. It makes me wear my shoes and boots out fast if they're not very strongly made. I need very sturdy footwear. Believe me guys. Spend money on good shoes!

I darn near killed three very good house plants. First I forgot to water them and they went limp and then, in my zeal to save them, I over watered them and they started to drop their leaves, leaving them kind of ragged looking. I know they will recuperate, but it will take a while and in the meantime I'm afraid to touch them for fear that they'll drop more leaves. I tell you, you can tell a lot about my mental state of health by looking at my plants. If they look poorly, I'm not doing well. If they've died, I'm in trouble. The thing now is to nurture them back to health again. If I can do that, all is well. Or I may have to go out and buy new plants. That's another option.

Now I've missed the 6 pm news and the 8 pm news, which means that I'll have to watch the 10 pm news. Never fear, there's always a news program sooner or later.

Well, that's all I have to tell you tonight. I'm going to get my pajamas on and vegetate. That's always a nice way to spend the evening. It does mean that I have to take those nice boots off. Oh well...

Ciao,
Nora

I ought to...

I should be running around now like a chicken with its head cut off, but instead I'm sitting here cool as a cucumber writing this post. I am a terrible housewife and think I can pull the whole thing off in less than one hour. I probably will too. I'll pretend to be in great haste and speed through my chores like a mad Tasmanian Devil and get them done in the shortest amount of time. Well, I don't have to pretend to be in great haste, I will actually be so, because J. will be here at 2 pm and I better be done by then. Do you think I like to live on the edge? I would say I do.

I was up part of the night and went to bed early in the morning. The alarm clock woke me at 7 am, but I shut it off, of course, and went back to sleep. When I was ready to wake up, I really wasn't. I could have slept some more and I've needed two cups of coffee to wake up properly and many cigarettes. My addictions have been adequately fed now and I am just about ready to face the inevitability of the day.

We're going to have rain showers today, but it is actually going to be warm for the time of year. A whole 16C, that is 60F for you Americans. It is unheard of.

I'm going to rattle through this post as fast as I can and only tell you things that happen to pop up in my head randomly. Oh yes, I posted a new story on my writing blog. You know where to find it. At least I hope you do. If you don't, you can find it here. There, I helped you out after all. Now there's no excuse not to go and read it. It's a six sentences.

I must remember to not slump in the chair, but to sit upright, because it is better for my back. Sometimes I'm leaning way over to the left and I wonder why I can't see the keyboard properly. Right now I'm doing my best to sit up straight with both feet planted firmly on the ground, and believe me, it is a much better position to be in. It's so easy to forget good habits and to let yourself sit like a sack of potatoes, resulting in all sorts of aches in your body that are unnecessary. The thing to remember is to have both feet on the ground and both buns planted firmly in the chair and to have your back straight and self supporting.

I think my mattress must be a very good one, because I rarely wake up with a backache. It is a firm one and the underlying system is firm too. It doesn't give a lot. I had to get used to it when I first had it and I thought it was too firm and I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep on it, but now that I've had it for more than a year, I must say that it has been good for me and that I seldom have backaches anymore. But I do get muscle aches from sitting incorrectly in the computer chair and because of the curve in my spine, I will always have that tendency to lean to the left.

Lord, if that's the worst of it, then I don't have much to complain about. I will count my blessings as I discover them and remember to look for them in all the right places. They shouldn't be too hard to find.

This opposed to the situation my blogging friend Maggie May finds herself in. It would be very good of you if you stopped by her blog and sent her some good thoughts and well wishes, because she sure can use them now. She just discovered that she has secondary cancer and has to deal with that fact and it is very difficult, but she's a real trooper. It makes me want to count my blessings all the more and appreciate my good health every day of my life. From one day to the next, you can suddenly find yourself in a completely life altering situation.

The animals are becoming unruly and want to be fed and watered. My plants want to be watered too. I forgot to do that last week and they look a little dry, especially now that I have the heater on. Actually, the heater goes on seldom, because it does stay warm in here very well. I have the thermometer set at 20C and I feel the radiators every once in a while, but very often they are cold, meaning the space is warm enough. Bless my neighbors for that.

I need to get the show on the road now and get dressed and start cleaning. I'll whip that vacuum cleaner through the apartment so fast, I'll be like Speedy Gonzalez. And mop that bathroom floor. Nothing can defeat me. I'll do it with the greatest of ease and all the muscle power I have.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and that you don't have all those ran showers like we are having. Unless you need them, of course. Maybe you are in a very dry part of the world.

Ciao,
Nora