Monday, December 07, 2009
After the party...
I just got back from the party at my sister's house and I must say that the dog and I had a very good time. I drank white wine almost all the time I was there and realized at one point that I was tipsy and didn't quite walk as straight as I wanted to, so I had some cups of cappuccino as quickly as I could and spend the rest of the time sobering up. I was successful and soon enough started to feel like a regular human being. It's all mind over matter and you will yourself to be sober again. At one point you start making sense and your thoughts get straightened out. You can almost see it happen if you wait a decent enough time and have coffee and something to eat.
My sister had delicious Moroccan food and I tasted it as well as I could, that is a little bite at the time with decent intervals and some for the dog if it turned out to be too much. She had made a soup with chick peas and garlic and tomatoes and all sorts of wonderful things in it and it was delicious and I was able to eat a small bowl of it. The table was loaded with all sorts of vegetarian salads and flat bread and finger foods, all Moroccan style, and it was a feast for the eyes, but a bit frustrating when you have a gastric band. Still, I managed to taste some of most everything.
The dog likes a party as much as anybody and had a great time socializing with everybody. He walked around as if he was the guest of honor and moved from one group to the next as if he had important things to say. He was really good, though, and didn't make a pest of himself one time. He didn't beg and he didn't bark, but just hung out. He made me proud.
Now I'm just sitting here unwinding and reminding myself that it's Sunday night and that I have to get up early tomorrow morning. I wish it was Saturday, but alas. One should always have the day off after a party, but I suppose that's not always in the planning. I guess you can tell that I'm not used to much, because a little bit of socializing sets me right on my head. I did enjoy it very much, though, and would like to do it more often, with or without the wine. I didn't count on the delayed reaction of it after I drank it. I thought I was doing fine. It's when I got a bit wobbly that I thought I might have had a bit too much. I'm sure I can have as much fun without the wine, though I may be a touch more inhibited.
It's a shame that I have a tendency to be shy. I stay on the sidelines instead of moving into the group. I have to make a real effort to socialize. You wouldn't think so if you only knew me from my blog, but I have a hard time getting to know people. It's not that I don't have any social graces, it's just that I'm very often standing there with my foot in my mouth, desperately thinking of something smart to say and then keeping the conversation going. That's why I like to be around people who like to talk, because I'm a good listener and a good commentator. Just don't ask me to carry the conversation, unless it's about something I'm passionate about, which aren't that many things, because mostly I keep quiet about them and figure that silence is golden. Which it is, believe me.
I suppose I'm very self conscious and inwardly have a judge who constantly observes me and checks my behavior and my conversational skills. I guess I'm always worried about looking foolish or stupid or not intelligent enough or being found out as being faulty somehow. I imagine I would like to have a huge super ego that is enormously proud of itself and that is never defeated in the face of anything and anybody. But I guess that's not realistic either. That would be in the realms of a disorder and that would not be healthy at all. But it must be wonderful to be super assured of yourself. Somebody ought to invent a pill to take for that. An assuredness pill. I guess that's what anti anxiety medication is all about.
Oh shoot, I looked at the living room clock and just realized that it has stopped. I thought it was much earlier. The battery must be dead. I'm not wearing my watch because the band is broken and the clock on the computer is so small that I hardly can see it. Well, I'll just go to bed a little bit late then. It is really no big deal. Worse things have happened and if I don't get up in the morning, well, that's just too bad. I just have to make sure that I turn off the alarm clock so I don't wake up prematurely. Masterly planning on my part, I think.
I haven't eaten very much today, so I'm going to eat something substantial before I go to bed, but first I'm going to take my medicines and put my pajamas on. That's always a part of the night I look forward to very much, because it's so cozy to sit in my bathrobe and slippers and watch the repeat of the news on television. The dog has had such a busy evening that he's been out cold since we've been home. The cats are stalking each other through the apartment, pretending they are scaring each other half to death each time. I have so much amusement in my life. A snoring dog and stalking cats.
I hope you're all having a good night and that you will all have a good morning.