Saturday, October 24, 2009

Well past midnight...

I'm sitting here so merrily in the half dark with my glass of juice and my cigarettes and my snoring dog, who doesn't have a good way to let me know that his water bowl is empty, so I don't know what he wants and do a guessing game, until I notice it myself and refill it. I must remember to include this in the possible reasons why Jesker is trying to get my attention. I normally fill it up every day, but it slipped my mind today and the bowl was dry.

Now, if he were a smart dog, I would expect him to pick up his bowl and bring it to me, or at least to go sit next to it and bark beside it, but he does no such thing. He just comes to me and complains in a general sense, that could mean anything and I am preoccupied and think he needs to go out back or that he wants to be petted. Which is fine with him too, but that is not his final goal. So he keeps on fussing and I keep guessing. It's just like having a toddler, except that Jesker doesn't throw a temper tantrum. I guess I'll take the dog then.

Jesker doesn't eat his dried dog food, the cats do that. Today I watched the cats eat the dog food and the dog eat the cat food. I quickly put an end to some of that by feeding Jesker a pouch of his food, but I can't stop the cats from eating the dog food. They eat it with the greatest appetite, preferring it over their own food, and they have their eyes closed in satisfaction as they eat it. They are just an inch short of purring over it. I guess I don't have to worry about the cats having a good life here. They're just plain old scavengers, but they're not getting the smallest chance to eat the dog food from the pouches. Jesker likes it so much, that he doesn't leave it unguarded for one second.

Anyway, enough about the animals already.

I had a great old relaxing time at creative therapy and made great headway with my painting. As a matter of fact, almost every detail is painted and I just have to give some things a second layer. Painting, and being in that space, does wonders for my mood, and it always gets me in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day. As I sit there and paint, I listen to what happens around me and make the odd comment, but mostly I just sit and work and keep silent. That way I get to enjoy all the conversations and all the silliness that goes on and I can participate when and if I want to. I think I have to arrange for my sister to come and pick up the paintings next week, because I'll have four of them ready and it's time to take them home.

When I got home at 12:30, the Exfactor was there and he had already walked the dog, so that was very convenient for me. I think he enjoys doing that for old time's sake. Jesker did come and greet me when I came home, but you can tell that he thinks it is mighty interesting that the Exfactor is here. He is torn between the two of us and doesn't know which one of us to sit beside, although he gets the most attention from me. The Exfactor is not really that much of a dog person. They require too much attention. He likes cats better and their independent spirits. I like bonding with dogs.

After he left, I got ready to go out and I had to make sure my purse was stocked with all the things I needed, wallet, bankcard, mobile phone, keys, you name it. I went to the pharmacy first to pick up a three month supply of mood stabilizers, and then I rode my bike downtown and parked it beside the Our Dear Lady Basilica and walked across the square and down the little cobblestoned street to Specsavers.

They got my information out and could see which lenses I need for my glasses and because one of them is so strong, with the big astigmatism, they have to be special ordered from the factory. That should take about a week and they will call me when they arrive. Then I will go in with my glasses and they will fit in the new lenses while I wait. The man did not want me to go without my glasses that whole week because of my astigmatism. Needless to say, I didn't tell him that I did without them a lot. I left him to believe that I was a faithful glasses wearer, which I will be from now on. He only charged me half the price for the new lenses, because he felt it was such a shame that I lost my glasses after I had not even had them for a year. I thought that was very decent of him. Specsavers gives me a good deal every time I go in.

After that, I walked back to the square and sat on the terrace and had a cappuccino and was immediately recognized by the waiter who wanted to know where my friend was, whom he assumed was my younger sister. I helped him out of that mistaken illusion and told him she had a date, which she did. It was a bit chilly out and the trees are losing their leaves, but it will still be possible to sit under the awning where they have overhead heating. I drank my cappuccino and watched the people walk by and relaxed for a while. You see all types walk by and I especially watch the women and what they wear and I see that I have to invest in some new boots, because my old ones just won't do anymore. I also saw what sort of winter coats women wore and there were some really nice ones, so I have to give that some consideration too. In a town like Maastricht, you have to be well dressed. But for the money, you know?

I rode my bike back home reluctantly, not going shopping at my favorite store, because that would have been unwise, and I got home just in time to have something to eat and have a little nap. I walked the dog and put on my pajamas and watched the news, but fell asleep watching it and laid spread out over the sofa like a comatose person, until Jesker woke me up. That's when I had to start guessing what he wanted. In my semi sleep condition, I couldn't figure it out right away.

If I'm smart with my groceries, I won't have to go shopping until Monday.That means I really have to make things last and be a frugal consumer. I should be able to do that and make it through the weekend. That means I have to eat soup for two meals. I have pea soup and bean soup. That sounds good, doesn't it?

Now, without much further ado, I will go and read blogs. I have been neglecting to do that. I've been too caught up in my own life, how very odd.

Have a nice night and a beautiful morning, wherever you are.



Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Nora. You sound good! Great that the agoraphobia has gone. I'm amazed that you went to a cafe downtown even though you weren't meeting your friend. That is real confidence.

The mind is so strange isn't it. That one Friday you are full of panic and can't go into town at all and then another Friday you have no problems going downtown on your own.

No wonder I find the mind endlessly facinating! How can one reconcile two such different states of being within the same mind in a relatively short space of time? And when it is one way, it's impossible to deliberately cultivate the opposite mindset.

The mechanisms of the mind can keep me happily pondering for hours. Even when I have been severely ill I have always had an appreciation of the psychological processes involved.

Glad that your recent depression has lifted and life is easier.

You must have really charmed the man in Specsavers, lol!

Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx

Patricia said...

your comment about watching the women and what they were wearing reminded me of the time I was shoe shopping and realized I hadn't a clue what most women were wearing. I went outside the store and stood watching the people for awhile...then went back and bought my shoes. I guess I don't pay much attention to clothes.

The Green Stone Woman said...

Patricia, that's what I have to do. I have to look and see what other women are wearing before I can choose my clothes, although I am influenced by my own taste. I do have to like what I'm wearing. But especially with boots I have to see what everybody is wearing before I can buy my own. Otherwise I'll be wearing boots that were in style four seasons ago.

Casdok said...

I also love to sit with a coffee and people watch.
Glad you worked out what Jesker wanted in the end. I have to play those guessing games with C!

VioletSky said...

My cat just sits by her food or water bowl, just sits and waits. Sometimes she looks from me to the cupboard, expectantly, but is so quiet, I often forget to fill her bowls. Poor thing, she must learn to speak up for herself!

I'm glad you were able to treat yourself to an afternoon downtown and a seat at the cafe. I love to people watch, but rarely buy what I see others wearing. Now I'm going to be thinking about why that is - though it won't bother me much.

laurie said...

do you have to bring a bike lock with you wherever you go? or can you leave your bike without fear of it being stolen?

the big bike cable and heavy lock keep me from biking places more than i should.

Maureen said...

Oh catching up on blog reading is what I excel at!!! ;)

I love soup in the fall and winter. It's something I miss having when it is too hot to make. Give me a hearty bowl and some fresh bread and cheese and I'm mighty happy.