Saturday, October 10, 2009
See the Previous Post, Please.
For the paintings, drawings and collages, please see the previous post. I made the effort to put them up, and also took the courage too, so I don't want you to miss them and give me your opinion on them, because that's very important to me. I do notice that now that I've posted them, it gives me more incentive to create more collages and paintings, but especially colorful collages, which I have not made in a while and I'm now excited about making more of them. I'll be starting on those tomorrow, considering I liked the ones I posted so much and you seemed to like them too.
The reason I am now writing this post, is because it is the middle of the night again, and I am wide awake as I am so often lately and unlikely to go to bed for a while. I've read all the blogs and commented on them and I've read all the emails and responded to them also. So, there is nothing left to do but write a post, because I have to keep myself occupied and out of trouble somehow, though I realize that I could be doing some artwork instead also, but it may not be the right time for that. The muse may not be as wide awake as I am.
The day which I had so carefully planned this morning, did not go as I had expected it to, because when I was in the bathroom getting ready, I got a sheer case of nerves when I thought about the fact that I had to go downtown in the afternoon. I was practically trembling when I thought about it and I had a tightness about my chest and I felt a lot of anxiety. I knew only one thing could set me free, and that would be to cancel my afternoon plans, which I quickly did with an email to my friend Von.
Having done that, I felt the anxiety drop away from me immediately and I could think straight again. Right away, my mood improved and I was happy again and life was manageable once more. I was not worried about going to creative therapy, which is a 5 minute bike ride away from here and a very safe place for me to go to. I was looking forward to it and it was a very uncomplicated thing to do.
When I came home, it was with a great deal of relief that I put my bike inside the hallway with the thought that I did not have to go out again, but some time later I remembered that I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up five kinds of medicines. Well, that was a problem. I had a dilemma and started screwing up my courage to go over there, but to get there meant that I had to ride my bike along a busy street and cross two busy intersections. This seemed to me too fraught with possible stress and I didn't want to go and kept postponing it, until I got the brilliant idea that the pharmacy also delivers and I called them and asked them if they would do that for me and they agreed to, much to my relief. So, I was off the hook and could relax. I did take an extra tranquilizer, because I needed to calm down a bit.
I spent part of the afternoon painting two drawings that I had started earlier and that I want to finish before I do anything else. I also want to finish the field of flowers, because I looked at it today and saw that it was too neat and organized and it wants a little more randomness and abundance. I am trying to not leave anything unfinished, unless it is a total flop and I can't do a thing with it, but save the paper for another purpose. For making a collage on, for example.
The Exfactor has brought me another box of tubes of acrylic paints and there is an idea growing in my head about something I want to make. You all know the painting "American Gothic." I want to do something like that under a starry dark moonlit night, but I first have to find a good image of it and my printer is without ink. I may have it in one of my art books. I'll have to look for it. I have a vision of how I want it to look, but it has to square up with the original version. I don't know yet how much I'm going to change about it. I suppose I'll google it shortly and maybe make a sketch of it.
It's nice to have all these possible ideas floating around inside your head and to have to go look for examples of the animals or people or objects that you want to represent in your painting. You're bound to have to do some research. Who can draw an elephant without having a good look at one? Or a cow? Or a giraffe?
I slept on the sofa in the evening. I felt a good nap coming up as I was eating my dinner. I was yawning and not trying to fall asleep as I was watching the news afterwards, but I couldn't help myself and now I'm uninformed again. I'll have to watch the repeats in a little while. At least I will know something, even though they are the condensed versions. People who stay up all night long are not supposed to be fully informed, I guess. It's a very Calvinistic point of view.
Jesker is sleeping in the bedroom in spite of the fact that I'm not there. He has come out once or twice to have a look at me, but then grumpily goes back to his pillow there. I suppose I am disturbing his good night's rest. He does like his peace and quiet just like I do and the lights out.
Well, I'll go look up that painting and maybe do some art. Just a little bit of it, since it's almost morning, while I listen to the news.
Have a good morning, all of you. Enjoy your Saturday.